


Just Let Me Adore You

by emalemaleigh



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Don’t get on Lindsey’s bad side, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kelley can’t get out of her head, Kelley needs attention, Krashlyn - Freeform, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, NWSL, One Night Stands, Orlando Pride, O’Solo, PREATH - Freeform, Portland Thorns, Saucy Sonny, Slow Burn, Sohara, Sohara is Endgame, Sonny gives it, Sonny tries so hard, So’hara - Freeform, The Great Horan, USWNT, Utah Royals, so'hara, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:53:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 44,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23624173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emalemaleigh/pseuds/emalemaleigh
Summary: In the whirlwind celebrations of the World Cup, Kelley and Emily share a moment that changes everything.
Relationships: Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger, Kelley O'Hara/Emily Sonnett, Kelley O'Hara/Hope Solo, Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 186
Kudos: 428





	1. Suddenly, Everything Has Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s the big deal? So, you have a crush.”
> 
> —  
> Title is Flaming Lips

The World Cup final. Emily Sonnett never thought she’d be here. It was always her dream, but the reality of it always seemed out of the realm of possibility. She didn’t expect any minutes in this game, or at least meaningful ones. Not when you have people like Kelley O’Hara, one of if not the best right backs in the world. Watching Kelley play was like watching her idol. She was okay with warming the bench for Kelley, who had been through so much these past few years. Emily knew that this was likely her last World Cup, though she might not want to admit it. So, Emily did what she does best, hypes her team up. She cheers as loud as she can, jumping up from her seat every 30 seconds. As the time ticked on, still no score. The Netherlands were on their way to becoming the first team to not concede a goal to the US in the first half and they were battling. 

Two minutes before half time, Emily leapt out of her seat again, but for a different reason. She’d watched Kelley collide with one of the Dutch players, and they both lay on the ground. Emily stood on her tippy toes, trying to get a glimpse of her teammate, but she wasn’t moving. Soon enough, Kelley was surrounded by teammates and trainers and now, Emily can’t see anything. 

After what felt like an eternity, Kelley stands up. And, in classic Kelley fashion, she’s refusing to come off. 

_Come on, Kel. Don’t be stupid._ Emily thinks to herself. Emily has known Kelley for years now and sees her as a close friend. She knows Kelley like the back of her hand and knows that someone will have to drag her off the field. She stands by the fourth official, waiting to be motioned back onto the field. All Emily can do is look from Kelley to Jill and back again. She cannot believe her coach is letting her go back onto the field after what just happened. She can’t believe the Dutch coach is letting her player back on. Emily thinks about watching another one of her teammates and close friend, Morgan Brian, and the head injury she had sustained. That injury set Moe back years, and it could have taken a lot less time if she hadn’t been allowed to continue playing. That’s the future Emily fears for Kelley. She turns to look at Moe, a panic-stricken look across her face. 

The last few moments of the first half tick on for what feels like hours. Emily watches Kelley’s movements. There is definitely something wrong. Her touches are off, her balance is shaky, and her eyes aren’t focusing. It’s all Emily can do not to run out and stop play. 

Finally, the referee signals half-time and Emily lets out her breath. Her mind starts racing again with worry. _Wh_ _a_ _t if Jill lets her keep playing?_ She thinks to herself. She watches as Kelley is escorted into the training room off the locker room. She barely listens to the half-time talk, her eyes trained on the closed door in the corner. Just before the they’re called back out onto the field; the trainer comes out and pulls Jill aside. Emily tries to read their lips, but she knows its worthless. She watches Jill call Ali over and Emily knows. She knows that Kelley is done. As the last few players filter out onto the pitch, Emily catches her out of the corner of her eyes. Kelley, walking feebly out of the training room, shin guards in hand. Emily watches her throw them against the locker, tears brimming in her eyes. 

It’s about ten minutes into the second half when she comes back out to sit with the team, dropping into the seat next to Emily. “You okay, Kel?” Emily asks 

Kelley responds with a grunt, her eyes never leaving the field. They all stand and cheer when Pinoe scores the penalty, and Emily almost runs onto the field when Rose scored. Kelley cheers, but in a more reserved manner than she normally would. 

“You sure you’re okay?” Emily asks again. 

“Sonnett, I said I’m fucking fine. Drop it, now.” She snaps, angling her body away from her teammate. Emily can’t remember a time where Kelley had spoken to her like that. Sure, she was known for being brash and argumentative, but Kelley was never mean. She had never so much as raised her voice at Emily, let alone cursed at her like that. Emily knew that it had to do with being taken out of the game, but it still shocked her. 

They win. World Cup Champions. They storm the field and bask in the glow. The sun, the confetti, the cheering, it’s all incredible. The trophy presentation, the medals, the media, it was all so insane, and Emily drank in every second of it. She let herself to stop thinking about Kelley for now, citing that she was running around like a mad-man and smiling from ear to ear. She hugs Lindsey, cries with her mom, and jokes with her sister. Soon enough, they are being shepherded back into the locker rooms, where the champagne, beer, and silly string was waiting. 

Emily couldn’t keep still if she had tried. The music blasted and the alcohol was free flowing. They drank and danced and drank some more. She did her best not to, but her gaze kept drifting toward a particular brunette and her boundless energy. There was one moment where they made meaningful eye contact. It lasted half a second, ending with Kelley rolling her eyes and huffing. Emily didn’t realize just how much concern was written across her face. 

*** 

Emily had known Kelley for the better part of four years now. She’d known OF Kelley for much longer, both of them coming from Georgia and both were forwards turned defenders. Emily had looked up to Kelley and finally getting to play with her was like a dream. As she had spent more and more time with Kelley over the years, Emily had developed a small crush. How could she not? Everything about Kelley was exciting to her. Her smile, her laugh, man that laugh. And how could she not fall for the way Kelley throws herself one hundred percent into everything she does? Or the way she makes those around her happier than how she found them? How could Emily not swoon when Kelley did things like memorizing her coffee order or sending Emily a birthday present that she had obviously spent a long time looking for. Finding a copy of Emily’s favorite album on colored vinyl could not have been easy. She thinks about the way Kelley always wants to touch her. Not in a weird way, she just wants the closeness. Emily had grown to learn that physical touch was one of Kelley’s love languages and was more than happy to oblige. Usually it was just a hip check, or an arm slung around Emily’s shoulder, but over the years it had turned into prolonged hugs, hands running through Emily’s hair, and hand holding. And Emily never asked her to stop. 

She didn’t tell anyone about it for the longest time, instead she allowed it to fester to the point where she would over-analyze every interaction they had. Finally, at January camp that year, she broke down and told Lindsey. And Lindsey laughed. 

“What the hell, Linds? I bare my soul to you, and you laugh?” Emily falls back onto the hotel bed. 

“I’m sorry, dude. I just thought I just thought you were about to ask me to help you bury a body. Not tell me something I already knew.” She keeps laughing and Emily bolt upright. 

“You knew?!” 

“Son, I mean this in the nicest way possible. Everyone knows.” 

Emily could feel all the color draining from her face. “Everyone?” 

“Let me rephrase. Everyone except Kelley. Somehow, she is completely oblivious, or at least she pretends to be.” Lindsey shrugs. “Oh, and Sam has no clue, but that’s just Sam.” 

“Everyone knows? Why didn’t you tell me?” Emily whines, falling back onto the bed again. 

“Son, it’s not that big of a deal. So, you have a crush.” 

“Easy for you to say! You ever been in love with your teammate?” 

“Well, no. Wait, in love? I thought this was just something stupid and innocent. You love her?” 

“I don’t know, Lindsey. How can you love someone you’ve never actually been with? What if I’ve just built everything up inside my head?” Emily grabs a pillow and tries to smother herself with it. 

“Well, to paraphrase your man, Dumbledore, ‘of course it’s happening inside you head, but why should that mean it’s not real?’” 

“I knew I was going to regret making you read the books.” 

Lindsey rolled her eyes. “Look, Son. If you like her, go for it. Otherwise, get better at hiding your sappy heart eyes. Personally, I say go for it. You two are made for each other.” 

“Why does that not sound like a compliment?” 

*** 

Back in the locker room, Emily is pulled out of her thoughts when Ashlyn comes running by, spraying everyone in her path with champagne. 

Later that evening, a bar in Lyon had been rented out for the team. The drinks were still flowing and soon they were dancing on the bar. As the evening wore on well into the early morning hours, no one was in a mood to leave. 

Emily is waiting at the bar for another drink when she feels someone wrap their arms around from behind her. “Can you get me a beer?” Kelley all but purrs in Emily’s ear. 

She flags the bartender and orders both of their drinks. When she hands it back, Kelley keeps one hand on Emily’s hip as she grabs the bottle and leads her out onto the dance floor. By chance, Emily manages to make eye contact with Lindsey as they’re walking. Lindsey’s eyes widen just a bit and waggles her eyebrows suggestively. 

Kelley pulls her in, mashing her back against Emily’s front, and started to sway with the beat. Emily was frozen, unsure what to do. Just hours ago, Kelley had snapped at her and told her to basically fuck off. Now, she’s grinding and pulling Emily’s hands to her hips. She chances a look at Lindsey again and she tries to stifle a giggle. Lindsey was up against the bar, all but humping it and mouthing “go for it”. She was definitely drunk. 

Emily turns back to Kelley and made a decision. She moved her hand a bit higher and pulled Kelley closer to her, causing Kelley to lay her head back on Emily’s shoulder. They stayed that way for a while and the party just fades into the background. Kelley looks up at Emily and whispers into her neck. 

“Sorry I yelled at you.” It’s not at all what Emily expected. 

“It’s okay.” Is all she can choke out. 

“Let me make it up to you.” Kelley spins around so that they are face to face. When she does, the unexpected movement leaves Emily with her thigh slotted between Kelley’s, who begins to take full advantage. She wraps her arms around Emily’s neck and grinds harder against her thigh, making it nearly impossible for Emily to breathe. She can feel the heat building between them and Kelley’s mouth ghosting over the shell of her ear was not helping. 

Suddenly, Kelley is pulling her off the dance floor back into a corner of the bar and charges into the bathroom, locking the door behind them. “Thank god Europeans don’t believe in multi-stall bathrooms.” She says, pulling Emily back into her. 

“Kelley, what’s going on?” Emily asks, confused. 

“I thought it was obvious.” Kelley smirks. “I wanted to be alone with you.” She pressed Emily back until her hips meet the sink. 

“Why?” 

“Because I think people would notice if I kissed you in the middle of the dance floor.” 

“You don’t think they’ll notice we locked ourselves in here?” 

“Girls go to the bathroom together all the time, no one would suspect.” She leans in, her lips finding their way to Emily's neck, then moving up towards her jaw. 

“Kelley...” 

In response, Kelley pressed her lips behind Emily’s ear and hums, causing Emily to suck in her breath and Kelley smiles. “Em?” 

Emily swallows before responding. “Yeah, Kel?” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Well, why else did you bring me back here?” Emily manages a laugh. 

Without waiting another moment, Kelley crashes their lips together. In all the years of her crush, Emily had always wondered what it might be like to kiss Kelley O’Hara. No matter how much she had built it up in her mind, nothing compared to the real thing. Nothing compared to the feeling of Kelley’s hands gripping her hips, or the way her tongue pushed its way into Emily’s mouth. Classic Kelley, always in charge. As they continue, Kelley’s hands find their way under the waistband of Emily’s jeans, eliciting a strangled sound from her teammate, and Emily slid her hands under Kelley’s top. Emily wasn’t sure how long they’d been making out in the bar bathroom, but they were abruptly pulled out of their bubble when someone started banging on the door. 

“This is the only bathroom, dude!” Emily recognized Alex’s voice immediately. And by the look of panic on her face, so did Kelley. 

A look passed between them, like they were trying to come up with a plan through telepathy. Suddenly, Kelley splashed water all over Emily’s shirt, and she yelped in surprise. Kelley put a finger to her lips as she went to unlock the door. On the other side stood Alex Morgan, her arms crossed over her chest. 

“Kelley? Why the hell were you in there for so long?” And then her eyes went a little wide as she caught sight of Emily. “Sonnett? What the fuck is going on, guys?” 

“I spilled my drink all over her shirt.” Kelley says, pointing at the now wet patch on Emily’s shirt. “I offered to help clean it off.” 

Emily looked at Alex and nodded. “I think she needs to be cut off, Alex.” 

“Hey now! No need to go that far!” Kelley exasperates. 

“You have a head injury; you shouldn’t be drinking anyways.” Alex says in a motherly tone. 

“Ah, come on Al. A little party never hurt anybody!” Kelley smiles. 

“We’ll leave you to pee in peace.” Emily grabs Kelley’s hand and pulls her out of the bathroom. She can feel Alex watching them until they were out of sight. 

Once they were back at the bar, Kelley starts laughing. “Whew, close one!” She raised her hand to flag the bartender, her other hand resting on the small of Emily’s back, her thumb running up and down methodically. Emily could feel her face heat up, hopefully she came off as tired from dancing. 

Within an hour, the lights started to come back on, and the US Soccer staff started rounding up everyone to leave. They were given a few hours to sleep at the hotel before getting on the plane to New York. Emily was sharing a room with Sam, who was still in a state of perpetual disbelief, and Kelley with Rose, who was too drunk to make coherent sentences. As the group splits off to their rooms, Emily snuck a glance at Kelley, who was basically carrying Rose. Kelley winks before walking into the room, leaving Emily to deal with the way her stomach was flipping upside down. 

The next morning, the team filed on to the plane. Emily immediately sits down next to Lindsey, slumping into the seat and is halfway to falling asleep when Kelley walks down the aisle. Seeing her causes Emily to stiffen and sit up straight, eyes following Kelley all the way until she sits down next to Alex. She hadn’t spoken or texted Emily since they left the bar the night before and it was messing with her head. Had she done something wrong? Was she a bad kisser? No one had complained before... though it had been a long time since she had kissed anyone, maybe she was out of practice? Those thoughts are running through Emily’s mind for the entire seven-hour plane ride. She glances back over her shoulder occasionally, to look at Kelley, who was passed out on the floor, using her jacket as a pillow. 

When they got off the plane, Kelley still hadn’t spoken to her, or really even looked at her except for a quick smile after filling Emily’s cup to the brim with champagne. They were put on the same float for the parade, and Kelley was in full force. She even jumped off the float to get beer from the crowd before being shooed by the staffers following in the street. 

The parade was one of the coolest experience Emily had ever had. They had so much fun waving to fans, basking in the July sun and the paper confetti. She was fairly certain that she had swallowed at least a few pieces of ticker tape that fell into her cup, but she was too buzzed to notice. Before the ceremony where the players would receive their keys to the city, they were being kept in a holding room of sorts while the champagne continued to flow. 

After spending most of the day trying not to stare at her, Emily finally worked up the courage to talk to Kelley. She hovered awkwardly, not wanting to interrupt her conversation with Allie, until Kelley noticed her. 

“What’s up, Em?” She flashes that 100-watt smile and everything Emily wanted to say tumbled out of her mind. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Emily says, not meeting Kelley’s eye. 

“Sure.” And Kelley shoos Allie away, much to Allie’s disappointment, who obviously wanted to hear the gossip. “Everything okay, Em?” 

“Are we going to talk about it?” 

“Talk about what?” Kelley gives her a quizzical look and Emily is dumbfounded. 

“Kelley.” 

“Emily.” She mocks. 

“Last night?” 

“What about last night?” Kelley’s flippancy was getting on Emily’s nerves. 

“Kelley, I know you hit your head and we were all drunk, but I don’t think you forgot making out in the bathroom.” 

“I didn’t forget. I’m just not sure what there is to talk about.” She shrugs, catching Emily off guard. 

“What do you mean?” She tries to keep her voice even. 

“Em, we made out. It’s not that big a deal. I make out with a lot of people, I’m sure you have too. It doesn’t always have to mean something. Sometimes, you just want to feel good for a few minutes.” 

Emily does her best not to show how upsetting Kelley’s words were. It had meant nothing to her. Emily had finally gotten a chance to be with the girl of her dreams, and it meant nothing to Kelley. “Oh, okay. I just wanted to see where you stood, now I know.” 

She turns on her heel, searching the room for Lindsey and trying to keep the tears from bursting out. Before she can get away, she feels Kelley’s hand on her shoulder. 

“Don’t tell anyone what happened last night, please. Alex is already mad at me for drinking too much and I don’t want to re-hash this argument.” 

All Emily can do is give a tight-lipped nod before walking away. She finds Lindsey in conversation with Mal, but it doesn’t stop her from grabbed her best friend’s hand and pulling her out of the room. 

“Son, what the hell? What’s going on? What–” But then Lindsey sees Emily’s face and stops talking. She immediately wraps Emily in her arms and Emily cries. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! There’s a lot of drama here but stick with me for the eventual happiness!


	2. When It Isn't Like It Should Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How dare you?"
> 
> __  
> Title is Saves The Day

Lindsey doesn’t pry at first. She leads Emily to a bathroom down the hall. She takes a paper towel and dabs her friend’s face, trying to fix her makeup. Emily doesn’t usually wear that much makeup, oftentimes none at all. But this morning, while they had a chance to shower and change clothes for the parade, Emily had applied some mascara. Not that you would see it, behind her sunglasses, but she felt like she wanted to look a little put together. No matter how many times she told herself that it wasn’t because Kelley might notice, she never believed it. Now she had little streaks of black under her eyes. Lindsey cleans her up and fixes her hair. But Emily should have known that her best friend wouldn’t let her off that easy. 

“Son, what happened?” She asks, concern in her voice. 

“Linds, I can’t.” 

“Can’t what? Son, you know you can tell me anything.” 

“I can’t be around her.” 

“Who?” 

“You know who.” Emily says flatly. 

“Kelley? It looked like you guys were getting on really well last night. What happened? Did she pressure you? I swear to god I’ll kill her.” Lindsey makes to head back toward the conference room, but Emily grabs her. 

“I was a willing participant, Linds. Very willing, in fact.” 

“Then I don’t understand. Why are you so upset?” 

“It didn’t mean anything to her. She didn’t care.” Emily had to work really hard to keep the tears from springing up again. Not after Lindsey had just cleaned her up. 

“Then why did it happen?” 

“Because ‘it doesn’t always have to mean something. Sometimes you just want to feel good.’” Emily parrots Kelley’s words back to her. “She doesn’t feel the same way. She doesn’t feel anything toward me.” 

“Oh, Sonny.” Lindsey wraps her best friend in one of her patented Great Horan hugs. “I’m so sorry. Did you guys...” She’s not sure if she should bring it up. 

“We didn’t have sex, just kissing. Though we were interrupted so who knows how long it would have gone on otherwise.” 

Lindsey's eyes go wide. “Interrupted? By who?” 

“Alex.” Emily stares down at her feet. 

“What? What did she say?” 

“Kelley lied and said she was cleaning up a drink she spilled on me.” 

“Well, if she didn’t care, why did she lie?” 

This thought hadn’t really crossed Emily’s mind. “She said that she didn’t want to ‘re-hash that argument’. Whatever that means.” 

“I’m sorry, Son. At least now you know.” 

*** 

Kelley was an asshole. She knows it, she deserves it. She knew that what she said to Emily was cruel and uncalled for. Emily may be the sweetest and most gentle person Kelley has ever met. She hides behind her humor sometimes, but Kelley can see it. 

Not too many people thought to text Kelley on the anniversary of her injury, and those that did sent her uplifting messages and congratulations that she was back on the field. When Emily had texted, her message was " _It_ _’s okay to be sad today. Or to not know how to feel.”_ Somehow, Emily had understood exactly what Kelley was feeling. She knew without having experienced something similar and without asking about it. She just knew. The way that Kelley’s heart soared when she read the message scared her. She hadn’t been with someone in a very long time and hadn’t been in a relationship in even longer. There had been some hook-ups every now and then, in Atlanta and Salt Lake and Kelley hated herself afterwards every single time. She hated that every time she fell into bed with someone, it was never the person she wanted. She made a point to never bring home a blonde or someone with blue eyes, and she hated herself because of it. 

Kelley had been enamored with Emily Sonnett since the first time they met at Emily’s first national team camp. This girl was a ball of energy and could make anyone laugh, even Carli. She had gravitated toward Emily and her friends noticed. She remembered an instance during that particular camp when Alex had asked her to lunch, and Kelley had politely declined in favor of doing something with Emily. 

“Corrupting the youth, Kel?” Alex had joked. 

“I have to do my part, you know.” Kelley countered. 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.” Alex nodded. 

“What does that mean?” 

“Nothing. I guess it’s good she’s not jail-bait.” And Kelley doesn’t know how to respond to that. Her jaw hangs open as Alex shrugged and walked off the field. 

Kelley thought about training with Emily back home in Atlanta during the off-season. About how they had spent almost every day together and Kelley reveled in it. She had learned so much about Emily during that time. About how she loved to cook and was really good at it. About how terrified she’d been to be the first overall pick in the draft and the pressure to perform in her first season. About how much she wanted a dog but didn’t want to be a neglectful parent by being gone all the time. She introduced Kelley to some of her favorite music. Well, the correct word might actually be _forced_ , but Kelley soaked it all in. 

Kelley was kind of a bitch. This girl, this beautiful girl, was hurting because of what Kelley had said. She tells herself it’s better off this way. That she couldn’t risk ruining the team chemistry or their friendship. But that was bullshit and she knew it. In about 30 seconds, Kelley had torn apart a five-year relationship. She knew that Emily wouldn’t ever look at her the same, like she had hung the moon, and that broke her heart. 

She thought back to the previous day. She didn’t remember the actual hit, a symptom of her concussion, but she did remember Emily trying to dote on her on the bench. And Kelley had bitten her head off for it. She couldn’t really explain why, and she wanted to apologize as soon as she said it, but the wounded look on Emily’s face was too much. 

She thought about how she probably had too much to drink the previous night, but she remembered every moment so clearly. She remembered dancing with Emily, who had at first seemed very timid, uncomfortable. This was, of course, not what Kelley wanted. Just as she was about to back off when Emily wrapped her arm around Kelley’s waist, drawing her closer. 

She thought about the split-second decision she had made to pull Emily into the bathroom. About how it had felt to kiss her for the first time. About how Emily’s hands had gripped her hips, slowly grinding them together. And then she thought about what might have happened if Alex hadn’t stopped them. A part of her was grateful it happened, she didn’t think she would have been able to stop herself otherwise and this was not how she wanted it to happen. Not that she thought about it, about Emily underneath her, about Emily in her bed. 

She thought about how she had been avoiding Emily ever since. Ignoring her gaze on the plane. She could feel Emily’s eyes boring into her skull without even having to look up. Some higher power had interfered though, putting them on the same parade float. She played up just how drunk she was, as if to explain her behavior away. 

When Emily had confronted her about it, Kelley didn’t know what to do. A part of her wanted to kiss this beautiful woman in front of her while everyone watched. The other part of her was terrified of confronting feelings she had been pushing down for nearly five years. And what came out was more brutal than she had ever meant. The worst part was making Emily think she was something that had to be hidden away. She watched Emily race over to Lindsey, pulling the two of them out of the room. 

Kelley was a coward. She stared at the door that Emily had just run out of, trying to build up the courage to follow her. But instead she grabbed a bottle of champagne by the neck and started drinking. She saw the two of them return to the room about 10 minutes later. Emily’s face was a little puffy, like she had been crying. Before she had been able to tear her gaze away, Kelley catches Lindsey’s eyes, full of anger. Kelley immediately busies herself, pouring glass after glass of alcohol for her teammates. 

After the ceremony in New York, the team were herded back onto the plane to Los Angeles. As much as Kelley wished she could skip it, she knew better. This time on the plane, it’s her staring at the back of Emily’s head for hours. It takes a fairly forceful nudge from Alex to pull her out of it. 

“What are you staring at, Worms?” 

“Huh? Oh, nothing. Must have zoned out.” Kelley lies. 

“Zoning out and staring at Sonnett’s hair? Kel, that’s weird.” 

“I wasn’t staring at Sonnett.” 

“Okay, sure.” Alex says sarcastically. “Whatever you say.” 

“What does that mean?” Kelley asks accusingly. 

“Kel, did you really think I’d believe your story last night? ‘I spilled my drink on her’ is a terrible lie.” She knew, of course she knew. Alex and Kelley had been friends for over ten years now, there was nothing they could hide from each other. “You and Sonnett were hooking up, it was pretty obvious.” 

“Alex! Don’t go broadcasting it!” Kelley whisper-yells. 

“Why? Are you ashamed? You’ve always had a thing for her. I thought this was a good thing.” 

“I don’t have a _thing_ for her, Al.” 

“Since when? The two of you have been trading heart-eyes for years.” 

“That’s not true, Alex.” 

“Well, she definitely has a _thing_ for you, Kel. Was it not good? She a bad kisser?” 

“No!” Kelley exclaimed before she could stop herself. “It was fun, that’s all. Nothing more than that.” 

“What? Isn’t this what you wanted, Kel?” 

“Why would you think that?” 

“Kelley Maureen O’Hara cut the shit. You like her, I know you do.” 

“I don’t.” It comes out almost like a question. 

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” And Kelley doesn’t have a response. 

*** 

The whirlwind week for the team finally ended and the players dispersed back to their homes. They would come back together in about a month to start the victory tour. Emily went straight back to Portland, while Kelley remained in Atlanta for a few days, catching up with her family. They had hardly spoken to each other since that day in New York. Lindsey had barely left Emily’s side since that day, acting as a buffer. Even in Portland, she spent almost every moment in close proximity to her best friend. 

Emily tried to pretend that she was getting over it, that she was moving on, but she wasn’t very good at it. She spent way too much time wondering about what had happened. Why had Kelley picked that moment to kiss her? Why did she pick her? Why not make out with someone else if it meant nothing? Every night, Emily lays awake, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the scene in her head, trying to pick out clues. And every night, she comes up empty. 

Soon enough, it was the first Royals v. Thorns game since the World Cup. Kelley and Emily lined up on opposite sides of the field and the game began. Both being defenders, they don’t usually have too much interaction during the run of play. Every so often, sure, but not enough for either of them to think about it too much. After the game, both teams shake hands and some chat for a few minutes. Christen and Tobin, of course, wander off to another corner of the field, and Becky jokes around with Kling. But Kelley talks to no one, instead she decides to head back to the locker room. Before she can escape through the tunnel, someone grabs her upper arm, hard. She spins around to see Lindsey, her nostrils flared. 

“You don’t get to be the one that slinks away.” She says. 

“What the hell, Horan? Let go of me.” 

“How dare you, Kelley? How dare you do that to her.” 

“What are you talking about?” Kelley knows exactly what Lindsey is talking about. 

“You hurt her. Really hurt her.” 

“Hurt who?” 

“Quit playing dumb!” Lindsey yells, catching the attention of some lingering spectators. “You know what you did, Kelley. Stay away from her, I mean it.” And with that, Lindsey releases Kelley’s arm and leaves. 

Kelley runs through the tunnel, tears streaming down her face. 

*** 

Emily wished she didn’t find herself settling on the couch to watch the Royals play, but she did. She wished she didn’t spend the entirety of the game following #5 around the pitch, but she did. She watches Kelley’s commanding presence and admires her leadership. She sees Kelley smile about something Becky had said, and Emily feels her heart do a back-flip. Even after what happened, everything Kelley does makes it harder for Emily to believe she didn’t still care for the bouncy brunette. 

In Salt Lake, Kelley laid on her bed, laptop resting on her lap. She tells herself she watching the Thorns play because she wants to get the scoop on a rival, but it’s a lie. She tries her best but can’t stop herself from focusing on #16 and how she moved across the field. She watches Emily give Caitlin her signature thumbs up and it makes Kelley smile. She reaches for her phone without thinking and begins to type a message. She gets halfway through before it hits her again, she and Emily aren’t speaking. She and Emily weren’t speaking, and it was all her fault. 

*** 

Soon enough, it’s time to board the plane to California for the start to the victory tour. Kelley had seriously thought about road-tripping it from Salt Lake with Becky, or maybe even by herself, but she knew there was no way she’d be allowed. 

Emily had to convince Lindsey three times that morning that she was going to be fine. 

“Son, you guys haven’t seen or talked to each other in almost two months.” 

“Yes, Lindsey, I’m aware.” Emily smiled. 

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” 

“Sure? Heck no. But I want to be okay, I’m going to do my best.” Emily took a deep breath. 

“I hate her.” 

“Don’t hate her, Linds.” 

“Well, someone has to.” Lindsey huffs, which makes Emily chuckle. “Seriously, Son, how are you so okay with this right now?” 

“’Cause I have to be. We’re co-workers, we have to be around each other. I don’t plan on leaving the national team for a while and Kelley’s not going anywhere either. We just have to figure it out.” 

“Yeah, that and you’re still totally in love with her.” Lindsey comments offhandedly and Emily doesn’t correct her. 

The vans were lined up outside of the airport to transport the players. Kelley was in the middle of a conversation with Becky and Christen about a new Netflix show when Christen’s eyes got big and she raced off. Kelley knew her reaction could only mean one thing. The Portland crew had arrived. She turned around and, without even trying, spotted a blonde bun. Emily was laughing at something Lindsey had said as they were walking toward the rest of the group. It was a sound Kelley hadn’t heard in so long, a sound she hadn’t realized she missed. 

“Hey, Kel! What's new?” Tobin wraps her in a hug., Tobin gives the best hugs. 

“Same old, same old, Tob.” 

“You sure? You look a little down.” 

“I’m fine.” She doesn’t press, she never does. Instead, she turns back to Christen. 

Kelley watched Emily interact with the other members of the team as they waited for some of the late arrivals. She and Rose tackled each other to the ground, with Mal jumping on top them WWE-style. Sam just watched, shaking her head. Suddenly, Lindsey makes eye contact, shooting daggers, and Kelley stumbles over her bag. Luckily, before she face-planted, Alex catches her. 

“Whoa there, Kel. I hope you’re more graceful on the field tomorrow.” 

“No promises.” 

They all pile into the vans and head on to the hotel. Emily sat next Lindsey, resting her head on her best friend’s shoulder. She listens along as Rose recounts running through the airport to try and catch her flight. 

“This crazy lady was walking in the middle of the moving sidewalk, I almost tried to jump over her. Can you believe?” 

“That you could hurdle over a grown woman, no I don’t.” Sam laughs. 

“Don’t listen to her, Rosie. I have complete faith in you.” Emily says indignantly. 

“You are a true friend, Sonny.” 

Emily feels a nudge in her side and sees Lindsey looking at her, concern across her face. “How did you feel, seeing her?” 

“A little sad, a little confused. You don’t want to hear it, Linds, but I felt a little happy too. Happy to see her.” Emily lets out a sigh. 

“Son, I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. If Kelley makes you happy, then go for it. But if she doesn’t feel the same...” 

“I know, Linds. I know.” 

When the team arrives at the hotel, Jill is there and handing out room keys. Kelley with Allie and Emily with Alex, in adjoining rooms. When they arrive, Emily plops down on the bed, face first. Alex drops her bag and immediately opens the door that connects to both rooms, getting into an argument about whether the word Allie had just played in Scrabble Go was an actual word. Emily could hear Kelley’s input every so often, her tone indicating she wasn’t paying that close attention. At some point, Emily must have dozed off, only waking up when Alex closed the door. 

“Oh, sorry Son. Didn’t know you were asleep.” 

“S’okay.” Emily says, still groggy from sleep. 

Alex started unpacking her bag, something Emily probably should do, but she just laid back on the pillows. Right as her eyes started to close, she feels a dip in the bed. Alex had perched herself on the edge. 

“So, what’s up with you and Kelley?” 

Emily bolts upright. “What? Nothing is going on between me and Kelley.” 

“I know, that’s what I mean. Normally, you two are joined at the hip as soon as you see each other.” 

“No, we’re not.” 

“Whatever you say, Son. Is this because you two hooked up?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is everyone holding up? I hope you enjoy this bit of escapism. Stay safe!


	3. The Truth Doesn't Make a Noise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't want to talk about it."
> 
> __  
> Title is The White Stripes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to do my best to follow what happened in real life (timeline-wise) but I reserve the right to make changes as we continue on.

_“Is this because you two hooked up?”_

Emily could have fainted. “Y-You know about that?” 

“You two weren’t exactly subtle about it. I don’t understand why you two are avoiding each other.” 

“I think you need to ask Kelley about that.” 

“I tried, she got all prickly and flustered.” 

Kelley was flustered. Emily thought to herself. Kelley, who had made it seem like Emily was crazy for asking about what had happened between them, was flustered? Kelley, who never beats around the bush and always tells the truth, was lying? 

“What do you mean, Al?” Emily turned on her side to face her roommate but was met by Alex’s snores. She had passed out in the middle of her story, a truly crucial part of her story. Emily flopped onto her back and sighed. She thought about texting Kelley. She thought about walking into her room next door and just jumping her, hopefully Allie would get the hint and they’d have space to themselves. But she couldn’t bring herself to buck up the courage to do any of those things. So, she went to bed. 

She went to bed but sleep never came. She laid on her side, listening to Alex’s deep breathing. She thought back to a few years ago, when she had visited Kelley in New Jersey. They had gone to the shore one night and just sat in the sand, just watching the boats passing by. Emily had always felt like she and Kelley were like ships in the night, always near one another, but never crashing into each other. Kelley had taught her how to surf that trip too or _tried_ to teach her. For a professional athlete, Emily had terrible hand-eye coordination. She could never stay on the board long enough to actually catch a wave, let alone ride it into shore. Kelley cackled every time, throwing her head back, hair falling into the water. Emily would have made a fool out of herself every day if it meant seeing Kelley react like that. When she was on the water, Kelley was at her best. She knew it and Emily knew it. She was uninhibited and joyous in a way that was markedly different than the Kelley that was always on display for the world. Her eyes got brighter, her smile bigger, and she was softer. Softer with Emily, softer when she was trying to explain “goofy” style, and softer when she sat on the beach that night. When the conversation drifted away from whatever they had been talking about, they fell into a comfortable silence and Kelley rested her head on Emily’s shoulder, knees pulled up to her chest, and they sat that way for a while. As the night wore on and the temperatures dropped, Emily snaked her arm around Kelley’s waist, pulling her in close. She had felt so sure that Kelley was going to kiss her that night, that it would finally happen, but it never came. It was a small condolence that the next morning, Kelley had wrapped herself around Emily in their sleep, pressing her nose into Emily’s neck. 

The next morning, Kelley felt like a zombie. She hadn’t slept a wink, too busy thinking about what was happening in the room next door. She was pretty sure she could trust Alex not to spill anything to Emily, that she wouldn’t blow Kelley’s cover, but she still spent the entire night staring up at the ceiling and listening for any voices in the next room. Even after hours of silence, Kelley was so wrapped up in her head, sleep was never going to come. 

She spent the night thinking about spending New Year’s Eve with Emily earlier in the year. They didn’t spend it out at some party getting wasted, or on the couch watching the ball drop in their PJs. Instead, Emily had dragged her to what she called “an iconic piece of Americana”. 

“It’s a restaurant, Em. Why are you making such a big deal?” 

“Kelley. Waffle House is not ‘just a restaurant’. It’s a lifestyle, it’s a religion. I cannot, for the life of me, understand how you grew up in Georgia and have never been to a Waffle House.” 

“I don’t really like breakfast food.” 

“Sacrilege.” Emily shakes her head in disbelief. 

“It’s almost midnight on New Year’s Eve. They’re not going to be open.” 

Emily scoffs. “Oh, sweet, sweet, Kelley. Waffle House never closes. 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. It’s the one constant in my life, always there for me.” Kelley rolls her eyes. 

Emily held the door open as Kelley walked inside. She wasn’t sure what to expect, this being Emily’s favorite restaurant, or maybe her favorite place in the entire world, but Kelley was so happy that she wanted to share it. The restaurant was small and a little dingey, but, at the same time, warm and inviting. The open kitchen made it so you could see what was being made. 

“Booth or counter?” The waitress asks. 

“Booth, please.” Emily answers for both of them. 

The two of them slide into the booth, Emily giggling at the site of Kelley’s wandering eyes, taking in everything. The menu was placed down in front of them, but Emily took the lead. 

“I’m ordering for you.” She said, ignoring Kelley’s protest. “If I let you order for yourself, you’d find the one semi-healthy thing on the menu.” This makes Kelley’s eye drop back to the menu, looking for anything green. 

“There’s nothing healthy on this menu, Em.” 

“Exactly.” She flags the waitress. “I’ll have a double waffle with peanut butter chips, and she’ll have the All-Star Special, scrambled, bacon, with her hash browns capped and diced, and chocolate chips in her waffle.” Emily smiles from across the table. 

Once the waitress walked away, Kelley questions the ordering. “What the heck did you order me? What is ‘capped and diced’? I do appreciate chocolate chips but hash-browns _and_ a waffle?” 

“Oh, Kel. The All-Star Special is eggs, meat, hash browns, _and_ a waffle. Capped and diced means mushrooms and tomatoes.” She giggles. 

“I can’t eat all that!” Kelley exclaims. 

“I’ll help you, don’t worry.” 

A few minutes later, the food was brought to the table and they dig in. Kelley was delightfully surprised by how good the food was, especially since Emily had known well enough to somehow get veggies on the plate. She even swatted Emily’s fork away when she tried to steal a bite. They sat there for the next hour, talking and joking with each other. The time slipped away from them and it wasn’t until they walked outside did Kelley check her watch. She loved the fact that being with Emily made her not care about the passage of time. 

“Em! We missed midnight!” She smiles. 

“Happy New Year, Kel.” In that moment, Kelley was almost positive Emily was going to kiss her. The tired smirk playing across her face gave it away, or so she thought. Emily didn’t lean in for a kiss, but she did hold Kelley’s hand in the car as they drove, which would do for now. It might have been the best New Year’s Eve Kelley had ever had, and she had done some wild things in the past. 

*** 

Game day. Emily had never visited the Rose Bowl before today. The hallowed hall of sports loomed before her as they warmed up for the game. As to be expected, Emily would not be starting. She watched from the sideline as the game began, watching Tobin score her goal. She had been robbed of both her goals in the World Cup, so it was extra special to see. She watched Kelley’s every move, her eyes following around the field, following right up until the Irish player slid into Kelley’s ankle. She didn’t fall, just kind of hopped out of it, but Emily could tell she was in pain. The way her face twisted as she stepped gingerly back onto the field, the way her eyes were darting around nervously. 

At halftime, Emily feels like she’s experiencing déjà vu. She watched Kelley be escorted to the training room during Jill’s speech. As the players are called back onto the field, Jill pulls Emily aside, telling her she would be subbed for Kelley. 

“Is she alright?” Emily asks, worriedly. 

“It’s her ankle, trainer said she needs rest. She’s showering now and will come back out soon.” 

Emily did her best not to worry on the field. She didn’t see when Kelley came back to the bench, but as the game was ending, she chanced a look. She saw Kelley, sitting on the end of the bench, arms crossed over her chest, not talking to anyone, an ice bag taped to her ankle. Just like how she shows affection with touch, Kelley’s body language speaks volumes when she’s upset. She closes herself off physically and mentally, not wanting to speak to anyone. 

After the game and after an hour of signing autographs, the team piled onto the bus. Emily sat next to Lindsey, who was buzzing after her goal. Lindsey had been upset about not playing in the World Cup final, so her getting an opportunity to shine was important, and Emily had no problem fawning over her best friend. Just as the bus was pulling into the hotel, Emily felt her phone vibrate. 

**_Kelley:_** _Hang out tonight?_ _Your room?_

It was the first time they had talked in nearly two months, and Kelley was initiating. 

**_Emily_ ** _:_ _you, me, and alex_

**_Emily_ ** _: it’s a party_

**_Kelley_ ** _: Alex is staying at her house tonight_ _, same with Allie_

And just like that, the air felt charged. Emily felt the tips of her ears burning, she could feel Kelley’s eyes on her from a few rows back. Alex wasn’t going to be in the room tonight, Emily would be by herself. Or would she? 

**_Emily_ ** _: come by whenever, neighbor_

Kelley sent back the kissy face emoji and Emily felt her face get hot. She needed to get off this bus, away from Lindsey’s prying eye, she would definitely notice how red Emily was getting. She feigned exhaustion and raced back to her hotel room, flopping down onto her bed. A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door that joined the two rooms. When she opened it, Kelley stood on the other side, her messy, auburn hair framing her face, framing her soft smile. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey, Kel.” Emily returned the smile, gesturing inside. 

As soon as the door closed, Kelley’s lips were on hers. It felt just as amazing as the last time, but Emily was confused. Just as Kelley was working to push her tongue into her mouth, Emily pulled back, breathing heavily. Kelley’s eyes were dark and fiery, a look of lust across her face. 

“Kel, we can’t.” 

“Yes, we can.” Kelley grabs Emily’s hips. 

“Can we talk about this first?” 

“Em, I don’t want to talk. There will plenty of time to talk when I’m riding the bench for the rest of the year.” And then Emily got it. 

“Your ankle?” 

“I said I don’t want to talk about it. I’m going back to my room.” She stomps away, but Emily grabs her hand, spinning her around. Emily made a split decision. Kelley wanted her, at least right now she did. Emily knew she shouldn’t, but the thought of being with her was intoxicating. She knew Kelley was hurting and was willing to do anything to help, to be the one to make it stop. 

“We don’t have to talk, Kel. Let me make you feel better.” 

The classic Kelley smirk brightens her face back up. She connects their lips again, wrapping her arms around Emily’s neck. Emily’s hands gripped her hips, walking her back until the backs of Kelley’s knees hit the bed. She lifts her hands as Emily slides her sweatshirt off, exposing a topless Kelley. Emily had to bite her lip as she took in the sight before her. 

“You were sure you were going to get lucky tonight, huh?” Emily giggles. 

“I hoped.” Kelley said, pressing their bodies together, her mouth on Emily’s neck, teeth nipping at her jaw. “Your turn.” She says, hooking her fingers around the hem of Emily shirt. 

The two of them fell back onto the bed, Emily on top and straddling her older teammate. She leans down and kisses her, Kelley’s tongue battling for control. She’s impatient, sliding her hand down in between Emily’s legs, making her gasp. 

“Fuck.” Emily breathes out into Kelley’s neck. 

“I’m trying to.” Kelley chuckles. 

“I’m supposed to be making _you_ feel good.” 

“Well, get to it, Blondie.” 

The way their bodies moved together; it was like finally finding two puzzles pieces that fit perfectly. Emily was gentle, giving Kelley whatever she wanted, and even some things she didn’t think to ask for. Kelley took charge, just like in every other aspect of her life, anticipating Emily’s needs and eliciting sounds Emily herself didn’t know she was capable of making. Afterwards, Kelley collapses on the bed next to Emily, stroking her upper thigh. 

“Well, that was fun.” She says in a sing-song voice. Emily was still panting, looking into Kelley’s eyes, at the rings of green mixed in the brown. “Did you enjoy yourself?” She nudges Emily, using her chin on shoulder. 

“Loved it, love you...” she says, breathlessly, before realizing exactly what she’d said. 

Kelley sits bolt upright, her eyes wide. “Jesus, Emily.” She snaps. 

Emily cocks her head, confused and exhausted. 

“Why’d you have to go and ruin it?” Kelley exasperates, grabbing her sweatshirt and walking back to her room. She slammed the door, leaving Emily alone, again. 

In the next room, Kelley pulled her sweatshirt and shorts back on. She couldn’t stay in this room, she didn’t trust herself not to burst back, apologize profusely to Emily and tell her that she felt the same. She slipped out the door and down the hallway. She wasn’t even really sure where she was going, just that she couldn’t stay there. 

So, she left. She left the hotel and walked. It had to be past midnight already, but Kelley was wide awake. Her thoughts raced around her mind, thoughts about Emily and how horribly she had treated her. Emily had done nothing but support Kelley through all the ups and downs of the past few years. Separated or close together, she had always been there with a smile on her face. Even when Kelley was at her absolute worst, she couldn’t scare her away. Not that she tried, but when Kelley was upset, she had trouble holding back her razor tongue. She had said some awful things to Alex over the years, but Alex always challenges her right back, usually resulting in a fight. But Emily would just sit there and let Kelley yell. She was pretty certain she loved Emily, so why couldn’t she just admit it? Why couldn’t she let Emily in? 

She thought back to college, when she was still coming to terms with her sexuality. She wasn’t ashamed to be gay; she had just been so apprehensive of what it would mean for her life moving forward. She had always thought her life would follow a certain pattern. She would graduate college and get a “real job” as her grandmother would say. She would marry a wonderful man and have beautiful children and live happily ever after. Once she realized she wasn’t going to be following that path, she felt adrift. She didn’t know how to articulate it, so she never told anyone about how she felt, not even her teammates. She had pushed those thoughts and feelings down so far that, for a while, she hoped they would just go away. Of course, that didn’t work. In the years after graduating, when she first started playing professionally, there were hookups every now and then, but never anything serious. 

She thought about Hope, the first woman she’d ever had real, deep feelings about. Turns out Hope didn’t exactly feel the same way. They had been hot and heavy for a while, but then Hope decided she had “outgrown” the relationship, that it was a phase. Kelley had been absolutely devastated when they broke up after the World Cup. She barely left her apartment for over a month. Going back to Sky Blue was a welcome change, being on opposite coasts. 

Enter Emily Sonnett. She came bounding into Kelley’s life when she was at her absolute lowest. And she made Kelley smile, made her laugh. As happy as she felt, she was terrified of letting someone in, terrified of being hurt. Kelley puts out a tough exterior, especially on the field, but inside, she often still felt like that 19-year-old girl who had no idea how to come to terms with who she was. In college, she had been okay with being a sorority girl’s drunken mistake, but after Hope left her, the idea of not being enough, of being kept in the shadows, paralyzed her. 

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been walking or how far, but the sun was starting to peak out on the horizon. She would have to get back soon for check out and the shuttles to the airport, so she turned around and headed back toward the hotel. When she returned to her room, the adjoining door was open. She poked her head, to see if Emily was there. The beds had already been made and all her luggage had been cleared out. She was gone. Kelley turned back to her own things and notice something had been left on her bed. A small, package with bright paper wrapping. She peeled back the paper and found a velvet box containing a dainty gold chain with a small diamond pendent. Inside the box was a handwritten note. 

_s_ _aw this and thought of you._ _happy_ _birthday_ _kel!_ _l_ _ove_ _always_ _,_ _em_

Kelley sat down on the bed and covered her mouth with her hand, trying not to cry. She had nearly forgotten her own birthday, what with the game, her shitty ankle, and Emily. This gift though, was too much. She couldn’t accept, not with the way she had just treated Emily. She closed the box and slid it into her bag. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are enjoying! Please let me know if you have any suggestions, etc. I love reading your comments! Hope everyone is doing well!


	4. The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Very James Bond of you."
> 
> \--  
> Title is Brand New

Once Emily sat down on the plane back to Portland, she closed her eyes. Closed her eyes and though about what had happened the night before. She didn’t regret what they’d done, and she was pretty sure Kelley didn’t either. Whatever was going on with her, it wasn’t all about Emily. She just wished they could talk about it, like they used to talk. When they first became friends, Emily had confided in Kelley all the time about life, love, and anything in between. She wasn’t sure when they’d stopped, but it was different now. Kelley puts out this boisterous persona, but Emily knew she was hiding something behind it. 

About a week before going back to camp, Emily had been running errands downtown. As she popped out of the coffee shop and walked down the street, something caught her eye in next shop. The store was an artist’s studio/gallery. There were a few paintings for sale, but the shop was mostly full of handmade jewelry. There were earrings, bracelets, and rings. But what caught Emily’s eye was a thin, gold chain with a tiny diamond pendent. It was small, but bold, just like Kelley. Emily pointed to the necklace, asking the artist to wrap it up. Kelley’s birthday was in a few days, it was perfect. 

She had always planned to give it to her before they left the hotel, but she had hoped to be there, to see Kelley’s face when she opened it. But Kelley needed space, Emily knew. She didn’t know exactly what was going through Kelley’s mind, but she knew that trying to pry would only make it worse. She would be there when Kelley came back, and then, maybe, she wouldn’t leave again. 

*** 

Three weeks separated the first camp to the second. In the meantime, Emily has returned to the Thorns and was back to having the time of her life. Back to hanging with her friends and her normal life. She knew that as much as Lindsey wanted to be supportive, she couldn’t stand the way Emily had been treated. And Emily was grateful for that, so much so that she couldn’t bring herself to tell Lindsey about what had happened in California. She knew that her best friend would jump on the next plane or Utah, or Georgia, or wherever Kelley was, and try to beat her up. Even though she was The Great Horan, soccer bulldozer, Emily would bet Kelley could take her. 

So, she pretended nothing happened, which for a while, wasn’t even that hard. She was so busy with training and games, she barely had time to miss Kelley, to wonder what she was doing at that exact moment, to wonder if Kelley ever thought about her. 

It worked up until the plane touched down in Minnesota. It was only then that she realized she’d have to see her again, to act like nothing happened. Lindsey somehow sensed her nervousness and wrapped her arm around and squeezed. 

“You good, Son?” 

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. Just ready to get off.” She fiddled with the bill of her hat. 

As they make their way through the airport to baggage claim, Emily’s eyes fell on a thin, muscular frame standing at the carousel. Her back was turned, but Emily would know those shoulders (and that butt) from anywhere. She took a deep breath before walking over. 

When Kelley saw her, it was all she could do not to tackle her into a hug. A few months ago, that’s exactly what she would’ve done, but now it didn’t feel appropriate. So, she waited until the rest of the Portland crew arrived and hugs were exchanged all around. Well, except for Tobin and Christen, who pretended to “go to the restroom”. 

“Y’all better wash your hands!” Kelley calls after them and Tobin flips her the bird. 

As the team begins to file into the vans, they make meaningful eye contact for the first time. It wasn’t easy with Emily hiding under her hat, but Kelley saw the smile poking out. Lindsey pulled Emily into the car, while Kelley climbed in the next one with Alex. 

“Are you and Sonny ever going back to normal?” Alex sighs as they begin unpacking in their hotel room. 

“I don’t know.” Kelley says, admitting it out loud for the first time. 

“What is going on with you two?” Alex is getting really good at that “motherly” tone. 

“We had sex.” Alex dropped the shoes she was carrying. 

“Well, finally!” 

Kelley looked at her in disbelief. “What?” 

“Kel, everyone has been waiting for the day you two crazy kids realized you’re made for each other! Whose Sonny rooming with, do you want to switch? That way the love birds can be together. I’ve got to tell Allie!” 

Alex is already halfway out the door when Kelley yells. “Alex! Stop! We’re not together.” 

She closes the door quietly. “I’m sorry, what?” 

“We’re not together, it was a one-time thing.” Kelley can’t meet her best friend’s eye. 

“A one-time thing? Kelley you’re 31 years old, start acting like it.” 

“What do you want me to say?” Kelley sits down on the edge of her bed. 

“It’s not what I want, Kel. It’s what _you_ want. Do you really want what happened with you two to be a one-time thing?” 

Kelley could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes. “I don’t know.” 

“You need to talk to her.” 

A few hours later, after dinner, Kelley had finally found some courage. Alex had told her that she was going to hang out with Allie and Tobin down the hall. She was sure to give Kelley a pointed look that said _I’m giving you this time, don’t scre_ _w it up._

**_Kelley:_ ** _Can you come by my room sometime soon?_

**_Em_** ** _ily_ ** _: everything ok?_

**_Kelley_ ** _: Just whenever you’re free_

Not three minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door. When Kelley opened it, Emily was standing on the other side, a little out of breath. 

“Did you run here?” Kelley asks. 

“You were being super cryptic, is everything okay?” Kelley felt her stomach sink at those words, and she couldn’t look Emily in the eye. Because no, everything was not okay. She had planned to confess her feelings to Emily, but suddenly, there she was, and Kelley was petrified. There she was, with her freckles close enough to count. She opens the door and ushers Emily inside. She runs her hands through her blonde hair, obviously a little nervous. “Seriously, Kelley, what’s wrong?” 

“We can’t do this anymore.” Kelley declares. 

“Do what?” 

“This.” Kelley gestures between the two of them. “Us.” 

“What? We can’t be friends anymore?” Emily’s tone was a little colder than when she’d first walked in. 

“We can’t keep doing what we’ve been doing.” She can’t look at Emily when she says it, knowing the tears building behind her eyes would give her away. 

Emily stands, bitterness in her voice, something Kelley doesn’t think she’s ever heard. “And what are we doing, Kel?” 

“Em...” 

“No, tell me. Tell me what it is you’re so afraid of!” Emily couldn’t hold herself back anymore. She wanted so badly to be with Kelley, but she wasn’t going to let her off the hook for what she had done. She grabbed Kelley’s hands and shook her. 

“YOU!” Kelley yells, which takes Emily by surprise. 

“Me? Kel, I’m, like, the least scary person in the world. Rose is more intimidating than me.” Her voice is softer now, soothing even. 

“You. Me. Us. It all scares me.” Kelley is looking everywhere but at Emily, who sat down on the bed, pulling Kelley with her, their hands still intertwined. Even with her tight grip, Emily could feel her shaking. 

“Just talk to me. We used to be able to talk to each other.” She ducks her head to try and meet Kelley’s eyes, which were staring down at the floor. 

Kelley finally looked up at her. Those blue eyes were soft but piercing at the same time. Her mouth ticked up just a hair on one side, a hint of a smile. She let go of one of Kelley’s hands, reaching around to rub circles into her back. It was methodical, hypnotizing even. Kelley felt her body begin to relax. “I’m sorry.” Is all she can muster at first. She takes a deep breath and tries again. “I’m sorry I told you it didn’t mean anything, that was a lie.” she can hear Emily suck in a short breath. 

“Yeah?” Emily voice was quiet, tentative. 

“It definitely meant something. I just...” Kelley abruptly falls backward on the bed. “Did you know Hope and I dated?” She stares up at the ceiling. 

Emily didn’t know. But Hope was on her way out when Emily had started playing regularly for the National Team. Then the Olympics happened, and she was gone. So, they hadn’t ever spent much time together. She tried to think back three years, wracking her brain for memories of the two of them, but nothing comes. 

“No, I didn’t.” 

“Exactly. No one knows. Except Alex. And now you, I guess.” 

“I don’t understand, Kel.” Emily turned so she was facing Kelley, who was still staring up at the ceiling. 

“She didn’t want anyone to know. She wanted to keep it just between us. At first, I thought it was fun, sexy even. All the sneaking around, stolen moments, and spending days on end inside. I was really young, and she was interested in being around me. It started after the 2012 Olympics. First it was friendship, she would dote on me, take me under her wing. She made me feel special in a time where I felt like anything but.” 

“Kelley, you were like what, 23? And playing in the Olympics, it doesn’t get more special than that.” Emily’s tone was sadness mixed with bite. Kelley knew immediately that this was the wrong path to go down. When Emily had been named an alternate for 2016, she had been devastated. So, talking about being on the team so nonchalantly, would of course bother her. 

“Shit, that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t Alex Morgan, the savior of the team after that header. I wasn’t someone that had any real impact on what was happening, or at least that’s how I felt.” Emily starts to interrupt, but then thinks better of it. Because she did understand. These words could have been carbon copies of Emily’s thoughts in 2016. She wasn’t Lindsey Horan, the phenom who skipped college because she was so good. Being friends with Lindsey had been really hard during that time, though Lindsey hadn’t done anything wrong, Emily was just jealous. “But Hope made me feel better. It wasn’t ‘til the next year though that it became physical. Before then, people just saw us as close friends because that’s what we were.” Kelley continues to stare at the ceiling, trying to hold back from unloading all of those emotions on Emily. 

“What happened?” 

“I was always there for her. Whenever another story came out about her home life or she had a bad game, I was there to console her. I would let her berate me on the field and then go home with her that night. She had this power over me that I didn’t realize until much, much later. And she never wanted anyone to know, never wanted to be with me in public.” 

“Oh, Kel.” Emily knew Hope’s reputation for being a kind of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” personality. That some days she could be sweet and helpful and other days be abrasive and nasty. Emily herself had never been subjected to that part of Hope, but she knew plenty of those who had. 

“But I loved her, and I just wanted to be with her. So, for two and a half years that’s what I did. All the way up until Rio.” 

Emily’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “Two and a half years? You didn’t tell anyone for two and a half years?” Kelley only nodded. “Kel, that’s not healthy.” 

“I know that now.” Kelley snapped. “After Rio, she shut me out. The things she said to me, Em, I can’t...” Kelley could feel her resolve cracking. “So, I told Alex. And then had to hold Alex back from killing her.” Kelley chuckles softly. “She left, and when I ran after her, she slammed the door in my face, literally _and_ proverbially. I told her I’d leave the team with her, Em, that’s how attached I was to her.” Kelley sighed, tilting her head to look at Emily, who was still sitting on the end of the bed. 

Kelley took a deep breath and sat back up. “I haven’t been in a relationship since then. I didn’t leave my bedroom for nearly two weeks, ask Sam or NIkki. She never spoke to me again, and I still don’t know what I did wrong. And now she’s having a baby... with him.” The tears are welling up again. 

Emily wraps her arms around Kelley, leaving a kiss on her hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You are the most wonderful person I know. You give yourself so fully to other people and you deserve that kind of love given to you. Hope keeping you behind closed doors, that’s not love, Kel.” 

“Isn’t that exactly what I’ve been doing to you?” Kelley pulls back a little, just enough to look Emily in the eye. “Sneaking around? Telling you to keep it quiet? I’m like her, Em. And you don’t deserve that.” Her voice trembles. 

Emily pulled her back in, letting Kelley press her cold nose into her neck. She could feel the tears from Kelley’s eyes pouring out. She had figured something else was the root of Kelley’s problems, but this was beyond her comprehension. That someone had purposefully hidden her away, rather than shout from the rooftops how wonderful she was, broke Emily’s heart. 

“You are not the same as her, not even close.” Emily whispered into Kelley’s hair. 

They stay that way for a long time, wrapped in each other. Neither speaks, just breathing each other in. Eventually, Emily pulls back and starts saying the things she had never thought she’d never say out loud. 

“Kel?” Kelley hummed in response. “We can go as slow as you want, but I want to do this with you. I want to show you that you’re not her.” 

Kelley pulls back, stricken. “Em...” 

Emily holds her hand out, as one would to shake someone’s hand. 

“Hi, I’m Sonnett, Emily Sonnett.” She smiles. 

“Very James Bond of you.” Kelley jokes quietly before putting her hand in Emily’s. “Kelley. Nice to meet you.” 

*** 

They make it through the rest of camp after that. Kelley sits on the bench next to Alex for these next two games and watches Emily dart around the field. Alex hasn’t asked about what happened in the hotel room, but she can tell something good happened, so she doesn’t pry. Lindsey can tell something’s different with Sonnett, but she can’t put her finger on what it was. There wasn’t any hooking up behind closed doors, or secret make out sessions, just a hand resting on Kelley’s knee, or an arm slung across the back of Emily's chair at dinner. 

It had been a week since they’d seen each other when Portland came to Salt Lake for the game. Kelley wasn’t playing, she had been told that taking the rest of the year off was in her best interest, but she was at the stadium. She and Emily had been texting all day and she was excited just to get a glimpse of her. 

**_Kelley_ ** _:_ _Y’all_ _ready to lose tonight?_

**_Emily_ ** _:_ _im_ _sorry,_ _i_ _think you have the wrong number_

**_Emily_ ** _: this number belongs to a winner_

**_Kelley_ ** _: Someone is feeling cocky_

**_Emily_ ** _: confident_

**_Kelley_ ** _:_ _Wanna_ _bet?_

**_Emily_ ** _: you must really like losing_ _kel_

**_Kelley_ ** _: We’ll see about that. Loser buys breakfast_

**_Kelley_ ** _: T_ _he team is_ _still staying overnight, right?_

**_Emily_ ** _: let’s make it more interesting, loser makes breakfast_

**_Emily_ ** _: hear you make a mean smoothie_

**_Kelley_ ** _: Well start_ _thinking_ _about your specialties_

**_Emily_ ** _:_ _oh_ _I know what_ _im_ _making_

**_Kelley_ ** _: No avocado toast_

**_Emily_ ** _: dang it_

This made Kelley smile as she climbed in her car and drove to the stadium, her fingers playing with the diamond pendant around her neck. She made her way up to the boxes when she arrived and propped herself up to watch from above. Her eyes immediately found Emily, following her blonde bun around the field. Being back in Emily’s orbit felt really good, she smiles to herself. 

The game gets underway and it gets physical quick. Utah is fighting for a chance to make the playoffs and Portland has their pride to contend with. When Becky scores, Kelley screams at the top of her lungs, trying to dance around but limited by her air cast. 

It’s in the second half that things get crazy. She watches Emily take Christen down and get the yellow. In Kelley’s opinion, it was a professional foul, something she might have done if she was on the field. Christen was one of the fastest players in the league and you cannot let her get a breakaway. 

But then it there was the second yellow. It all happened so fast; Kelley had trouble keeping track. Emily took Amy down and got a second yellow, meaning she was ejected from the game. If it was her first foul, people wouldn’t have reacted as negatively. What Kelley had not expected was to see Amy get in Emily’s face. Even from high up in the stands, Kelley can see the look on her face, a mixture of fear and confusion, and she wished she could go down and help. But then it got worse. Lindsey and Tobin ran in, guns blazing, and Vero has to bear hug Amy and pull her away. It was all just so bizarre. What was she saying? Amy was a fiery person, for sure, but this was escalating. 

Finally, Emily gets off the field, into the tunnel, and out of Kelley’s sight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought maybe a different perspective of THAT game might be interesting. Let me know what you think, the comments are so fun to read! Stay safe, stay well.


	5. My Way Home is Through You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
> 
> \--  
> Title is My Chemical Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me taking fictional liberties by guessing what A-Rod yelled at Sonnett.

Kelley doesn’t see when Lindsey shoves Amy to the ground, she would learn about it later. Instead, she was already halfway down the stairs, moving as fast as her boot would let her. She wasn’t sure Emily would want to see her, or see anyone for that matter, but she wanted to be there just in case. She made it to the door of the locker room, stopping short of walking in. 

On the other side of the door, Emily had slumped down onto the floor in the back corner of the locker room, head in her hands. She couldn’t believe how stupid she had been. She should have backed off after the first foul, should have been more disciplined. She hadn’t meant to take Christen down like that, and she knew Tobin would give her an earful later, not that she needed it. She had meant to foul Amy but wasn’t planning on her going down the way she had. And she absolutely didn’t expect her to jump back up and start getting in Emily’s face. 

Emily can trash talk with the best of them, but she wasn’t sure where this was coming from. She had never had any kind of animosity toward Amy, they didn’t really even know each other that well. Amy was one of Tobin’s best friends, Emily always knew she was good people, so where was this coming from? And the things she was saying... 

Emily had always struggled with her confidence on the field. How could you not when you’re surrounded day in and day out by players like Tobin, Lindsey, _Kelley,_ Sinc, and Pinoe? Even back in college, when she was transitioned to center back, she never felt like she was living up to other people’s expectations. Being the first picked in the NWSL Draft had been terrifying. The pressure had been crippling for her, and, in her opinion, that’s what kept her off the Olympic roster in 2016. No one was harder on Emily than she was on herself, but Amy’s words stung. 

“No wonder you only played like 5 minutes in the World Cup!” 

“You’re a liability to your team.” 

“You won’t make the 2020 Games either.” 

These were all things Emily thought about herself on a regular basis, but hearing someone say it, someone who didn’t even really know her, made it worse. Is this what the fans think? Coach Parsons? _Jill?_ Why was she still playing? Maybe she should have retired after college and found a normal job. She probably would have been just fine getting her psychology degree and maybe going to graduate school. She wished her parents had been less supportive about her going pro, wished that they had told her there was no future in it. Emma was doing just fine with her life now, why couldn’t Emily have done that? But no, she wanted to be a professional athlete, and everyone told her she’d be great at it. 

Suddenly, a soft knock on the door pulled Emily out of her thoughts. Was the game over? No, her teammates wouldn’t knock. 

“Em? Em, it’s me.” Kelley poked her head in through the door, scanning the room. 

“Go away.” Emily said, flatly. She wasn’t ready for Kelley’s non-stop optimism. 

“The game should be over in a couple minutes, just wanted to let you know.” 

Emily banged her head back against the locker. “Thanks.” 

“What was that noise? Are you okay?” 

“Kelley, please. Go away!” Emily was getting frustrated. 

“I’m going now. I’ll be in the parking lot. If you want to stay with me tonight instead of at the hotel, you can. No pressure, Em.” 

And the door closed. Did Emily want to stay at Kelley’s tonight? Staying at the hotel with Lindsey would mean hours of talking about what happened and answering questions about how it made her _feel_. Those were things Emily just wasn’t ready to deal with right now. But, who’s to say Kelley wouldn’t make her do the same thing? If Emily really wanted, she knew of a surefire way of making Kelley not want to talk, but they were supposed to be taking it slow, like snail's pace slow. She pulls her phone out of the pocket of her bag. She ignores the twenty messages she had from her family and friends who had watched the game. She saw that Kelley had texted her just before the game, knowing Emily wouldn’t see it until much later. 

**_Kelley:_ ** _I’m so_ _unbelievably_ _proud to be your friend and your_

**_Kelley:_ ** _Whatever else we are, that part of me is proud too_

**_Kelley:_ ** _But I am excited to see what kind of breakfast you’re going to whip up for me tomorrow_

**_Kelley:_ ** _Good luck babe_

_Babe._ Emily loved that Kelley texted in short bursts, like stream of consciousness. It gave Emily an inside look at the way her brain worked and that she was just spilling it all out there. Seeing these little messages brought a small smile to her face. 

**_Emily:_ ** _don’t leave without me_

**_Kelley:_ ** _Wouldn’t dream of it_

Suddenly, the locker room door bangs open a little too harshly. Lindsey is the first one to come in and Emily can tell by the look on her best friend’s face they had lost. Lindsey is the most competitive person Emily has ever known and she does not take losing well. Tobin comes in behind her, also looking pissed. 

“Linds, you can’t do that to people! You’re lucky you didn’t end up with a red too!” 

Crap. What had Lindsey done after Emily left the field? 

“Tobin, I know she’s your friend, but you don’t get to say shit like that about my best friend and think I won’t do anything.” Tobin and Lindsey never fight. Whatever happened was a big deal. 

“Lindsey, what happened?” Emily asks quietly from her spot on the ground. 

Lindsey whipped around, she hadn’t known Emily was there. “Shit, Sonny, you scared me. I didn’t think you’d still be in here. I thought maybe you were in the lobby or on the bus.” 

“Nope, they sent me here. What happened?” 

“It’s not a big deal --” But she’s interrupted. 

“She shoved A-Rod to the ground on a dead ball right after you left. And then tried to fight her. No big deal.” Tobin says, looking between the two blondes. “Sonny, if you ever try that on Christen again, A-Rod will look like a chihuahua compared to me.” 

“Tobin!” Lindsey screeched. 

“I’m kidding!” And Tobin’s easy smile was back, she can never stay mad at anyone for long. “I’ll relay your apology when I go to her place tonight.” Lindsey makes a gagging sound. 

“Tell her I’m really sorry. And Amy too.” 

“Sonny, shit happens on the field, it’s okay. We all have bad games, but you have to leave it on the field.” Tobin reaches out and arm to lift Emily off the floor and wrapped her in a hug. 

“But y’all lost because of me.” 

“No, we lost because Becky Sauerbrunn is a ninja whose head is hard as a rock.” This makes Emily smile. 

“Sonny, want to order some contraband room service tonight?” Lindsey asks.

“Oh.” Emily had momentarily forgotten that she wasn’t going back to the hotel. “Actually, I told Kelley I would stay over with her tonight.” Emily stares down at her shoes, refusing to meet her best friend’s eye. 

“What? Ow!” Tobin had slapped Lindsey’s shoulder. “Is that what you want right now, Son?” Lindsey gave her a pointed look. 

Emily took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders back. “Yeah, I think so. It’s okay, Linds.” 

Lindsey doesn’t look convinced, but she nodded her head. “Well, I’m going to enjoy eating your half of the room service.” 

Emily rolls her eyes and throws her shoulders back. She heads out of the locker room and stops to talk with her coach, letting him know that she would not be at the hotel tonight but would be back for the bus the next day. Parsons, of course, reminded her that she wouldn’t be playing in their next game. He had that look on his face like a dad saying, _“I’m not_ _mad, I’m just disappointed”_ , which made Emily feel worse. She was going to have to miss playing against the Courage at home, probably the biggest game left for the Thorns before the postseason. 

She opened the back door of the stadium, which led to the player and staff parking, and there she was. Kelley was leaning back against her car door, looking at something on her phone. Emily doesn’t immediately try to get her attention; she just studies her. She looks so relaxed, so beautiful, standing there and Emily didn’t want to interrupt it. It takes a few seconds, but then Kelley sees her and her whole face brightens. 

“Hey!” She grabs Emily’s bag off her shoulders and tossed it in the trunk. “Are you doing okay?” 

“I’m alright, I guess.” Emily shrugs her shoulders before sliding into the passenger seat. 

The engine turns over and they pull out of the lot. 

“Pizza okay? It’s getting delivered to the house.” Emily nods her head before resting it against the window. 

They don’t talk the rest of the way back to the apartment. Kelley really wanted to ask Emily more about what happened, but she knew that if Emily wanted her to know, she would tell her. Kelley needed to give her time, maybe some space. She did want to let Emily know she was there for her, so she took a quiet risk. She reaches across the center console for Emily’s hand. She’s still not sure what she should or shouldn’t be doing when it comes to Emily, but she had consoled Kelley on numerous occasions, and it was time to return the favor. She takes Emily’s hand, but then Emily is one that intertwines their fingers, resting them in her lap. Kelley drove the rest of the way home with a smile on her face. 

*** 

“Kel, when you said pizza, I was thinking about an actual pizza. You know, like with pepperoni or something. This pizza is salad on bread.” Emily calls from the kitchen while Kelley was still carrying things in from the car. 

“That’s for me, did you check the second box?’ 

“I was scared it would be something worse!” 

Kelley rolled her eyes. “Healthy food isn’t torture, Em.” 

“Pizza is comfort food. Comfort food is greasy and high in calories.” Emily said while placing a slice on her plate. “Veggies are not comfort food, at least for normal people.” 

Emily plops down on the couch next to Kelley, mouth already full. She smiles as she sinks down into the cushion. There was a thin strand of cheese hanging off her chin, and, to Kelley, it was incredibly endearing. She reached up and brushed her hand across Emily’s jawline, surprising her. Kelley saw the expression in Emily's eyes and jerked her hand back. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. You just had some...” 

Emily takes Kelley hand. “it’s okay, Kel. You just caught me by surprise.” She leaves a soft kiss on Kelley’s palm. “But next time, watch out. Anything flying around my mouth at feeding time is fair game.” She winks and makes a chomping movement with her teeth. 

The two of them settled in and Kelley turned on the TV. Emily didn’t say much other than laughing every so often at a joke on the screen, and Kelley doesn’t push. After eating, Emily laid her head in Kelley’s lap, running her fingers through blonde hair. 

Kelley wanted so badly to ask about the event earlier that night. She could guess that it wasn’t all about the foul and the red card, but the words that were exchanged afterwards. Emily had always had trouble with self-confidence, it wasn’t a secret. But Kelley hoped that winning the NWSL championship and the World Cup would have given her a boost. 

“Kel?” Kelley hummed in response. “Stop thinking so hard.” Emily turned in Kelley’s lap so that she was looking up with tired eyes. 

“Sorry, I just want you to know you can talk to me.” 

“I know. I’m just not ready.” Emily nestles closer into Kelley’s abdomen. 

“Oh no, you don’t, ma’am. You’re not falling asleep on me. If you’re tired, let’s get you to bed.” Kelley gently pushes her, trying to get her to stand. 

“But you’re so comfy.” Emily whines. 

“Trust me, the bed is comfier.” 

Emily rolls her eyes. “I know you want to share a bed with me, Kel. You can admit it.” 

“With your bony ass? You better stay on your side.” Kelley finally shoves her off and walks down the hallway, beckoning Emily to follow. 

Kelley’s bedroom wasn’t anything special. She never spent very much time in the apartment anyway. It was more of a landing pad between trips. Now that she wasn’t traveling with the Royals, she was around more and was able to put a little more effort into the decor. There was a blue comforter with a little bit of a tie-dye effect, a small desk littered with books, but Kelley’s favorite part of her room was the wall opposite her bed. It was a gallery wall of framed photos, ranging in size. There were at least 25 of them, ranging from college to post-World Cup 2019. As she had been putting up the pictures, she came to the realization that Emily was in more of them than almost anyone. Emily comes out of the bathroom, toothbrush still her mouth, and comes over to look at the photos as well. 

“This is cool!” She says, trying not to spray toothpaste everywhere. 

“Thanks. I’ve had a lot of free time lately.” 

Emily’s smile falters a little before she turns back to the bathroom. When Kelley finishes changing, she steps out of the bathroom and finds Emily already tucking herself in. She doesn’t know (or does she?) that she is on the side Kelley sleeps on, but Kelley didn’t have the heart to tell her. Kelley slides in next to her and turns off the light. 

“Goodnight, Em.” 

“Can I at least get a kiss?” She pouts. 

Kelley rolled over to face her, met immediately with a classic Emily smile, one that she will never be able to say no. She lightly presses their lips together, the faint minty taste from the toothpaste still lingering. This was still new to both of them, exploring uncharted territory together. It was hard, almost having to work backwards. They had already had sex and now they have to work on the little relationship stuff that usually leads up to sex. 

“Goodnight Kel.” Emily turns to lay on her back and stare up at the ceiling. 

An hour or so later, Emily was still staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Her mind was still racing over the night’s events. She loved that Kelley hadn’t pressed about it, that she respected Emily's privacy. But now her thoughts and emotions were screaming at her, demanding to be felt. 

“Kel? Kelley? Are you awake? Kelley groans from under the cover. “Is that a yes, you’re awake?” 

Kelley turns over with a huff. “I am now.” 

“She said I was a liability, that I won’t make the Olympics.” Emily says to the ceiling. She knew if she looked at Kelley, she would probably start to cry. Suddenly, there was movement on the other side of the bed. Kelley was furiously throwing the covers off and grabbing a pair of shoes. 

“I’ll kill her. I swear to god I’ll kill her.” Kelley snarled. 

Emily reaches for Kelley’s arm, holding her back from getting off the bed. “Please don’t.” 

Kelley whips her head around. “Em, she can’t say shit like that to people. I don’t care if it’s in the heat of the moment. She’s an adult, she’s a mother for crying out loud!” 

“I know, but it’s late, can you wait to kill her tomorrow? I love a murder plot as much as the next person, but I only get a little time with you and I don’t want to spend it disposing of a body. But if that’s what you want...” This makes Kelley smile. 

“Fine.” Kelley huffs before sliding back under the covers. “You know it’s not true though, right Em?” Emily doesn’t respond, but she wrapped an arm around Kelley's waist and laid her head on Kelley’s chest. Emily isn’t like Kelley, she doesn’t seek out physical touch nearly as much, which makes this movement all the more genuine. 

“If you say so.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we think? Let me know, I love reading your comments. I hope everyone is staying safe and well!


	6. I Would For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, I’m your dream girl, huh?” 
> 
> \--  
> Title is Jane's Addiction

The next morning, Emily is woken up by the sunlight streaming through the blinds. She rolled over, trying to shield her eyes from the brightness. She had expected to find Kelley’s solid frame on the other side of the bed, but instead was met with empty sheets. Emily sat up abruptly, looking around the room, no Kelley. The bathroom door was open, no Kelley in there either. Still groggy from sleep, Emily left the bedroom and wandered down the hallway. There was Kelley, in all her glory, bent over a pan on the stove. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she was humming to herself. 

“I was supposed to make you breakfast.” Emily says, causing Kelley to jump, hissing as she stung her finger on the pan. “Shit, Kel, are you okay?” Emily rushed to her side, cradling Kelley’s hand. 

“I’m fine, Em. Nothing some cold water won’t fix.” 

“I’m sorry. God, I am just fucking up left and right.” Emily slumps into a dining room chair, face hidden in her hands. A moment later, she feels Kelley sit down next to her and take her hand, stroking it with her thumb. 

“We all have bad days.” 

“Do your bad days mean you’ll miss out on the most important game of the season?” Emily snaps. 

“Well, kind of, yeah. I mean, I got a red card in the middle of the national championship, remember?” It’s matter of fact, she’s not snapping back. 

Emily groans. “Yeah, I remember.” 

“It may not be exactly the same but that was one of the worst days of my life. I let my team down and for years I held onto the fact that we lost because of me. I had been terrified the national team coaches would see what I’d done and never get called up.” 

“But you did.” 

“Yeah, and you will be back playing in Providence Park. It’s one game, babe.” 

There’s that word again. _Babe._ Emily sat up in the chair and squeezed Kelley’s hand. “You’re right, I’m being a little dramatic. I’m sorry.” Emily shakes her head, trying to push her negative thoughts away. 

“You hungry?” Kelley asked, getting up from the table. 

“Yeah, but this wasn’t our deal.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“My team lost; I’m supposed to make you breakfast.” 

“Oh gosh, I forgot. I just figured you had a rough day and I wanted to help.” Her back is turned, fiddling with something on the stove top. 

“Well, what did you make me?” Emily giggles from the table. 

Kelley doesn’t respond, instead she walks back to the table carrying two plates piled high with waffles. She goes back and grabs a couple bowls, all filled with different toppings like fruit and chocolate chips. 

“I wasn’t sure which toppings that you’d want so I thought we could decorate them ourselves. I couldn’t find peanut butter chips, that must be just a Waffle House thing.” 

Emily smiled wide at the spread Kelley had put together. It was evident she thought from the get-go that she was going to be the one that lost the bet and prepared ahead of time. Emily grabbed the bowl of chocolate chips and dumped half of them on her waffle. 

“Man, I’m glad you forgot. I was just going to raid your fridge and make, like, toast or something. This is way better than anything I would have made.” She cut into her waffle and shoved a piece in her mouth. 

The rest of the morning whizzes by while they chat and stuff their faces. To Kelley, it almost felt like they did this every day, that Emily belonged here. Kelley wasn’t sure if she had ever felt that way before, that someone could so easily fit into her life. But eventually, they were pulled out of their little bubble when Lindsey called to say the bus to the airport was leaving in an hour. 

Soon, they were piling Emily’s things into the back of Kelley’s car and heading to the hotel. The drive was short, their hands joined together across the center console. When Emily goes to get out of the car, Kelley pulls her back for a minute. 

“Em? Can I... I don’t know if... Your teammates...” Kelley has never been one to stumble over her words, always so sure of what she wants or what she wants to say. But today, looking at Emily and knowing it will be a while before they see each other again, she was nervous. 

Emily cocked an eyebrow, letting Kelley mumble on just a little bit longer before pressing their lips together. “Is that what you wanted?” Kelley nods. “I’m really going to miss you, Kel.” 

“I’m already missing you.” 

“I’m right here.” Emily pressed their lips together again. “It won’t be too long, and we’ll be back together.” 

“I know, now you have to get on the bus, I don’t want your teammates staring at us while we make out.” 

Emily waggles her eyebrows “I don’t know, Kel. Sounds kind of hot to me.” Kelley gags. 

“Emily Ann Sonnett, get on that bus.” 

And so, she does. Kelley’s car stays in the parking lot until the bus pulls away. Lindsey had found her seat next to Emily and nudged her playfully. 

“Sooooo... how was your night?” 

**_Kelley:_ ** _Safe travels_

**_Kelley:_ ** _Missing you already_

**_Emily:_ ** _i_ _miss your waffles_

*** 

6-0. _Six to zero_. Zero goals scored. The Courage had come to town and obliterated the Thorns. It was the worst loss in Portland’s history as a club. And Emily had to watch it all unfold from the sidelines, in street clothes, where she couldn’t help. She watched Lindsey and Tobin frantically trying to right the ship, but nothing was coming. She hated seeing Menges having to shoulder so much of the defensive work, a load Emily normally shares with her. All of it was awful, and she couldn’t help. 

Kelley watched the game from her apartment. Christen had come over with a bottle of wine for them to share. What they hoped would be a fierce battle between the two top teams, turned into a bloodbath. Kelley gave an internal cheer when Crystal scored, it’s hard to not cheer for her. But then, the camera panned to the Thorns bench. Emily was sitting off to the side, hat pulled low, hiding her eyes, and that broke Kelley’s heart. She knew that Emily must be feeling this was all her fault. That her absence from the field had caused this. She sent a few short texts to Emily after the game, just checking in, but got no response. 

A few hours later, as Kelley was preparing for bed, her phone starts ringing. Lindsey was calling, which was odd. 

“Hey Linds, what’s up? Tough loss today, I’m sorry.” 

“Kelley, you need to get here.” 

Kelley stopped dead in her tracks. 

“What?” 

“Sonny is beside herself, she’s a mess. She kicked me out of her apartment, she is not okay.” 

Kelley had already started throwing things in a bag. 

“I’m on my way.” And then Kelley hung up the phone, racing out the front door. 

One of the many benefits of being a professional athlete is having access to private transportation. She didn’t have to wait in line at TSA and fly economy. Her agent had been great and didn’t ask why she needed to fly to Portland, instead just called the airline and had something ready for her. 

It’s only a two-hour flight to Portland to Salt Lake, and Kelley spent the whole time worrying about Emily. Worrying about her mental state. Worrying about whether she will actually want to see Kelley. Worrying about not being able to comfort her in the way she needs. Lindsey picked her up at the airport and they drove in silence for most of the ride. Finally, Kelley had to break the silence. 

“Thank you for calling me, Linds. I know you’re not the biggest fan of this relationship, or of me.” 

Lindsey just kept staring ahead at the road, white knuckle grip on the steering wheel. “Kelley, I was mad at you for messing with Sonny’s head and making her cry. If you guys want to be together, I’m fine with that. Well, maybe not _fine_ , but I would be eventually. It’s how you treated her after the World Cup that pissed me off.” 

“I know. And you should be pissed.” 

“But if you can help her in any way right now, I’m okay with that.” 

Kelley nodded. 

Soon enough, they pull up to Emily’s apartment complex. Lindsey tells Kelley which one is Emily’s and where the spare key was. Kelley softly opened the door and set her bag on the floor. All the lights were off in the apartment and it was silent. Kelley worried for a brief moment that Emily wasn’t even home. But then, there was a quiet sniffle coming from down the hall. Kelley found Emily bundled under her comforter, back turned away from the door, breathing heavily. 

Kelley didn’t even bother announcing her presence, opting instead to climb in bed next to Emily. She slid under the blanket and wrapped an arm around Emily’s side. She felt Emily tense for a moment, surprised. 

“It’s me, baby. It’s just me.” Kelley stroked her side. 

“Kel?” Emily choked out. “What are you... how are you...?” 

“Shhhh... we can talk later.” 

“Kelley, it’s my fault.” Emily sobs. “It’s all my fault.” 

“It’s going to be okay, Em.” Kelley pulled Emily in tighter, pressing her lips to the top of Emily’s head. 

“No, no it’s not.” Emily can barely speak between sobs. 

“Em, you have to breathe. Can you take a deep breath for me?” Kelley imitates and gestures for Emily to try it with her. Emily’s breath was uneven, shaking all the way through. 

It took some time for Emily's breathing to even out. She clung to Kelley, burying her face in neck as she began to fall asleep. 

The next morning, Kelley found herself underneath a mop of blonde hair. Emily had curled into her side, pressing her head against Kelley’s chest, just under her chin. Kelley had woken up once before that night, feeling Emily squeeze Kelley’s middle tight, like she was holding on for dear life. 

She managed to slide out from under Emily’s grasp, escaping to the kitchen. She wanted to make some coffee or something for when Emily finally woke, but nothing in the kitchen seemed quite good enough. She pulled out her phone and texted Lindsey, asking what Emily’s favorite coffee place in town was. She already knew her coffee order and added some avocado toast for good measure. She checked in on Emily before slipping out to pick up the food, still sleeping peacefully, unbothered. Kelley slipped out the door, taking Emily’s car keys with her. 

Emily woke suddenly, again finding herself alone in the bed. Had she dreamed it? Did Kelley actually even come to Portland? It had felt so real, having her arms wrapped tight around Emily’s waist. The feeling of being secure, even for only for a moment. It must have been something akin to a fever dream. Why would Kelley have shown up here? It’s not like they’re officially dating or anything, were they? They were still figuring things out. Kelley shouldn’t have to feel obligated to show up when something went wrong in Emily's life. Just because Emily knew that she would drop everything at the drop of a hat if Kelley needed her, doesn’t mean Kelley felt the same. 

The sound of keys in the door pulled Emily out of her thoughts. The only person that had a key to the apartment was Lindsey, but she never used it, since she and Emily were always together. From the bedroom, she hears the distinct sound of paper bags rustling. Emily climbed out of bed, pulling her sweatshirt over her head, and pads down the hall. She stops dead when she reaches the great room, seeing Kelley setting up the food tray Emily's mother had given her in college when she got the flu. Emily have forgotten she even owned something like that. It was so domestic, the way Kelley floated around Emily’s kitchen, seeming to know where everything was without having to be told. 

“You’re here.” 

Kelley drops the plate she was carrying. “Jesus, Em. You have to stop doing that!” 

“Sorry. I thought I dreamed you.” 

Kelley smiles. “So, I’m your dream girl, huh?” 

“Something like that.” 

“Do you want to eat out here? I was making this up to take to your room.” 

Emily contemplated for a moment. “Bed.” 

Kelley gives her a soft smile and lifts the tray off the counter. “After you.” 

Emily was so surprised that Kelley had put all this together for them. She knew that Lindsey was involved, but Emily didn’t feel the need to bring it up. They spent most of the morning in bed, just wrapped up in each other. 

“You know, I think I could get used to this.” Emily said, sticking her fork into Kelley’s yogurt for a taste. 

“Waking up together? Me too.” 

Emily laughs. “No, silly, you making me breakfast. You’re quite good at it.” 

Kelley rolls her eyes and bumps Emily with her shoulder. 

They move the tray to the floor and Emily resumes her position from the previous night, curling around Kelley. Kelley strokes her blonde hair, helping to keep Emily relaxed. 

“Em?” Kelley says softly. “We have to talk about it.” 

“No, we don’t.” Emily responds quickly and in a nervous tone. 

“That loss is not your fault. You cannot blame yourself for what happened out there.” 

Emily twists so they’re eye-to-eye. “How can you say that? If I hadn’t gotten the red card, I would have been on the field and I could have helped my team!” 

“Okay, but is it your job to score the goals too? Maybe, if you’d been out there it could have been 3-0. Hell, it could have been 0-0, but you aren’t the whole team. The Thorns seem to manage alright when you’re gone for camps and stuff, don’t they?” 

“This is different, Kel. I can’t explain it.” Emily was back on the verge of tears. Kelley rubbed methodical circles across her back, trying to keep her calm. 

“Try? I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.” 

Emily blinked back the tears and took a deep, albeit shaky breath. “It just feels like everyone is waiting for me to mess up. Mark, Jill, everyone. That way when I’m left off a roster or not given a starting spot, they can point to it and say, ‘we don’t need a liability like you on our team’. And this feels like one of those moments.” 

Emily hides her face in Kelley’s chest as soon she finished speaking, afraid of the eye contact. She had never admitted to anyone that she felt this way. Not Lindsey, not even Emma knew how scared Emily was of being cast aside. 

Kelley didn’t say anything immediately, too caught up in her own thoughts. That a player and person as amazing as Emily was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for someone to confirm her worst suspicions about herself, broke Kelley. She clutched Emily a little closer, burying her nose is messy blonde hair. 

“So amazing and you don’t even know.” She whispers into Emily’s hair. “Em, look at me. Please?” Emily shifts just enough for Kelley to see her. “I wish you could see you through my eyes. You are the most incredible woman I know, which is saying something, because I know Alex Morgan.” 

Emily rolls her eyes, the corners of her mouth tilting up just a little. “You’re biased.” 

“Maybe a little.” Kelley chuckles. “But that doesn’t mean what I’m saying isn’t true. As much as I wish I could follow you around everywhere as your personal hype women, I can’t. What is it going to take to get you to believe in yourself?” 

“Follow me around? That’s kind of stalker-ish, Kel.” 

“You would love it, I guarantee.” 

“Oh, I absolutely would. You know you’ve really made it when you have a stalker.” 

“Well, I’m happy to do my part. Do you think having the new coach is going to be helpful to you? Someone with an objective eye?” Emily makes a non-committal sound. “I’m choosing to think that means yes.” 

“Can we talk about something else, please? Like, let’s talk about how you got on a plane in the middle of the night to come see me.” 

Kelley stiffens just a little. “I was worried about you. I kind of like you, you know.” 

Emily nuzzles into the crook of Kelley’s neck. “You think I’m gorgeous, you want to smooch me, you want to--” 

Kelley cuts her off with a kiss, letting Emily melt into it for a moment. “I’m never letting you watch Miss Congeniality again.” She says before pressing their lips back together. 

“Whatever you say, _Miss_ Kelley.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we think? Drop something in the comments to let me know what you liked! I hope everyone is well and staying safe!


	7. Hanging By A Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you expect me to kiss her in the middle of the damn airport?” 
> 
> \--  
> Title is Lifehouse

Kelley stayed in Portland one more day before returning to Utah. Emily, of course, didn’t want her to leave. She tried her best to guilt trip Kelley into sticking around, then tried to bribe her. 

“I don’t understand why you can’t stick around. You can do your rehab here, it’s not like you’re playing.” Emily said, wrapping her arms around from behind the couch, tucking her chin and reading over Kelley’s shoulder. 

Kelley’s head snapped up and out of her book, almost head-butting Emily. “Wow, thanks.” 

“No, no, no! I didn’t mean it like that!” She squeezed Kelley tight, peppering her neck and temples with kisses. “I just don’t want you to leave me.” 

Kelley rotates so they’re face to face. “Em, we’ll be back together at camp in, like, less than two weeks. I do have some things I need to take care of back in Salt Lake before then. Not to mention, I didn’t pack any real clothes when I came here.” 

“I have plenty of clothes for the both of us.” Emily says indignantly. 

“That doesn’t sound as sexy as you think it does.” Kelley chuckles. “It’s two weeks. You’ll survive without me.” 

“But I don’t want to. And camp isn’t the same. We won’t get to spend time together.” 

Kelley gently tugs at Emily until she climbs onto the couch and basically into her lap. “Em, you’re going to be fine. I think Lindsey is a little jealous and wants her best friend back.” 

“She doesn’t know how to get by without me. It’s sad, honestly.” Emily says sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Kelley smiles at Emily's obvious hypocrisy. 

That evening, Emily drove to the airport. Somewhere along the road, Kelley tucked her hand around Emily's thigh and kept it there the whole ride, rubbing slow circles with her thumb. As they were winding around to the drop-off, Emily laid her hand on top and laced their fingers together. 

“If this soccer thing doesn’t work out, you have a great shot at being a chauffeur to the stars.” 

“I’ll keep that in my back pocket.” Emily jokes before wrapping Kelley in a tight hug, almost too tight. 

“Sweetheart... um... Kelley can’t breathe.” Kelley chokes out and Emily loosens just a little, pressing her face into Kelley’s neck, taking in her scent. She smelled like Emily’s shampoo and baby powder, and Emily tried her best to memorize her freckles. “Em, remember, just two weeks.” Emily doesn’t speak, just nods without stepping away. Finally, after about five cars honked at them for taking too long, Kelley pulled them apart and headed toward the doors. 

“Damn, Kel. Hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.” Kelley felt the tips of her ears burn and she may or may not have added a little swing in her step before disappearing inside the airport. 

Kelley spent the whole plane ride back thinking. Thinking about Emily, and how Kelley had not thought, even for a second, about going to her. But then she thought about Hope. She thought about spending two years dropping whatever she was doing if Hope needed her. She hated herself for not having a backbone, for not putting herself first sometimes. 

Everyone knew Kelley as a fiercely loyal person who would do anything for her friends. But sometimes she wondered if her friends would do the same for her. She thought about whether or not Emily would have done the same for her if the tables were turned. She wanted to believe the best, but all her prior experience told her different. When Kelley lost a family member, Hope didn’t come. She had sent an impersonal text, not even bothering to call. When Kelley’s sister got married, Hope refused to go as her date. It happened so frequently; Kelley stopped asking her, learning how to handle things on her own. After the Hope break-up, it had taken Kelley years before she started thinking about putting herself first. She was finally at the point where she could finally tell people “no”. 

Kelley can’t say no to Emily, she knows this. She knows that anything this girl asked her to do, she wouldn’t hesitate. This time, Emily hadn’t even asked, Kelley had just taken it upon herself to make her feel better. She knew this relationship, whatever kind it was, was different than when she was with Hope, but the fear was still there. The fear of losing herself, of making herself small to boost someone else. She knew that Emily was the complete opposite of Hope and that she would never intentionally hurt Kelley, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t still happen. 

That's why Kelley had to go back to Utah. If she had wanted, she probably could have stayed in Portland right up until camp and Christen or Becky would have brought her a bag. But she wanted to set boundaries. And Emily was right, camp wasn’t the same as spending the day in her apartment together. Camp was for training, a time where focus is the most important. Kelley couldn’t play, but she was still able to participate in some parts of training and she didn’t want Emily’s playing to suffer. Emily, who was in a perpetual state of unrest because of her lack of self-confidence. 

Bless Christen Press. Christen had agreed to pick Kelley up at the airport and did not ask any questions about why she was in Portland. The only question she did ask is why she wasn’t invited. 

Kelley paced around her apartment when she got back. She kept looking at the cute texts Emily had sent her while she had been in the air. They simultaneously made her heart swell and her stomach drop. 

**_Emily:_ ** _come back_

**_Emily:_ ** _god_ _i_ _forgot how annoying_ _lindsey_ _is_

**_Emily:_ ** _you left your socks, now you_ _must_ _come back_

**_Emily_** ** _:_ ** _don’t_ _want your toesies to get cold_

**_Emily:_ ** _i_ _miss you_

Before she could think too much about it, she dialed Alex’s number. Alex was the only other person that knew about Kelley’s relationship with Hope. She’s also never afraid to call Kelley out when she’s being stupid, which happens a lot, apparently. As soon as Alex answered, Kelley didn’t even give her time to say hello. 

“I went to see Sonnett.” Kelley blurted out. 

“Well hello to you too, Kel. To what do I owe the pleasure of your call tonight?” 

“I went to see Sonnett.” Kelley repeats just as rushed as before. 

“Okay.” 

“She had a meltdown about the game, and Lindsey called me, and I-I-I couldn’t _not_ go.” It all tumbles out of her mouth before she can stop herself. 

“Okay.” 

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not that person anymore.” Kelley shakes her head, talking to herself more so than having a conversation with her friend. “Don’t just say okay.” 

“And what kind of person is that?” 

“The person that spends all her time trying to make everyone else feel better and doesn’t think about herself!” Kelley exasperates. “Like with Hope.” 

Kelley doesn’t have to see Alex’s face to know she’s annoyed. “Kelley. Stop it.” 

“Stop what?” 

“Worrying. Just stop it. You’re spiraling.” 

“It’s not that easy.” Kelley counters. 

“Yes, actually it is. Take a deep breath.” 

“But Al--” 

“Breathe, Kelley.” Alex commands. Kelley sucks in a deep breath and lets it out loudly for Alex to hear. “Okay, now would you like to try to have this conversation again? Tell me what’s going on.” 

And so, Kelley unloads on her best friend. She talks about Emily spending the night with her in Utah and how nice it was to have her there; how _easy_ it was to have her there. She told Alex about making breakfast in the morning just to help Emily feel better. She explained how heartbroken she felt seeing Emily on the sidelines, and how she didn’t hesitate to fly to her afterwards. She told Alex about spending the day in bed together and how comfortable it felt. She talked about how much she missed having Emily within an arm’s length. Missed her hugs, her laugh, even missed the terrible jokes. 

“Kel, I’m not seeing a problem here.” 

“What do you mean? People don’t just jump on planes in the middle of the night for someone.” 

“Sonny isn’t just someone, Kel. Do you hear yourself talking about her? I’ve known you over ten years and I’ve never heard you like that.” 

“I know she’s not just _someone,_ but I don’t know why I’m acting like this. I don’t do this anymore.” Kelley felt herself getting worked up again. 

“Wormy, calm down. Just calm down, it’s me you’re talking to you.” Kelley takes another deep breath. “Sonny isn’t Hope. That’s what this is all about, right?” 

“How can you be sure?” 

“Man, she really did a number on you, didn’t she?” 

“Alex!” 

“Kelley! It’s okay to let yourself enjoy this. You like Sonny, you like being around her. She’s not Hope, she’s not going to take advantage of you like that. You went to her because _you_ wanted to, that’s the difference. Hope demanded you be there for her, expected you there. You have to relax, Kel, Sonny adores you.” 

Kelley collapsed on her couch. “I’m scared, Al. I really like her.” 

“Why does that scare you so much?” 

“What if I mess it up? What if we screw up the team?” 

“Kelley, if you two want to be together, you’ll make it work. You’ll be okay. You have so many people in your life that you can look to for help. Tobin, Christen, Ash, Ali, they’ll all be there for you. And you know I’m always here and I won’t hesitate to tell you when you’re being an idiot.” Kelley could hear Alex’s cocky smile on the other end. 

“You always do.” 

“And if you don’t tell that girl how you feel, I will hunt you down and smack you.” 

**_Kelley:_** _M_ _iss you more_

*** 

Kelley didn’t tell Emily at camp. She had meant to, she really did. But days went by without being able to get her alone, without getting to spend time together. Suddenly, they were in Chicago, both riding the bench. Kelley knew she needed to tell her. Once the victory tour was over, their time together would be limited in the off-season. She had even toyed with asking Emily to stay with her for part of it, but she couldn’t ask that of her. Not if Kelley wasn’t able to commit, wasn’t able to admit her feelings. 

Emily sat back on the bench, laying her arm behind Kelley’s back. Every so often, she runs her thumb up and down Kelley’s shoulder. They both knew that hundreds of cameras were on them, and this wasn’t something for other people to see. Besides the moment at the end of the game, when the whole bench jumped up to cheer as Alyssa joined the field players for hot second, they stay like that. Alex kept giving Kelley the stink eye, her not-so-subtle way if showing her distaste that Kelley hadn’t done what she’d promised. 

The next morning, it was time to head to the airport. Kelley managed to sneak into the van of younger players, hoping they wouldn’t ask too many questions. It was a short ride and Kelley hung out with them plenty during camps, so it wouldn't be weird, right? Emily takes her hand and pulls her into the back seat. Lindsey sends a look their way before turning back to her conversation with Rose. 

Emily and Kelley don’t talk on the drive from the hotel. Kelley lays her head on Emily’s shoulder, breathing her in, while Emily twisted their fingers together in her lap. Every so often, Emily pipes in on whatever the other girls were talking about, but Kelley was halfway to sleep by the time they arrived at the airport. 

Everyone says their goodbyes before splitting off towards their separate terminals. Before Emily can say anything, Kelley has appeared at her side and was wrapping her in a tight hug. 

“I’m going to miss you.” Kelley whispers, making Emily laugh. 

“Come visit me anytime, Kel. And since we know Utah’s not making the playoffs...” Kelley smacked her shoulder. “You can come to my games.” 

They must have stayed like that for an abnormal length of time (to Emily it only felt like seconds) because Lindsey clears her throat from behind them. Emily snapped back to reality, remembering that they were in front of a crowd of people that didn’t know just close they’d become. 

“Call me, okay?” Emily looked down, trying to catch Kelley’s eye. “Nice necklace, by the way.” She smiled, reaching to touch the tiny diamond around Kelley’s neck. 

“Thanks, some girl gave it to me.” Kelley chuckles, finally looking up to meet Emily’s eye. 

“Maybe I should get her number, since she’s giving out diamonds.” 

“I don’t know, I think she’s out of your league. Definitely out of mine.” 

Emily wrapped Kelley in one more tight hug before they catch up with their teammates. 

Emily flopped down into the seat next to Lindsey, who was pulling out her headphones. Emily huffed and rested on her best friend’s shoulder. At first, Lindsey didn’t say anything, just handed her one of the headphones, pulling up Netflix on her phone. 

“No offense, Son, but that was the lamest goodbye I’ve ever seen.” 

“What?” Emily sits straight up. 

“You and Kelley.” 

“Did you expect me to kiss her in the middle of the damn airport?” 

“Kind of.” 

“We haven’t defined anything yet. We’re taking it slow.” 

“I think when Kelley jumped on a plane in the middle of the night, that _defined it.”_ Lindsey narrowed her eyes. 

“I don’t know about that. But I’m ready whenever she is. I’m not going to push her.” 

“Maybe she needs it.” Lindsey says flippantly. 

“She’s been through some shit, Linds. I don’t want her to feel rushed.” 

Lindsey nods, even though the look on her face was still wary. “I get that Sonny, I do. I just don’t want you to get stuck behind closed doors.” 

Emily drops her head back on Lindsey’s shoulder. “Good thing I have The Great Horan looking out for me.” 

*** 

It’s another two weeks before they see each other. Emily had been right, Utah did not make the play-offs, meaning Kelley had no reason to stay there until it was time to come back for preseason. She had contemplated heading to Atlanta immediately, but then Emily called her. 

“Meet me in Chicago.” 

“What?” Kelley leaned forward in the chair that she’d been sitting in, giving Emily an up-close view of her wide-eyed expression. 

“Our game against Chicago, I want you to be there.” Emily smiled. 

“Em, I don’t want to be a distraction. You need to focus on the game.” 

“I’m going to be thinking about you whether you’re there or not, Kel. I’d much rather you be there.” 

Kelley’s mind was racing. Of course, she wanted to be there with Emily, she always wants to be with Emily. But. she knew if Portland lost this game, it could be her fault. Emily would never blame her outright, but she could grow to resent Kelley being there. On the other hand, what if they won? What if Emily saw her as good luck? She would love to be there to help celebrate Emily making to the championship. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to mess anything up.” 

“Please, Kelley. I want you there.” 

Portland loses 1-0. Kelley watched from the one of the team boxes. It was the worst kind of loss, having to chase a lead from the very beginning, only to come up empty. Kelley’s heart sank when the final whistle blew. She watched Emily and Lindsey embrace, trying to pretend she didn’t notice the tears on their faces. She feels happy for her friends like Julie and Alyssa, who had been waiting years to break their play-off curse, but it was nothing compared to the pain she felt for Emily. 

They meet outside of the stadium as the team files onto the bus. Emily steps out the door, her eyes red-rimmed from crying, her shoulders slumped. But, when her eyes meet Kelley’s, a little bit of life comes back into them. She dropped her bags and flung herself into Kelley’s arms. To their credit, none of Emily’s teammates batted an eye at Kelley’s presence outside the locker room. 

“Can we go?” Emily whispers, her head buried in Kelley’s neck. 

Kelley leaves a dainty kiss on the top of Emily's head. “Yeah, let’s go.” 

She takes them back to Kelley’s hotel, where Emily heaved herself into the bed, face-down. 

“God, this sucks.” It’s muffled with her face in the pillow. Kelley sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing her back. 

“I know, we’ll get through it, Em.” 

Emily flipped over. “We?” She questioned. 

Kelley clammed up. What had she meant by that? Her heart started pounding. “Oh, I just meant...” 

“Kel, calm down.” Emily says, reaching for her hand. “I want to _get through it_ with you.” She pulls Kelley down further on the bed. 

“Em?” Kelley’s voice shakes. If she was going to do this, she needed to do it before she lost her nerve. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Kelley shook her head. “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted you to know, this thing we’re doing? I’m in.” 

For a moment, the expression on Emily’s face is unreadable. This is what she’s wanted for years. She’s somewhat ashamed about how much she’d dreamed about this, dreamed about being with Kelley. She had spent so much time obsessing over their every interaction, every touch. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, Kelley gave her hand a tug. 

“Em? Emily, did you hear me?” 

“Say it again.” Emily felt the smile creeping across her face. Kelley sees it and rolls her eyes. 

“I’m in. I’m all in.” She leans down and presses her lips against Emily’s, who couldn’t help but keep smiling. 

“You called me Emily.” She giggles. 

“Hmm...?” Kelley hums, chasing Emily to kiss her again. 

“You’ve never called me that before.” 

“Sure, I have. That’s your name.” 

“Nope. It’s always been Sonnett, Son, Sonny, or Em. Oh, there’s also loser, dummy, and my personal favorite, cutie.” Emily scrunches her nose up and Kelley thinks it might be the most adorable thing she’s ever seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally taking the plunge! What did y'all think? Drop a comment with reactions/suggestions, I love reading them! I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!


	8. Helpless When She Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’s sounds like a pretty cool person, this girlfriend of yours.” 
> 
> \--  
> Title is Backstreet Boys

_“Do you want to tell people?”_

Emily woke the next morning, surprised by a weight on her chest. She opened her eyes to see a ball of brown hair under her nose. Kelley’s face was tucked in the space where her collarbone met her neck, with one leg thrown around Emily’s. She could feel Kelley nuzzling deeper in her sleep. 

The night before, after they'd made it official between the two of them and after they’d _celebrated_ a few times, Kelley asked her that question. Did she want to tell people? Did Kelley want to tell people? She thought about Lindsey, who finally seemed like she was coming a round to the idea of their relationship. She thought about Alex, Kelley’s best friend, and how overprotective and scary she could be. She thought about this being the first conversation she had with Vlatko as their new coach. Did she want to tell people? Did she want to tell the world? She pretty much already knew that the answer to that last question was _no._

She didn’t give Kelley answer right away, but Kelley didn’t push. Emily was up half the night, staring at the ceiling. She was pretty sure she wanted to tell people, or at least her family and Lindsey, of course. She also thought about how Kelley had been in a relationship for two years and didn’t get to tell people about it. Would that make her want to shout it from the rooftops, or keep it in their little bubble? Emily was pretty sure she loved Kelley, almost positive even, but she didn’t know how to move forward from here. Eventually, her racing mind exhausted, she fell asleep. 

The smell of coffee is what finally stirred Kelley out of her sleep. She hadn’t felt Emily get out of the bed and hadn’t heard her leave the room. And yet, here she was, two cups in hand. 

“Well, good morning sleepyhead. You know what checkout is in, like, an hour right?” Emily chastises. 

Kelley responds by throwing the comforter back over herself. “I’ll pay for another night, too comfy to leave now.” 

Emily climbed into the bed next to her, passing the coffee. “Good thing I stopped at the desk and got us a late checkout.” 

Her head popped out from under the blanket, smiling. “I knew I liked you.” 

“You do? How scandalous Kel, I have a girlfriend!” Emily says in fake shock. 

“Hmm... but is she as pretty as me?” Kelley smiled over the lid of her cup. 

“I don’t think anyone is as pretty as you.” Emily leaned down, pressing their lips together. 

They lay in bed together for the rest of the morning, giggling about some old TV show and trying to pick the Tik-Tok dance they were going to try. Kelley placed her empty cup on the nightstand and curled into Emily. 

“Have you thought about my question? Do you want to tell people?” 

Emily took a deep breath. “I want to tell my family, if that’s okay. And Lindsey would kill me if I kept something like this from her. I think telling the team might be necessary but since we’re in off-season now, it could wait. Well, there’s camp but...” She trails off. 

“But I won’t be there after a couple days.” Kelley finished for her. 

“Yeah.” 

“Em, of course telling our families is important. And I have to tell Alex, or she will kill us both.” Kelley snorted. 

“But Kel, I don’t want to hide it either. Maybe we should just let people guess. It’s not like Tobin and Christen are trying that hard to keep their relationship under wraps.” Kelley laughs at that. 

“The internet does already think we’re together, might as well give them what they want.” She tackles Emily back onto the bed. 

*** 

Emily spent a week in Atlanta with Kelley before they both left for the last camp of the year. Kelley was only there the first two days, an opportunity to meet the new coach, and then went back home. Emily, on the other hand, was bombarded by her friends and their questions. Lindsey was the only person that knew going into camp, and she did her best to help Emily when she was attacked by Sam, Rose, and Mal about her dating life. They meant well, sure, but it was a little overwhelming. 

“I’m sorry, but were you and Kelley holding hands?” Mal shoves her phone in Emily’s face. There’s a picture of the two of them from before camp, walking downtown. Emma had been with them; she must have taken the photo. They were definitely holding hands. _Traitor._ Emily thought. 

“What about this Instagram post?” Rose squealed, pointing to the photo Emily had posted on her story while they were at the airport. Kelley was hugging her from behind, head resting on Emily’s shoulder while she took the selfie with her coffee. A second after the picture was taken, Kelley had kissed the side of her jaw. 

“Or this one?” Rose screeched. She swiped to another photo; one Emily had not seen before. It must have been another Emma picture, but she sent it to Kelley instead. It was an image of the two of them about to get into an Uber the night before they left for camp, Emma had taken them out for few drinks. Emily had her arm around Kelley’s waist and was talking to someone off-screen, probably Emma’s boyfriend, but Kelley, Kelley was staring at Emily with the biggest smile she had ever seen. 

“Can you send me that? I’ve not seen it before.” 

Rose’s jaw dropped. “Of course, but are we going to talk about this?” 

Sam was, as usual, the voice of reason in their group. She didn’t ask Emily any overwrought questions or demand explanations. When Emily told them, Sam was already hugging her while Rose and Mal just stared at each other, dumbstruck, until Lindsey smacked the back of both their heads. 

When Kelley told Alex over FaceTime before going to camp, she simply smiled. “Well, finally. I’m happy for you, Kel. But make sure Sonny knows that if she breaks your heart, I will kill her.” 

*** 

Soon enough, it was mid-November, meaning Emily’s birthday was around the corner. Her family had invited Kelley to stay for a few days while the celebrated the twins’ birthday and Thanksgiving. It wasn’t as if Kelley hadn’t met Emily’s family before, because she had, probably 20 times at least. But this would be the first time meeting them as Emily’s girlfriend, and that was nerve-wracking. 

It had been just about a month since they made it official in Kelley’s hotel room. Minus the nagging ankle pain, it might have been the best month of Kelley’s life. They hadn’t been able to be around each other the whole time, but it was good practice for when the season started back up and they’d be in different states for long periods of time. Emily had stayed with Kelley in Atlanta before camp and it was bliss. Having her there felt right, waking up next her to felt right. It was like they’d been doing this for years; the awkwardness of a new relationship wasn’t there. And she guessed they had. Maybe not officially, but it had always been there between them. 

She spent her free time searching for a gift, something that would match the perfect birthday gift Emily had given her. She played with the pendant around her neck absentmindedly while perusing through stores. Nothing she found was good enough, though. She had picked out a cute scarf for Emma and a fancy bottle of wine for Emily’s parents, but nothing for Emily. She had almost given up hope when she got an idea. She pulled out her phone and dialed. 

“What’s up, Kel?” Lindsey says. 

“I don’t know what to get her.” 

“Get who?” 

“Sonny, for her birthday. What should I get her?” Kelley felt embarrassed to ask. 

“She is a tough one. And she’s so good at giving people gifts.” 

“Not helping, Linds.” 

“Right, sorry. Something personal, something only she would love. Don’t worry about trying to get her something crazy, she’s more into little things like photos or something homemade.” 

“Oh, great, I hate crafts.” Kelley rolled her eyes. 

“Kelley, she’s going to love whatever you give her because it came from _you_. Don’t stress so much.” 

“Yeah, easy for you to say. You’re not going to be there when she opens it in front of her family.” 

“So, don’t let her.” 

“Oh yeah, Linds, that’ll go over well. ‘Sorry Mr. And Mrs. Sonnett, I got her a gift, but she can’t open it in front of you.’ Lindsey, they’ll think I got her lingerie or a sex toy!” 

Kelley could hear Lindsey snorting with laughter on the other end. “Not exactly what I meant, but if you want to go that route, by all means. I just meant you could save a more personal gift for when you’re alone.” 

“Now I have to get her two gifts? Lindsey, you are, literally, the worst at giving advice.” 

“Hey, I’m trying here. But I do have to go, I was just reminded that I need to get someone a birthday present.” 

“Well, thanks for nothing.” 

*** 

Two weeks later, Kelley found herself driving along the highway in between her hometown and Emily’s. She had felt awful when she told her parents she had been invited to spend Thanksgiving somewhere else. But when she mentioned that _somewhere else_ was at her new girlfriend’s family home, her mom wrapped her in the tightest hug she could. She told Kelley that this meant they were expecting to see Emily at Christmas. Kelley laughed and said they would talk about it. She didn’t want to make the decision alone and that was a new feeling for her. Wanting to check with her partner before committing to anything. She had never really done that before. Since Hope never wanted to meet Kelley’s family, they never planned things like holidays together. Every day Kelley was surprised by how much she enjoyed thinking about the future with Emily. She wasn’t thinking way into the future like weddings and kids and stuff (though those things stayed in the back corner of her mind) but what spending Christmas would be like, would Emily want to come with her to Ali and Ash’s wedding, how would they spend New Year's? All of those things brought big smiles to Kelley’s face as she drove with the window down, her arm sticking out, making waves with her hand. 

Kelley pulled into the Sonnetts’ driveway. As she was pulling her bag out, arms wrapped around her, squeezing her tight. 

“You’re here!” Emily squealed into her ear. 

Kelley spun around in her arms so that they were face to face and Emily crashed their lips together. 

“Em, Em, slow down.” Kelley says as she pulls away. “I don’t want to make a bad impression.” 

“You’ve met my family plenty of times.” 

“Well yeah, but that was when I was just your beautiful, amazing friend. Now, I’m your beautiful, amazing girlfriend. That’s a big change.” 

Emily giggled as she led Kelley up the front stairs and into the house. She was immediately met with dozens of photos of Emily and her sister. Images of soccer games, kindergarten graduations, and family vacations line the walls of the foyer. Emily’s parents greeted her with hugs, exclaiming how happy they were she was there. 

Mrs. Sonnett gave Kelley the grand tour of their house, telling her to drop her things in Emily’s room. She showed off the trophies both girls had won throughout the childhood and into college. Emily followed along behind them, her face flushing with embarrassment as her mom led Kelley through the house. 

Later that evening, they gather around the fire pit in the back yard with a bag of marshmallows. Emily had watched Kelley interact with her family all day, how easily she fit in. Her father was already ragging on her for refusing to choose between Georgia and Georgia Tech, though Kelley figured she had to pick Emma’s alma mater. Emily had watched Kelley in the kitchen with her mom earlier, how interested she had been in learning the recipe (though Emily’s mom said she wouldn’t tell until Kelley was officially part of the family). Soon enough, the parents headed off to bed and left Emily and Kelley alone in front of the fire. Emily abandoned her seat and climbed into Kelley’s lap, wrapping them both in a blanket. 

“They like you.” She says, leaning back on Kelley’s chest. 

“I hope so. I really turned on the Kelley O’Hara charm, not sure what I would do if it didn’t work.” She pulls Emily close, burrowing into her shoulder. 

“Thank you for coming here, seriously.” 

“Em, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Kelley takes a second to check her watch. “By the way, happy birthday!” She presses their lips together. 

The next morning, Emily wakes up to an empty bed. Well, not empty per se, there was a sticky note on what had been Kelley’s pillow. 

_This ticket ensures one free_ _, homemade_ _breakfast of your choice._

Emily jumps out of bed and made her way into the kitchen. Kelley was sitting at the counter, sipping her coffee. Even in sweats and messy bedhead, she looked like the most beautiful thing Emily had ever seen. Kelley catches her staring and smiles over her mug. 

“Good morning, birthday girl!” She gets up and hugs Emily, pulling back to look at her. “Man, you’re looking older already. I think your mom mentioned the diner in town has senior citizen discounts.” 

“Oooh, so funny. Did you forget you’re five years older than me?” Emily rolled her eyes. 

“Hey, I’m all for discounts, bring them on!” 

Emily brandished the note from her pillow. “Oh, no you don’t! I was promised a homemade breakfast!” 

Kelley laughed. “What’ll it be, your majesty?” 

The rest of the day, Kelley doted on Emily, making sure everything was going right all day. She surprised Emily with little notes all over the house and showering her with adoration. By dinner, the two were stuck together like glue. Which made Kelley’s next move all the more impressive. 

They sat around the table while Emily and Emma opened their gifts and ate cake. Kelley excused herself to go to the bathroom and when she came back, she was carrying a large box. Emily looked up from her plate, eyes wide. 

“Kelley, what in the world? You didn’t have to get me anything!” 

“Of course, I did! But also, this present is something I can enjoy too.” Kelley smiled, placing the box on the table. “Well, go on, open it!” 

Emily went to rip the paper off the box and saw that the top was wrapped separately. She pulled the top off and was immediately met with two little pointy ears. 

“Kel...” Emily reached in and pulled out a small, merle-colored puppy. She had to hold back tears. 

“I already confirmed that your apartment in Portland is dog-friendly and found a good walking service for when you’re away. Ellie and Caitlin volunteered to watch her when we’re gone with the national team.” Kelley rambled on. “My apartment is also pet-friendly, or if you want, your parents said she could stay here.” 

“Kelley...” Emily was speechless. Kelley knew that Emily had been wanting a dog of her own for years, but she had been so worried that being gone all the time wouldn’t allow it. Kelley had gone through the trouble of securing contingency plans for any occasion. This little munchkin was _hers_. The puppy started chewing on Emily’s fingers and that snapped her out of her thoughts. 

“Do you like it? I mean, her. Do you like her?” Kelley stumbled over her words. 

Emily didn’t answer as she rounded the table, reaching her Kelley and pulling her into a searing kiss. “I love her, this is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” 

Kelley's eyes lit up. “Really?” 

“Really.” Emily says, planting another kiss. “What’s her name?” 

“Oh, I thought you’d want to name her. The shelter was calling her Bagel, which I thought was cute.” 

Emily held the puppy up, looking her in the eye. “You like being a Bagel?” The puppy licked her nose. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

That night, after they had successfully worn Bagel out and she was sleeping in the crate, Kelley reached into her suitcase and pulled out a small, brown package, leaving it on Emily’s pillow for when she came back from brushing her teeth. 

“What is this?” Emily picked up the package. 

“Happy birthday!” Kelley gave her a tired smile. 

“Kel, you already got me an amazing gift.” 

“This one's a little more boring, sorry.” 

Emily tore the paper off and found a picture frame. The frame was a mosaic of sea glass, all blues and greens. In the frame was another photo of the two of them. “How did you...?” The photo was from the night before, when they were sitting alone by the fire pit. Emily was curled up in Kelley’s lap while they laughed hysterically at some now forgotten joke. 

“Emma showed it to me this morning. Originally, it was just going to be the frame. So, you got an upgrade.” 

Emily leaned in and pressed their lips together. “I love it. This has been the best birthday ever, and that’s saying something. For our eighth birthday, we went on a family cruise!” 

“Wow, why is this one so much better?” Kelley pulled her into the bed, snuggling close. 

“I don’t know if you heard, but my girlfriend got me a puppy!” Emily squealed, then panicked she had woken Bagel up. It had taken a long time to tire her out. 

“She’s sounds like a pretty cool person, this girlfriend of yours.” 

“She’s amazing. Don’t tell anyone but I think I’m falling in love with her.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fluff! Hope y'all enjoyed! Leave a comment with your thoughts and/or suggestions, I love reading them. Stay safe and well, this thing will end eventually!


	9. The Same Deep Water As You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It happens to the best of us.”
> 
> __  
> Title is The Cure

_“Don’t tell anyone but I think I’m falling in love with her.”_

Kelley was pretty certain she didn’t sleep at all that night. She stared, trying to count the pinpoints in the old popcorn ceiling of Emily’s childhood bedroom. She smiled to herself when she saw the poster of Mia Hamm still hanging on the wall, very similar to the one that used to hang in Kelley’s room as a kid. She listened Bagel’s little snores and took a small sense of pride that the puppy hadn’t whined once. Kelley had picked a good one. 

Speaking of good ones, she couldn’t help but feel the way Emily hand was throw haphazardly across Kelley’s chest while she was face down in her pillow. Was Emily really falling in love? Falling in love with her? The only thing she had been able to do when Emily spoke those words was give her a soft smile before falling onto the bed. And like the good person she was, Emily didn’t seem to be waiting for Kelley to say the same. 

Was Kelley falling in love with Emily? Looking back now at her previous relationships, Kelley couldn’t say if she’d ever been in love. Sure, when she and Hope were together, she thought it was love, but a lot of late-night best friend therapy with Alex made her realize that it wasn’t, not even close. After years of watching the people around her find love and a purpose outside of soccer, Kelley had started to wonder if she was ever going to get there. 

She saw Alex with Serv, college sweethearts, and how he was so incredibly supportive of her and her goals. Dating and then being married to the face of women’s soccer, a very beautiful face at that, can’t always be easy. And even when their jobs called them to opposite sides of the country, they still made it work. 

She saw Christen and Tobin, two of the shyest people Kelley had ever met, start to build a life together outside of the public eye. Kelley has been friends with Christen since her sophomore year in college and she couldn’t imagine life without her. Where Kelley was bouncing off the walls, Christen was calm. When Kelley was angry, Christen was the one to pull her back and tell her to take deep breaths. Seeing her blossom through her relationship with Tobin was one of the highlights for Kelley over the last few years. 

She saw Ashlyn and Ali, two people who spent the better part of ten years following each other around the globe. She thought about Ali, who felt like Jill Ellis had tossed her aside for no reason, and how much she relied on her relationship with Ash to keep her going. She thought about how impactful it had been for the two of them to share their love with the world, even when it seemed like the scariest thing to do. She thought about how happy she was to be invited to their wedding, a celebration of that love. 

Would people see Kelley and Emily in any of those ways? Kelley didn’t think of herself as a trailblazer in any sense of the word, but could she follow in those footsteps of her friends? Being around Emily had made her start to think that maybe, just maybe, she could. 

*** 

Thanksgiving was everything Emily hoped it would be. Her extended family all descended on the Sonnett house that morning, cousins and grandparents and boozy aunts filling her home with laughter. And Kelley, well Kelley fit in just fine. Emily introduced her to everyone as her girlfriend, which meant more hugs and sloppy kisses on their cheeks. While Emily helped her mom with dinner, Kelley was playing in the backyard with all the little cousins. She was streaking up and down the lawn, trying to avoid getting caught in a game of freeze tag. Emily must have been staring too long because her mother nudged her lightly in the shoulder. 

“She seems pretty great, Emily.” 

“Mom, you’ve met her before now.” Emily rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, but before she wouldn’t have sat there and let your aunt go on and on to her about you finding a ‘nice man’.” 

“What?!” Emily whipped her head around, looking for her alcoholic aunt from the backwoods in Georgia. 

“Don’t worry, your father already talked to her. Well, threatened her actually.” Emily’s mom chuckled. 

“Good.” Emily turned back to the stuffing. 

“She’s a keeper, sweetheart. Don’t let her get away.” Her mom hugged her briefly before continuing to mash the potatoes. 

Later that night, Emma forced the family into the living room for a viewing of _A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving_ , a holiday tradition for the Sonnetts. Most of the extended family had left, except those that flew in or had too much to drink. Emily was staring daggers at her aunt from across the room, pulling Kelley into her side on the couch. Kelley was able to put two and two together, smiling before planting a kiss on her girlfriend’s lips. Emily’s aunt choked on her wine and excused herself to the restroom, causing the two of them to break apart and laugh. Kelley laid her head on Emily's shoulder, settling in to watch the movie. 

It all felt so domestic, spending the holidays together. Emily showed up at the O’Hara household on Christmas Eve, armed with gifts for the whole family. Kelley answers the door and flings her arms around Emily, resisting the urge to jump up and wrap her legs around too. 

Emily doesn’t think twice when Kelley’s parents ask if she’d like to attend mass with them. Emily never considered herself devoutly religious, more of an Easter/Christmas Catholic, but the domesticity of it all appealed to her. Kelley held her hand in the pew through the whole service. 

“You know, when my siblings and I were younger, we used to try and keep each other awake as long as possible, hoping we’d hear Santa.” Kelley says, laying on her side, looking into Emily's drooping eyes and tucking hair behind her ear. 

Emily smiles. “Did you ever hear him?” 

“No, I’m pretty sure that once I was, like, eight or nine my mom started dosing our milk with Benadryl. I don’t have proof, but we weren’t quiet when we stayed up. One time, we were playing monkey in the middle and Jerry broke a window.” Kelley giggles and Emily’s eyes go wide. 

“You guys broke a window on Christmas Eve? Your parents probably wanted to kill you!” 

“Hey, I didn’t break anything. Erin threw the ball and Jerry, like the scaredy-cat he is, ducked. I was simply an innocent bystander! But yeah, we were in big trouble. Mom told us she was going to tell Santa to not bother stopping at our house, which of course led to three crying kids. Instead, Santa left a note saying no one could open their presents until we had cleaned our rooms and helped make breakfast. My mom is a genius.” 

“That and you were a hellion. What am I saying? You’re still a hellion!” Kelley shoved her lightly before curling in close to Emily’s chest. 

“I am too, just so you know.” She says without looking back. 

“What?” 

“I think I’m falling in love with you too.” Emily didn’t say anything, she just squeezed Kelley tight, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. 

The next morning, Emily is jostled awake. “Em! Em, wake up! It’s Christmas!” 

Emily rolled over. “Kelley, please let me sleep. It’s only... 6:00 AM? Are you kidding me?” She shoved her face back into her pillow. 

“Come on, I’ll make your mimosa extra strong.” Kelley was now on top of Emily, straddling her. 

“You better.” 

*** 

A few days later, the two of them were waiting in the airport for their plane to Florida for Ali and Ashlyn’s wedding. Kelley sat with her legs resting on Emily’s lap while she read her book and Emily just people-watched, tapping her fingers against Kelley’s leggings absentmindedly. They had about twenty minutes before boarding when Emily’s phone rang. She checked the caller ID, pushing Kelley off her. 

“I have to take this. Don’t leave without me.” 

“You checked a bag; they literally cannot leave without you.” Kelley grins. 

Emily walked away from their gate and down the other end of terminal before picking up. “Hey, coach, what’s up?” 

The boarding announcement pulls Kelley out of her reading, looking around for Emily, who hadn’t come back from her phone call. The first group boarding, then the second. The attendant was announcing a final boarding call when Emily came sprinting to the gate. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I lost track of time.” Kelley noticed her eyes were a little bloodshot, like she had been crying. Kelley could swear she smelled tequila but, in the rush to get on the plane, she forgot about it. 

Kelley fell asleep on Emily’s shoulder before they even made it to the tarmac. That was one of her superpowers, Emily thought. Kelley could fall asleep anywhere. Emily, on the other hand, was pretty sure she couldn’t sleep right now if she tried. 

Emily could think of a million reasons why her club coach would be calling her but telling her a trade was being finalized that would send her to Orlando was certainly not one of them. She was glad that she’d decided to walk away to take the call, especially once the tears started falling, but now she wasn’t sure how to face Kelley. She felt ashamed when she stopped at one of the airport bars for a shot of tequila. She told herself it was to help with the nerves, but really it was to numb the sadness she could feel building up. They were about to be surrounded by friends to celebrate Ali and Ash and their love. It didn’t seem like an appropriate time to tell her girlfriend that she was being shipped off to the other side of the country and being replaced by some teenager. She knew she shouldn’t keep this a secret, but if they could just get through this wedding, through this weekend, Emily would tell her. 

When they got off the plane, Emily’s guilty conscience was making her jittery and Kelley noticed. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, a hint of concern in her voice. 

“Yep.” Emily wouldn’t look at her. 

“Okay.” Kelley didn’t sound convinced. “Hey, what was that phone call about earlier? You were gone for a while.” 

“Nothing, just a work call.” 

*** 

“You know, it’s not very nice to try and upstage the bride, or brides on their wedding day. Ali will not be happy if you look more beautiful than her.” Emily smiled when Kelley walked out of the hotel bathroom in her dress. It was a deep navy, almost black, that fell to just above her knees and hugged every one of her curves. 

“You like?” Kelley sauntered over to Emily, sitting on her lap. 

“I like. I like it a lot.” Emily said, her nose nuzzling just under Kelley’s jaw. 

“Oh no you don’t! Come on, get dressed. There will be plenty of time for that later.” Kelley says as she stands. 

“Promise?” Kelley smacks her butt as Emily walks into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door. 

Ten minutes later, Emily posed in the door frame, showing off her burgundy jumpsuit and Kelley’s jaw dropped. Sure, she had seen Emily dressed up before, but this seemed different. Maybe it was because Emily had called Kelley the day after being invited to the wedding and asked what to wear so they didn’t clash. Or maybe it was because she knew there was a pretty good chance that she’d be helping Emily out of it later. Kelley always felt Emily looked her best on the field, minus the whole pulling her socks over her knees thing, but this came in at a close second. 

Everything about Ash and Ali’s wedding was beautiful. The venue, the weather, the flowers, all of it. They found seats between Alex, Crystal, and their husbands for the ceremony, and then struggled to hold in giggles when Sydney forgot to tell everyone they could sit back down. When Ali and Ash exchanged vows, Emily gripped Kelley’s hand tight, lacing their fingers together. Kelley pressed a soft kiss to her exposed shoulder before resting her head there. 

Emily didn’t feel like she deserved it. She hated that she was lying to Kelley, and she wasn’t even sure why. It’s not like they played in the same city now, so living apart wasn’t the issue. Sure, Portland and Salt Lake are a whole hell of a lot closer than Orlando and Salt Lake, but they could manage, right? _Not if you keep lying, idiot._ Emily thinks to herself. 

One thing is for sure, Ali and Ash know how to throw a party. The music was blaring, and the alcohol was free flowing. It reminded Emily of that night in France, even more so when Kelley pressed herself into Emily, moving to the music. This time though, Emily didn’t internally freak out, she just gripped Kelley’s hips and moved with her. A slow song comes next and Kelley turns, looping her arms behind Emily’s head. 

“Come here often?” Emily smiles. 

“Only when there’s a hot blonde to dance with.” 

“Really? I’ll keep an eye out if you help me look for a hot brunette, preferably one not wearing any underwear. Let's case the place.” 

Kelley smacks her lightly on the back of her neck. “How did you know I’m not wearing any underwear?” 

“I didn’t, until just now.” Emily starts to smile, her lips curling like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. 

Kelley pulls her close and kisses her hard, pushing her tongue into Emily’s mouth. It might have been a little too PG-13 for the middle of the dance floor, but they didn’t care. 

Eventually, they took a break, finding their seats at the same table as Tobin, Christen and Alex. Emily dropped Kelley into a seat before turning back to grab water from the bar. Tobin doesn’t say anything, but she watches Emily take two shots before coming back to the table. 

Hours later, once guests had started trickling out, Emily is all but passed out in Kelley’s lap. Her head was resting limply on Kelley’s chest while Kelley had her arms around her waist. 

“Geez, how much did she drink?” Alex asks as she sat back down at the table, offering a glass of water. 

“Not that much, honestly. I think she’s just exhausted and it’s all hitting her.” Kelley says as Emily shifts slightly. 

“So, this is the real deal, Kel?” Christen asks, though the way she looks at Kelley says she already knew the answer. 

“I think so?” She didn’t really mean for it to come out like a question. “She’s pretty incredible. Even when she’s passed out drunk.” Kelley drops a kiss to the top of Emily’s head and Alex makes a gagging sound. 

After sending the newlyweds off with a display of sparklers, Kelley was pouring Emily into the Uber. It was only a few minutes' drive to the hotel, but Emily managed to pass out with her head against the window. Kelley wracked her brain, trying to recall how much she saw Emily drink. She’s never been a lightweight, at least in all the time Kelley’s known her, but she was falling-down drunk right now. Had she slipped more drinks while Kelley wasn’t looking? Why would she do that? 

Kelley helps her through the door of their hotel suite and not ten seconds later, Emily made a mad dash to the bathroom, making it just in time. Kelley sat on the floor next to her and started rubbing her back. They sat that way for nearly an hour before Emily finally seemed to have nothing left to throw back up. Kelley grabs a hand towel off the counter to wipe her face. They sit back against the wall of the bathtub and Kelley sees Emily start to cry. 

“Em, it’s okay. It happens to the best of us.” But Emily keeps crying, bawling even. “Em, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Now Kelley’s concerned. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Kel. I’m sorry.” She says between sobs. 

“Babe, it’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay. But you have to talk to me.” 

“I lied, I’m sorry I lied. Please, Kelley, I’m so sorry.” 

“What did you lie about? Em, you can tell me anything.” Kelley searches her face, trying to wipe away her tears. 

“No, I can’t!” Emily shouts, causing Kelley to jerk backward. 

“Emily, please tell me what’s going on.” 

“I’m going to Orlando!” Emily yells to no one in particular. 

“Baby, we’re already here.” Kelley was trying desperately to understand. Was Emily so drunk she didn’t know where she was? 

“Well, my coach says I’m staying here forever.” 

And then, Kelley got it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think we were getting through this without some more drama, did you? I hope you enjoyed! Drop a comment and let me know what you liked, I love reading your reactions and they help with inspiration!


	10. It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Because, even if you don’t want me to be, I was worried about you.”
> 
> __  
> Title is Bob Dylan

_“Well, my coach says I’m staying here forever.”_

Kelley didn’t know what to say at first, she didn’t know how to comfort Emily, who had collapsed into her lap while the sobs wracked her body. She finally pulled her up, made her brush her teeth, and carried her to the bed. She held the covers up and let Emily slide in underneath. When she laid down, Kelley expected Emily to pull her into a hug as she fell asleep, not for her to climb on top of her and start kissing her. 

“Em...” Kelley pulled away from the kiss. 

“Please? I just don’t want to think right now.” And Emily crashed their lips back together. 

Kelley knew that this was a bad idea, but she also knew she couldn’t refuse Emily anything, especially tonight. She slid her hands under the t-shirt she had forced Emily into just a few minutes ago and deepened the kiss, while Emily’s hands found their way between Kelley’s legs. 

When they finished, both spent and breathing heavily, Kelley had hoped to pull Emily into her arms and comfort her as she fell asleep. What she didn’t expect was her girlfriend turning away and putting as much distance as she could between the two of them. Kelley should have known right then that this was going to be something major. 

Kelley hadn’t told Emily that she had booked the hotel room for the rest of the week, since January camp was in Orlando as well. At the time, it seemed like it would be a cute, romantic surprise. But now, she was grateful that she wouldn’t have to drag an emotional, hungover Emily out of bed the next morning. It took Kelley a long time to fall asleep. She listened to the steady breathing coming from the other side of the bed and thought about how badly she wanted to wrap Emily as tight as she could and reassure her that everything was going to be okay. But she didn’t even believe it herself. She knew that Emily would thrive wherever she was, that she could handle the soccer aspect of this without a problem. She remembered that night in Emily's bed in Portland when she had divulged to Kelley just how little self-confidence she had. How she was just waiting for something like this to happen. 

It made it worse that she was traded away because of some teenager. She was angry at the Thorns front office for trading away one of their best defenders for another (unproven) forward on a team that was already heavy on offense. Kelley knew that Sophia had done nothing wrong and didn’t deserve her anger but still it was there, and it would be hard to face her in a few days' time at camp. 

_Camp._ She imagined something like this wouldn’t stay quiet for long, since the draft would be happening just after they left. It was going to be tough enough for Emily and it would surely be made worse if the news broke before Emily had told her friends. 

All she wanted was to show Emily that she was wanted, that Kelley wanted her. She didn’t care that Orlando was farther away, she had enough frequent flyer miles to last her quite a while. And they still had a few months before the season, plus qualifying and the She Believes Cup. She thought that maybe she could stay with Emily until then and help her try to adjust. She would do all she could to try and help Emily see the good in this situation. 

The next morning, when she woke, Kelley reached around for Emily, but was met with empty sheets. She sat bolt upright, looking around for Emily. She heard the shower running and laid back down on the bed, waiting for her girlfriend to come out. Kelley must have dozed back off because, suddenly, she was shaken awake. 

“Kel, we’re going to miss our flight! Come on, I can’t believe you didn’t set an alarm!” 

It took a minute for Kelley to catch up and understand what was going on, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “It was supposed to be a surprise.” 

“What?” 

“We’re staying here ‘til camp. Well, if you want to. I cancelled our flight and Lindsey is bringing your gear.” 

“Oh.” 

“Please come back to bed.” Kelley said, groggily. 

Emily stood near the foot of the bed. “I think I’m going to go for a run.” 

Kelly looked up at her and was met with sad eyes. “Come back to bed for a little while and I’ll go with you after.” 

“No, that’s okay, you go back to sleep. I won’t be gone too long.” 

*** 

Kelley expected her to be gone maybe an hour. After two, she started to get worried. She contemplated calling Lindsey or Emma to see if she’d contacted them. But then she would have to explain why and the news about Emily’s trade wasn’t hers to talk about. For a moment, she worried that Emily had just gone to the airport and flew back to Portland anyway. 

It was late afternoon when Emily came back. Kelley had been near hysterics, having seen that Emily had left her phone on the bathroom counter, giving Kelley no way to contact her. 

“Where have you been? I was so worried! I thought you’d been hurt! I was about to start calling hospitals!” Kelley shrieked. 

“I was running, Kel. I told you where I was going, calm down.” 

“Yeah, for four hours? Since when did you become a marathon runner?” 

“There was walking too, I just wanted to clear my head.” 

Kelley let out a huge sigh. “I get that, Em, I really do. But after last night, I was scared.” 

She could see on Emily’s face that she didn’t want to think about last night, let alone talk about it. She shifted her weight nervously and couldn’t make eye contact. 

“Em, if you don’t want to talk about it right now, that’s okay. But eventually we’ll have to.” 

Emily turned to look at Kelley. “Why?” 

“Why what?” Kelley cocked her head in confusion. 

“Why do _we_ have to talk about it?” Gesturing between the two of them. 

“Em, this is a big deal.” Kelley moved toward Emily. 

“I know that, but it’s _my_ big deal, not yours.” Emily snapped and Kelley took a step back. 

“You don’t think this affects me too? I’m your girlfriend.” 

“Yeah, but this isn’t happening to you. It’s happening to me.” 

“I get that, but if you let me help --” 

“How could you possibly help right now?” Emily cut her off, a bitterness in her voice Kelley had never heard before. 

“You know, you’re not the first person to get traded away. Did you forget that this happened to me a year ago?” 

“Of course, you find a way to make this about you.” Emily barked out a laugh, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Kelley snapped back. She was trying really hard to keep her cool, but it was becoming increasingly more difficult. 

“It means that everything is always about you. Perfect Kelley who can do no wrong. Kelley who has enough relationship baggage to fill the fucking plane. Kelley who sleeps with people and tells them it meant nothing. Kelley who has no backbone and can’t make her own decisions until she’s backed into a corner. For once, this is about me and no one else.” Emily was gesticulating wildly now. 

Kelley could feel the tears starting to roll down her cheeks. She’d never seen this Emily before. Deep in the rational part of her brain, she knew that Emily was upset and lashing out. But the rest of her brain was hurt, really hurt by Emily’s words. In a matter of seconds, she had managed to break down the self-confidence Kelley had been working to build over the past few months. Emily was so much more observant than anyone gave her credit for. 

“As opposed to you, the person who holds everything in until she implodes and leaves the people around her to pick up the pieces and put her back together?” Kelley knew it was a low blow after last night, but this Emily didn’t deserve her sympathy right now. “I’ll leave you here to wallow by yourself. Call me when you’re ready to start acting like an adult.” She pushed past Emily and slammed the door behind her. 

*** 

When Emily had left the hotel that morning, she didn’t mean to forget her phone. She hated running without music, but she didn’t want to go back in that room, not now anyway. So, she took off on her own, listening to the sound of her feet pounding the cement. Her watch told her that she’d run six miles, which was enough to turn back and walk to the hotel. The problem was that Emily had no idea where she was. She was so incredibly lost and couldn’t call anyone for help. She wished she could call Kelley to pick her up. But, for all she knew, Kelley was so mad that she wouldn’t pick up the phone (not that Emily would blame her). She wished she could call Ali, who would come and get her, no questions asked. She knew that Ashlyn would tag along and give Emily shit since it was the day after their wedding. All in jest, of course. She had to walk into a local coffee shop and ask for directions. The barista had been nice enough to even draw her a map on the back of a napkin, though it was barely legible. She tried to follow the directions as best she could but still ended up in circles before long. This place was supposed to be her new home? Well, she already hated it. 

As soon as Kelley left the hotel room, Emily felt terrible. Kelley had done nothing wrong, done nothing but support her. But Emily was just so _mad._ She was mad at the Thorns, mad at the Pride, mad at Sophia Smith, mad at herself, mad at the world. She had never, even for a second, imagined playing anywhere but Portland. That was her home, where her soccer career had started. It had everything. Her favorite coffee, favorite brunch place, and her friends. _Lindsey._ What was she supposed to do without Lindsey living a few minutes away? How was she supposed to survive without her best friend? 

It wasn’t that Orlando wasn’t a good team, even if they’d been sitting near the bottom of the table at the end of the season. Ali was one of Emily’s idols and she knew she could learn a lot, but it wasn’t Portland. 

But, if she was being honest, this is what she had been waiting for. She knew that eventually someone would notice that she wasn’t on the same level as her teammates like Lindsey or Tobin. She knew that after royally screwing up in Utah, it seemed like only a matter of time before the Thorns realized how much better off they could be without her. 

How was she supposed to cope with seeing less of Kelley? It was one thing when she was injured and didn’t have to worry about her game schedule or traveling with her team. Even now that she was going to be back playing, the short plane ride would make it easy enough to see each other on a semi-regular basis. If Tobin and Christen could do it, why couldn’t they? 

But Orlando was at least a six-hour trip from Salt Lake. Emily knew, she had checked back in the airport. That meant that visiting each other probably wouldn’t happen much outside of the times their teams played each other or at National Team camps (provided Emily could keep getting call ups). And even then, it’s not like they’d get to spend any real amount of time together. Emily had gotten so used to her presence over the past few months, it was hard to picture a life where Kelley wasn’t always around. She was used to the way Kelley liked to leave little notes everywhere for Emily to find. Sometimes they were stuck to the bathroom mirror or to her post-workout smoothie, sometimes on her face when she woke up later than Kelley. She was finally starting to get used to Kelley’s cooking, and she loved that sometimes she would add some kind of meat just for Emily’s benefit, not everyone could survive on veggies alone the way Kelley could. 

Emily sat down on the hotel bed, head in her hands. All she wanted to do was apologize, to tell Kelley she hadn’t meant any of it. She stood up, forcing back tears, and left the room. She had to find Kelley; she couldn’t let her think for even a minute longer that Emily felt that way. She hurdled down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. She took off, running toward the exit when she stopped. 

Kelley hadn’t gone far at all, sitting at a table in the hotel coffee shop. Emily approached her, noticing her cup was untouched. When she got closer, Kelley turned to see her. Her face was streaked from tears, her hair mussed from running her hands through it countless times. 

“Come to yell at me some more?” Kelley asked bitterly and Emily's heart sank. 

“No.” 

“What do you want then?” 

“Why are you here?” Emily asked. 

“Oh, did you need more room to sulk? I’ll go, don’t worry. Screw you!” Kelley stood up abruptly and made to leave the café. 

“No! I just meant I figured you would have gone farther than just downstairs, that maybe you went shopping or on a walk.” 

“Because, even if you don’t want me to be, I was worried about you.” Kelley scoffed, pushing past Emily. 

“Kel, wait!” Emily grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry.” 

“For what, exactly?” Kelley snatched her hand back and crossed her arms. 

“For everything. I’m sorry I said those things, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry I ran off this morning and for not letting you know I was okay. And I’m sorry for getting wasted last night in front of our friends and making you take care of me. I’m sorry, I was being a jerk and taking it out on you” Kelley’s eyes softened. “I didn’t mean to forget my phone this morning and then I got lost. And the stupid barista can’t draw a map to save his life, so I got even more lost. I didn’t mean to be gone so long. I shouldn’t have left at all. I don’t know why I’m acting like this; I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I’m so sorry, I--” 

But Kelley stops her rambling, pulling Emily into a bear hug. “Shhh... it’s okay, it’s going to be okay.” Emily didn’t realize that somewhere along her speech, she had started crying. Kelley used one hand to stroke the back of her head and the other to keep Emily pressed against her. To the other guests in the hotel, this probably looked awkward, but they stayed that way for a long while. 

*** 

Eventually, the two made their way back up to the room, where they stayed for the rest of the night. Kelley had ordered a bunch of room service and they spent the night giggling at a new Netflix show. They sat out on the balcony to watch the sunset. Kelley had done well to find a hotel overlooking the water, even if it wasn’t the ocean. They sat on the chaise lounge, Emily between Kelley’s legs and her back pressed into Kelley’s chest, their hands laced together around Emily's middle. 

Kelley rested her chin on Emily’s shoulder. “What do you want to do tomorrow?” 

Emily grinned as she turned her head to face her girlfriend, blue eyes meeting hazel. “Try and learn to surf again.” 

Kelley let out an overly exasperated sigh. “Oh Lord, here we go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama-rama! I hope y'all are still enjoying this! I'm thinking maybe 2-3 more chapters but who knows. Leave a comment to let me know what you liked/didn't like and your thoughts!


	11. The Desperate Kingdom of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You’re losing a member of your team.”
> 
> \--  
> Title is PJ Harvey

Ali and Ash had invited them to their big New Year’s Eve house party, but they declined, opting to spend another night, just the two of them, on their balcony. Well, they declined because Emily was terrified of what might happen if she started drinking again and Kelley knew it. She could tell by the way Emily started wringing her hands in her lap and was looking everywhere but at Kelley. 

“Can’t it just be us? We only have a few more days before everyone else shows up.” Emily hoped she was coming off as nonchalant. 

Kelley took her by the shoulders and pulled Emily into her chest on the bed, squeezing her tight. “Whatever you want, babe.” 

So, they ordered an obscene amount of food and Kelley persuaded Emily into one glass of champagne at midnight. They sat out on their hotel balcony and watched the firework displays in the distance. Emily was actually proud of herself for making it to midnight, for the last few years she had passed out long before the ball dropped. Having Kelley’s arms around her helped, that was for sure. It was the first time Emily had ever had a real New Year's kiss and all she could think about was how badly she wanted to pull away and whisper (or shout, to be honest) those three little words into Kelley’s ear. But they had only been an official couple for about two months, way too early to be talking about love, even if she was almost certain about her feelings for Kelley. 

Kelley had been a godsend after their big blow-up a few days ago. Without asking, she could tell when Emily needed space, when she needed a distraction, and, most of all, when she just needed Kelley. They had gone to the beach and rented surfboards for the day. Kelley was continually baffled that someone as strong and balanced on the field as Emily was, could be so impossibly uncoordinated off of it. She really tried to teach Emily, but they both usually ended up in a fit of laughter, giggling when Emily ate sand or slipped off the back of the board. Eventually, Emily gave up and went to shore. She sat in her chair and watched Kelley catch some waves on her own. Watching her in her happy place made Emily smile. Seeing Kelley’s ripped body in her bikini also made her smile, but for different reasons. 

Besides her family, the only other person to know about the trade ahead of time was Lindsey. Emily couldn’t bear the idea that her best friend might accidentally find out before she had the chance to explain. She sat on the phone that night, feet dangling in the hotel pool long after the other guests had left. Kelley offered to sit with her during the conversation, but Emily knew this was just for her and Lindsey. So, when she pressed the call button on Facetime, she took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she knew was going to be one of the most difficult conversations she’d ever had. 

At first, Lindsey was indignant. “No fucking way, Son. They can’t do that to you, I won’t let them.” 

“I love you for that, Linds, I really do. But I don’t think this is something you get a say in.” 

“Like hell I don’t! Look Sonny, I don’t mean to sound conceited but it’s my face on the side of Providence Park, I’ll go to the front office and tell them we’re a package deal. You don’t get one without the other.” 

Emily’s heart swelled with her best friend’s words. She didn’t think Lindsey would actually be able to change this but the thought of her going in and demanding that they couldn’t be split up touched Emily in a way only Lindsey could. 

“I don’t think you’d survive the humidity in Florida. Too used to that Rocky Mountain air.” Emily teased. 

As their conversation continued, Lindsey cried. Which then made Emily cry and they sat there on the phone, crying together for about an hour. When they were saying goodbye, Lindsey told her that she was emailing Dawn to request that they room together for this camp. 

“Kelley can come hang sometimes but I want all Sonny, all the time. At least while I can.” 

“I think that sounds amazing.” 

“You know I love you, right Son? You’re my best friend in the entire world.” 

“Well, it wouldn’t kill you to say it every once in a while!” Emily feigned annoyance and Lindsey rolled her eyes. “I love you too, Linds.” 

After hanging up, Emily stays by the pool. She doesn’t know how long she sits there but it must have been a long time. She felt Kelley’s arms wrap around her and that was all it took for her to break down again. Kelley took her back up to their room and to their bed. Emily latched herself to her girlfriend, burying her face into Kelley’s stomach, leaving tear stains on her shirt. 

*** 

Soon enough, their mini vacation was over, and it was time for camp. When Lindsey arrived in their room, the crying started all over again. 

Kelley was rooming with Allie, who was able to hold her attention, stopping her from worrying about Emily non-stop. At the first team dinner, Kelley laid eyes on Sophia. She told herself again and again that this poor girl had no control of the situation, but that didn’t stop Kelley from shooting daggers with her eyes. 

Sam was the one leading her around and introducing her to everyone, because that’s just who Sam is. If anyone in that group of youngsters was a future captain, it was Sam, Kelley thought. They were making their way toward the table Emily was sharing with Lindsey, Rose, and Mal and Kelley felt her blood start to boil. 

“Are you okay? Your head looks like it might explode.” Alex says, patting her on the head. She follows Kelley’s line of sight. “Wormy, are you jealous? I don’t think Sonny will go for jailbait; she obviously likes them older.” She nudges Kelley lightly in the ribs. 

“What? No, I’m not jealous. And don’t call me old!” 

“I said _older_ , which you are.” 

“Semantics.” Kelley says, hitting Alex in the face with a grape. 

*** 

The Thorns front office called Emily while she was at camp to let her know the trade was going to be announced the following morning. They thanked her for her time with the team and wished her the best of luck in Orlando. Lindsey sent an SOS text and Kelley snuck into their room, holding Emily close. 

Emily was hyper-focused during training that day. She and Kelley were in separate groups, meaning Emily practiced in the morning and did weights after while Kelley was the opposite. Of all days, this was the one they wouldn’t get to see each other until dinner. Thankfully, Lindsey was in Emily’s group and she stuck close to her best friend all day long. 

Kelley saw the ESPN notification on her phone during a water break. 

_“Portland Thorns_ _secure_ _first_ _overall pick in 2020 NWSL draft_ _with_ _a deal that includes the trade of World Cup defender, Emily_ _S_ _o_ _nnett_ _and the rights to_ _Australian_ _international, Caitlin_ _Foord,_ _to the Orlando Pride_ _”_

Kelley shut her phone off and went to get her drink from Dawn, but she is, of course, accosted by Alex and Allie. 

“Is this for real, Kel?” Alex brandished her phone, the same notification on her screen. 

Suddenly at a loss for words, Kelley just nods her head. Alex, to her credit, doesn’t ask anything else, just giving Kelley’s shoulder a squeeze before they head back onto the field. 

By dinner, the whole team knows, and Emily can feel everyone’s eyes on her as she sat down between Kelley and Lindsey. She wasn’t sure what was worse, that everyone knew or that everyone knew and were talking about it behind her back. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Kelley gives her thigh a squeeze and a small smile. 

“It’s going to be okay, Em. I promise.” 

It’s so soft, Emily almost believes it. But then, Vlatko, bless his heart, gets everyone’s attention to _congratulate_ Sophia and wish Emily the best. It doesn’t make her feel better, but Sophia’s face was beet-red. In the middle of Vlatko’s talk, Kelley dropped her fork on the porcelain plate so loudly, it couldn’t have been an accident. Kelley could handle everyone’s attention on her, but Emily couldn’t, at least not in this moment. 

The interruption makes their coach lose his train of thought and Emily places her hand on top of Kelley’s and intertwines their fingers, a silent “thank you.” 

Later that evening, Ali and Ash steal Emily away to their room, claiming they needed to get a head start on teammate bonding. Kelley was so thankful that Emily would have them here in Florida, that they would be her silent protectors and confidants. 

Allie had passed out in their room right after dinner, so Kelley let her be and found herself at Lindsey’s door. 

“Oh, hey Kel. Sonny’s not here, she’s in Ali and Ash’s room.” 

“I know, just thought maybe you wanted to hang out.” 

Lindsey opened the door and Kelley dove into Emily’s bed. 

“Are you doing okay?” Kelley asks. 

“Me? Yeah, I’ll be alright. It’s going to be hard and weird, but I’ll survive. I should be asking _you_ that question though.” 

Kelley looks at Lindsey, a little surprised. “Of course, I’m okay. It's not like we weren’t going to be doing long distance anyways. And I definitely wouldn't want her getting stuck in Utah, she would hate it.” Kelley sounded so sure; she almost believed her own words. 

“She’d be happy anywhere Kel, if she was with you.” 

Kelley focused on the tiny water spot on the ceiling to stop herself from crying. She had been trying her absolute hardest to keep it all together this camp, for Emily’s sake. Her body was exhausted, it had been nearly six months since she trained with the national team, and so was her mind. 

“You know, you’re allowed to be upset about this too.” Lindsey says, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. 

Kelley rolls to her side so she could see Lindsey. “What do you mean?” 

“Just because you’re not the one getting traded doesn’t mean you can’t be mad about it. I’m still fuming.” 

“Yeah, but the trade does affect you, Linds. You’re losing a member of your team.” 

“So are you, Kel.” 

Kelley shakes her head a little too violently for Lindsey to believe it. “She and I were already going to be apart.” 

“Yeah, but Oregon and Utah are a lot closer than Florida and Utah. You won’t get to be like Tobin and Christen, you won’t get to visit as much.” 

“Lindsey, stop. Please.” Kelley wasn’t going to be able to hold back her tears much longer. 

“I’m sorry, Kel. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to make sure you knew it’s okay to be mad that the girl you love got fucked over and is going to be across the country.” 

Kelley froze, “ _t_ _he girl you love”._

“How did you...” Is all she can squeak out. 

“It’s how you carry yourself when you’re around her. Like you’re shielding her from everything, especially during this shit storm of a week. All it took when I called you to come to Portland was one sentence.” Kelley starts to interrupt, but Lindsey plows on. “I know you guys weren’t ‘officially’ together at that point, which I call bullshit, by the way. Sonny was hooked the moment you kissed her in France and, even if you don’t want to admit it, I think you were too.” Kelley sighed. Lindsey had hit the nail on the head. “I know you have a bad track record with those words, I don’t know why but I can tell by the way Sonny talks about you. She feels the same way, you know. She won’t say it, but I know.” 

Kelley doesn’t even bother trying to hide her tears anymore. 

“I just want the best for her. Maybe she’ll thrive in Orlando and all my worrying will have been for nothing, but I’m so scared for her. I know Ali, Ash, and even Alex will take care of her, but I want to be the one that gets to do that. I want to be there when she had a bad training, or after a loss. It’s just not fair, Linds.” Lindsey had crawled out of her bed and was hugging Kelley. “She already feels like no one wants her or thinks she’s good, even before this trade stuff happened, and now she’s going to double down on that. I just... I know what it’s like to think no one wants you. How do I help her when she’s two thousand miles away?” 

Lindsey doesn’t really have a response, doesn’t know what she could say to help Kelley feel better. So, she does what she can, she lets Kelley cry in her arms. 

Down the hall in Ali and Ash’s room, Emily was getting the low-down on life in Orlando. They were telling her about all these amazing restaurants and things to do. They even offered to let her stay in their guestroom until she got settled. Emily felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude toward these two women, and before she knew it, she was crying. 

“Oh, sweetie, don’t cry! We’re going to have a blast together!” Ali cooed, wrapping an arm around Emily. 

“I- I- I know. I just... thank you.” Emily wipes away her tears. “It’s just a lot, you know?” 

Ali nodded her head and smiled back. “I can only imagine.” 

“Kind of a dick move to announce it while we’re here.” Ashlyn snaps from her perch on the bed. “But Son, we’re here for you, no matter what.” 

Emily nods. “Can I ask you guys something?” 

“Of course.” They say in unison, which causes all three of them to laugh. 

“How did you do it? The long distance. I don’t want to screw this up.” 

Ashlyn sighs, sliding down onto the floor to sit with the other two. “I’m not going to lie to you, Sonny, it’s going to be really hard. You guys are going to have long stretches where you won’t get any meaningful time together. Maybe a night after a game or when you have free time at camp, but it’s never going to feel like enough.” 

“But” Ali cuts in, “you’re going to treasure the time you do get. You guys will have both have to make sacrifices to make it work. But I think you already know that.” 

Emily nods. “I love her, Ali. I haven’t told her, but I do.” 

“Why haven’t you told her?” 

“Because it’s only been like two and half months!” 

“Hang on.” Ash puts her hand up. “I thought you guys got together the night of the final?” 

“That was the first time we kissed but-” 

“Oh, Son. It doesn’t matter when you decided to ‘label it’. You’re in love, that’s a good thing. Don’t hide it because you think it’s too soon. Enjoy it, especially while you guys are in the same place.” Ash smiled. 

“You’ll always have us to lean on when you need us, okay? Whether you think it’s trivial or not.” Ali tightened her grip on Emily’s shoulder. 

Ash stood up, offering her hand and pulling Emily up to her feet. “Now, go find your girl and tell her you love her. My wife and I need some privacy.” She waggles her eyebrows suggestively. 

“Don’t be gross!” Ali whines and it makes Emily laugh. 

It’s late when Emily gets back to the room she was sharing with Lindsey, so she opened the door as quietly as she could. To her surprise, she found her roommate still awake, reading in her bed. Lindsey pressed her index finger to her lips and then pointed to Emily’s bed. 

“You have a stowaway.” Lindsey smiled. 

Emily walked further into the room and saw Kelley, fast asleep in her bed, clutching one of Emily’s sweatshirts like it was a prized possession. Without bothering to change, Emily kicked off her shoes and slid into bed next to her girlfriend. 

Kelley stirred just a little, purring as Emily draped an arm around her and pulled her flush against Emily’s chest. She doesn’t say anything, just keeps her close. Like Ashlyn said, she was going to enjoy this, she was going to soak up every second while they were still together. They could figure everything else out later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a little while! I'm not totally happy with this but I hope you liked it. I love reading your comments, if you feel so inclined, leave one to let me know what you thought!
> 
> Stay safe out there and keep fighting the good fight.


	12. Where I End and You Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "To the moon and back."
> 
> \--  
> Title is Radiohead

The first games in the Olympic qualifying tournament were fairly easy. Though, the Haiti game was _ro_ _ugh_ to say the least and Kelley spent the entire bus ride to the hotel stewing about her performance. She no longer had her bus buddy to vent to, though Emily had offered to sit with her instead of Lindsey. 

“No, I already steal you away from her enough.” 

“Believe it or not, Kel, it’s not stealing if I go along willingly.” Emily smirked, giving her bicep a squeeze. 

“Yeah, but she’s your best friend. You guys have traditions and stuff, that’s important too. Plus, Lindsey only just started being nice to me, I’m not taking any chances.” This makes Emily chuckle. 

“Whatever you say, babe.” 

So, Kelley found herself sitting alone on the bus, completely occupied by her thoughts. She retraced her every step, agonizing over every poor touch and her poor stamina, something that had _never_ been an issue for her. She made a beeline for the room she was sharing with Lindsey, knowing that Emily would follow. They didn’t talk about it. Emily could tell Kelley was agitated so she tried to help her relax, turning on her favorite TV show and rubbing her back gently. 

Suddenly, it’s the semifinal against Mexico. This was the game that really counted, would make or break her hopes for another Olympic medal. Kelley wasn’t stupid, she knew that it was only a matter of time before her body would force her out of the game. More ankle surgery was out of the question and soon enough she would have to hang up her boots. 

She gets the start, something everyone but Kelley thinks is obvious. She sits in the locker room, trying not to overthink everything before she even gets on the pitch. Her leg bounced up and down uncontrollably and she was wringing her hands absentmindedly. Emily watched her from the other side of the locker room. She watched Kelley’s eyes flit around the room nervously, watched the way she picked at the skin just below her thumbnail. She wished she could cross the room and wrap her in a tight hug and tell her everything was going to be okay. 

Soon enough, they’re lining up for the anthem. Kelley closed her eyes and focused on the words to try and calm herself. This was the first truly important game she’d played in since the World Cup final, and even then, she hadn’t gotten to finish the game. Six months had passed now, and all that classic Kelley O’Hara bravado hadn’t found its way back just yet. Sure, everyone felt like the US was a shoo-in this game, but Kelley felt the weight of that statement in her chest. 

As she made her way out onto the field, Kelley felt a hand wrap around her wrist, and she didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was. Emily pulled her back, just for a moment, and hugged her, wishing she could just kiss her girlfriend, but they had decided it was important to keep it professional on the field. 

“Tell me it’s going to be okay, that I won’t fuck it up.” 

The side of Emily’s mouth ticked up just a little. “It’s going to be okay, Kel. Better than okay, you’re going to do amazing.” 

“How do you know?” Kelley pleaded. She hated this side of herself. The side of herself that craved validation, needed proof that she was good. And not just on the field. 

“Because I love you and I believe in you. So, so much, Kelley. You’re a force to be reckoned with and this other team doesn’t stand a chance.” 

Kelley blinks, disbelief written across her face. “You what?” 

“I love you, Kelley Maureen O’Hara. To the moon and back.” Emily smiled at her. Not just her usual soft smile, this one was all teeth and crinkled eyes. Over the past few months, Kelley had realized that was the smile Emily saved just for her. The way her eyes squinted to the point where you couldn’t see them anymore might be Kelley’s favorite part. 

She couldn’t believe her ears. She saw Emily, her blue-grey eyes twinkling with just a hint of mischief. This woman, this beautiful, smart, kind woman in front of her said she was in love. Said that she was in love with _Kelley._ She wanted _Kelley._ She thought about Hope, about how she wished, for years, to hear Hope say those words. And instead, what she got was Hope yelling “I didn’t ask you to come, I don’t want you here!” What she got was a door being slammed in her face. Emily didn’t seem concerned that Kelley hadn’t been able to reciprocate, though Kelley wished she could make the words fall off her lips. Emily just kept smiling, her thumbs rubbing small circles on Kelley’s wrists. It was like the whole world had stopped for just a moment, just for them. The moment is broken when the coaches are yelling at Kelley to get on the field to start the game. 

“I wish I could kiss you right now.” Kelley said, squeezing Emily one more time. 

“There’s plenty of time for that when we celebrate the win!” Emily smacks Kelley’s butt as she runs out onto the field. 

Kelley played like a woman possessed that night. She was everywhere, involved in every play. Sure, she may have gotten a little more physical than necessary, but she blamed the adrenaline. Emily sat on the sidelines, cheering loudly. She had missed being able to see Kelley play, missed seeing her attack the ball in a way that only she could. That’s where Kelley shined, at least in Emily’s mind. She wasn’t afraid to take chances, but she wasn’t careless either. Emily and her teammates were brought to tears, laughing as Kelley lined up for a cross into the box, her plant foot _just_ tapping the ball out of place and whiffing it spectacularly. Emily knew she would pay for it later, but she fell onto the ground from laughing so hard. 

Once the whistle blew, the celebrations began. The real celebrations would come if they beat Canada in the final, but this was the game that mattered. They were going to Tokyo, to the Olympics. Suddenly, Kelley’s teammates enveloped her in tight hugs. In all the noise, Kelley looked up and found Emily’s eyes. It wasn’t hard, Kelley had been able to find Emily in a crowd long before they started dating. 

Kelley ran at her, full speed, and launched herself into Emily’s arms. 

“We did it!” She cried, Emily catching her and holding her in the air. 

Later that night, Lindsey had graciously given the happy couple a few hours alone before Emily had to return to her own room. They sat on the bed, Emily sitting up against the headboard while stroking Kelley’s hair in her lap. She was thoroughly exhausted, barely keeping her eyes open. Playing the full 90 had been more taxing than Kelley had remembered. She found herself hoping she wouldn’t get the start against Canada; the short turnaround would be really tough on her body. 

“You really _love_ me?” Kelley hated how meek she sounded. She was terrified that Emily was going to take it back, blaming it on the heat of the moment. That she only said it to make Kelley feel better. 

“I really do.” Kelley doesn’t need to see Emily’s face; she can hear her smile. 

“But why? I need to know why.” 

“You want to know why I love you?” Kelley nods, feeling a little embarrassed, a little exposed. 

“Because you knit your eyebrows together when you’re concerned, usually about me. Because you will do anything to protect your family and friends. Because you are all about touch, just wanting to feel close to someone. Because you have a soft side that not everyone gets to see, when you let your guard down just a little and show the parts of yourself that you’re afraid of. It feels special when you let me in.” Emily stroked Kelley’s forehead. “Should I keep going?” 

Kelley’s eyes welled with tears as she nodded. No one had ever talked about her like Emily does. No one had ever noticed things about her the way Emily does. 

“Well, have I mentioned how hot you are? Or that you’re _almost_ as good me at dancing?” This makes Kelley laugh. Emily uses her hand to wipe away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks. “Kelley, if you need to know why I love you, I can go on all night. Or at least until Lindsey kicks me out.” 

“I’m sorry.” Kelley whispered. 

“For what?” 

“That I couldn’t say it back.” It’s even quieter, but Emily hears it. 

“Kel, it’s okay. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” Kelley can hear the way she was grinning. 

“What do you mean?” Kelley rolled so she was lying on her back, looking up at Emily. 

“I’d rather you take your time and be sure. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Kelley doesn’t get the start against Canada, but Emily does. Kelley was her biggest supporter on the sideline, reacting every time she touched the ball. She watched Emily trip over absolutely nothing and laughed so hard, tears rolled down her face. _Payback._

As the game dwindled, Vlatko called Kelley up to sub. She expected to be checking in for Emily, not Christen. He wanted her up top, a place she wasn’t sure she’d ever get back to. It was only a few minutes, but it felt freeing, like she found something she thought she had lost. 

Playing with Emily on the same field, watching her back down the right side, was just icing on the cake. 

*** 

The She Believes Cup may be a group of glorified friendlies, but to Emily, this was her chance. Spain was probably the toughest opponent; they were out for blood after the US knocked them out of the World Cup. The night before, Vlatko pulled Emily aside before the team meeting. He told her she was getting the start in right-back. He explained to her that it wasn’t a test, but he wanted to see how she performed against a top-tier team. 

_Sounds_ _like a test to me._ Emily thought as she slid into her seat between Kelley and Lindsey. She felt Kelley give her thigh a tight squeeze when the lineup popped up on the projection screen. 

Kelley leaned in and whispered in her ear. “You’re going to kill it.” 

It was by far the toughest game of the tournament. Sure, England had put up some fight, but the absence of Lucy Bronze was glaring and Christen punished them for it. No, Spain was probably the best team here, maybe even better than the US. Thank the lord for Julie “the back of your head is ridiculous” Ertz saving the day. Emily felt like she played well, but not well enough to _prove_ anything. The opportunities for her to show her coaches that she deserved to be on that Olympic roster were diminishing. Emily didn’t think she would survive being relegated to an alternate again. At that point, she might as well give up on international soccer. Her mind went back to that night in Utah, maybe Amy was right. 

While she should have been celebrating with her teammates, Emily hung back. She tucked her hands inside her sleeves, not realizing just how cold it was, now that she wasn’t racing around. Kelley was waiting for her on the sidelines, smiling and holding Emily’s water bottle for her. 

“Thank you.” Kelley rested her hands on Emily’s shoulders. 

“Em, you’re shivering!” She unzipped her team parka and slid Emily’s hands inside. Emily immediately felt the warmth of Kelley’s body and pressed into it. They stayed that way for a moment, until Carli called them as the rest of the team headed to the locker room. 

On the plane the next morning, Emily asked Lindsey if it was okay to switch seats, at least for a little while. Her best friend smiled and nodded her head. 

“Of course, Sonny. I’m about to pass out anyways. No funny business though!” Emily felt her face flush as Lindsey giggled. 

She walked her way up towards the front of the plane, plopping down into the seat next to her girlfriend. She nuzzled into Kelley’s shoulder, breathing in her scent. She couldn’t explain what the scent was, but it was unmistakably _Kelley._

“Everything okay?” 

“Better now.” Emily said sleepily. 

Sleepy Emily might be her favorite, Kelley thinks. The way her voice is a little raspy and her eyelids flutter every so often. She was always cuddlier in the mornings, whining and pulling Kelley in close when she tried to get up early to work out or make breakfast. When Kelley couldn’t sleep, Emily mumbled incoherently, trying to pay attention as Kelley talked. 

Looking down at her, Kelley knew this was the moment. She took a deep breath, causing Emily’s head to bob a little. “Hey, Em?” 

“Hmm?” 

“I- I love you too.” She felt the anvil that had been sitting on her chest for months, years maybe, break apart and Kelley felt like she could finally breathe. Because she did love Emily, she had for a long time. Emily sat up straight, the sleepy look replaced by something Kelley hadn’t seen before. Something like a mixture of adoration and disbelief. “Sorry it took me so long but- ” 

Emily cut her off with a bruising kiss, earning a wolf whistle from Ashlyn. They pulled apart quickly, remembering they were on a plane with 30 other people. They rest their foreheads together, both smiling. 

“You mean it?” 

“Absolutely.” Kelley grinned. 

“Well, I think it’s time for you to return the favor.” Kelley quirks an eyebrow. “Tell me why.” 

“Have I ever mentioned that you’re smokin’ hot?” Emily playfully smacked Kelley’s arm. “Okay, okay. Because you love to make people laugh. Because you’re always ready to dance, even if it makes you look ridiculous. Because you are the best friend a girl could have, and the best dog mom. Because you’re persistent on a good day, painfully stubborn on bad days. Because you saw me, you believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.” 

Emily’s eyes started to tear up just a little as she placed a chaste kiss on Kelley’s temple. 

“Good lord, just get married why don’t you?!” A voice from behind them cuts through their moment. They both whip their heads around to see AD rolling her eyes, which makes them all burst out laughing. 

*** 

That night, Kelley made her way to the room. As soon as she flopped down onto her bed, her phone vibrated with an Instagram notification. 

_@emilysonnett tagged you in a post_

She clicked on the notification and a picture of the two of them popped up. It was their hug after the Spain game, with Emily’s arms inside Kelley’s jacket and her head resting on Kelley’s shoulder. Someone had caught it on camera, and it made her smile. 

_@emilysonnett: thanks for always keeping me warm kel_

Kelley watched the comments roll in, people fawning over them and calling them adorable. 

Down the hall, Emily had just placed her phone on the nightstand and was pulling the comforter over her when it buzzed. Kelley had commented on her picture and Emily couldn’t help the way her heart soared just a little. 

_@kelleyohara: anytime_ _bby_ _love you_

_@lindseyhoran10: you guys are gross_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed, we finally got to the big moment(s)! I'm not sure how I want to proceed with this. Omit the pandemic and continue on as if it never happened? Or do a time jump to the near future, post-pandemic (with a look back at quarantine)? Let me know your suggestions along with your thoughts on this chapter in the comments!


	13. Darling, Be Home Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That probably wasn't the best cover story."
> 
> __  
> Title is The Lovin' Spoonful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this all ready to go and then things hit the fan yesterday so it's been reworked.

When the governor announced the stay at home order, Kelley was in Atlanta and Emily was in Portland. She had gone back to finish packing her things and send them to Orlando. In the middle of a global pandemic, they were opposite sides of the country, apart. 

“Em, you can’t stay there! The news says that Portland is one of the most highly effected areas in the country! Baby, you need to come home. Please?” Kelley had been frantic for days now, spending hours glued to the TV while doing her own independent research. She found a pattern online and started making her own washable masks. She was cooped up alone in her apartment, what else was she supposed to do? Her parents had told her she was more than welcome to come back home, but she couldn’t risk accidentally exposing them. They were getting older and Kelley wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she got them sick. 

“I’m trying my best! It’s not like there are a ton of flights taking off right now.” This was one of the few occasions that Kelley wished Emily wasn’t so relaxed, wasn’t so easy-going. 

“I’ll drive there and take you home.” Kelley said matter-of-factly. 

“Kelley Maureen O’Hara, you are not driving across the country for me. You just said that Portland is the worst place to be, you’re not coming here.” 

Kelley thought she might cry. The thought of them being apart for an unknown amount of time, especially during a crisis, was unbearable. Emily balanced her, kept her calm. Where she was fire, Emily was water. Tranquil, strong, with an unyielding gentleness that soothed Kelley when her brain started going a million miles an hour. 

“Don’t you want to be with me?” She pouted through the FaceTime screen. 

“Babe, you really think I’d choose being here with Lindsey over being with you? One can only eat so much avocado!” Emily smiled softly. 

“Hey!” Kelley heard Lindsey call from somewhere off screen. “I resent that; I am wonderful company!” They both giggle at Lindsey’s indignation. 

This is what Kelley needs. Alone, she spends too much time allowing herself run through every single worst-case scenario, scrubbing every inch of her apartment until it could be used as a hospital clean room. She can’t handle being still for long periods of time, it's been that way her whole life. In high school, her English teacher let her stand in the back of the classroom instead of sitting, so she could pace if she needed to, as long as she wasn’t being a distraction. In college, she was involved in as many clubs and organizations as her soccer schedule would allow, keeping her racing mind occupied. 

If Emily was with her, she would find ways to keep Kelley occupied. There was an endless supply of TikToks they could learn, recipes they could try, and Emily would probably get her way and force Kelley to finally watch _Gossip Gir_ _l_. If Emily was there, she could get Kelley to _relax._ It was almost like a superpower, the way her mere presence seems to make Kelley feel lighter, feel like things would be okay. And sharing a bed with Emily was something she missed more than anything. It’s been weeks since they’d been able to kiss, let alone have sex. Kelley kept a running list in her head of the first things she wanted to do when they were finally together again, and that was in first place by a mile. 

Another week passed and Kelley thought she might actually be going insane, wondering if she had developed some form of agoraphobia. She had no one to talk to except Bagel, whom Emily had left in her care prior to her _short_ trip to Portland. Her days were planned around the walks they took, that being the only time she left the house. 

She hadn’t seen Emily’s face since yesterday morning, and she hated how much it was affecting her. They normally were on FaceTime at least twice a day, sometimes more when Kelley was feeling particularly needy. But Emily had texted her saying Lindsey had gotten sick and she was taking care of her friend. 

_Sick._ Now she’s exposed, Emily would never be able to come home to her. Why had she let herself be talked out of driving to pick her up? So wrapped up in her doomsday thoughts, she didn’t hear the key turning in the lock. It wasn’t until Bagel started barking that she was brought back to the present. 

There she was. A little ragged looking, her hair tucked up under that stupid baseball cap Kelley wished she hated. At first, she was stunned, like what she saw couldn’t possibly be real. 

“Well? Are you going to hug me or not?” 

Hearing her voice, not the tinny version from over the phone, brought tears to Kelley’s eyes. She raced across the living room and launched herself into Emily’s arms, wrapping her legs around Emily’s waist. 

“You’re here.” Kelley finally says after pulling their mouths apart, resting their foreheads together, breathing heavily. 

“I’m here, baby.” 

“But Lindsey...” 

“Lindsey went to her parents; I didn’t think you’d want a third wheel.” 

“But you said she was sick! I thought you’d been exposed to the virus!” Kelley screeched. 

“Yeah. Looking back at it now, that probably wasn’t the best cover story. I’m sorry I made you worry.” She reached up to peck Kelley’s lips. 

“I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me. To the bedroom, Jeeves!” 

Kelley knocked off her hat while Emily carried her down the hallway. 

*** 

As soon as some restrictions had been lifted, they were both called into market to start practicing with their teams. Kelley leveraged with her team, taking a few extra days off to drive Emily down to Orlando. If Christen really wasn’t going to play, and with Becky gone, Kelley suddenly became the biggest draw for her team, so they definitely wanted to keep her happy. It was only about a seven-hour drive, and neither of them wanted to be separated until it was _absolutely_ necessary. 

Once she had finally gotten from Portland to Atlanta, they barely took their hands off each other for the next few days. Kelley was desperate for physical contact, something she had been starved of while they were separated. Emily had never been one to care that much about holding hands or wrapping someone up in bed, but she did love feeling like she was needed, that she could be the one to help Kelley fulfill these wants. They were never beyond an arm’s length away from each other until Kelley left Orlando. 

Emily’s new apartment wasn’t anything special, it had nice appliances and a big balcony off the living room. It was fully furnished, so there wasn’t much unpacking to do. Kelley stayed two nights, making sure they christened her new place in the most _appropriate_ way. 

“You’re sure you are okay?” Kelley asked for the seventh time (or at least that’s what it feels like to Emily). Her hands rested on Emily’s hips, thumbs creating just a little bit of pressure. 

They were standing outside the Orlando airport, where Kelley had a private plane to take her to Utah. They’d been standing in the kiss-and-cry area for longer than what is normally allowed, but Kelley showed no signs of letting go. 

“I’m sure. It won’t be that long, Kel. We’ve been apart longer than this before.” Emily dropped a kiss to the crown of her head. 

“Doesn’t mean it gets any easier.” Kelley pouted. “I don’t like being away from you Em, for any length of time.” 

“I know, babe. I called the doctor to schedule that surgery to join us at the hip, but they’re kind of busy right now. We’re on the waiting list.” Kelley punches her in the arm and tries not to giggle. 

“I hate you.” She says, but she pulls Emily in close one last time, pressing their lips together. 

“I love you too.” And with that, Kelley turned and walked through the doors of the airport. 

All the players were told that competing in the tournament was 100% optional, that they would still get paid and keep their insurance no matter what. But in Emily’s mind, she couldn’t afford _not_ to play. Even with the postponement of the Olympics, the chances for Vlatko to see her play would be almost nonexistent otherwise. She almost asked Kelley to consider not playing for the sake of her ankles, but she knew that would result in an argument. Plus, she had no interest spending a month cooped up in a hotel if Kelley couldn’t be there too. 

Kelley still called her at least twice a day, every day, wanting to know what Emily had been getting up to. Since players were still very isolated outside of practice, Emily spent most of her time alone in her new apartment. Kelley always listened with rapt attention while Emily went on and on about practices and all the experiences she was having as part of a new club. Emily always tried to flip the conversation around and ask how Kelley’s day was, but she never took the bait. 

This was what Emily needed. She had been so shaken by this trade, her self-confidence that had at one point seemed incapable of sinking any lower, was down the drain. Kelley had always been the best at sensing Emily’s need for validation, her need to know that she _was_ good, the best at zeroing in on Emily’s feelings of insecurity without actually acknowledging them out loud. When she first joined the team, Kelley was sure to include her in everything, like she’d been there the whole time. Which, for a wide-eyed 22-year-old, meant the world. Even now, Emily knows that Kelley can read her like a book, there was no hiding from her, not that Emily would ever want to. 

*** 

**_Lin_** ** _dsey_ ** _: have you talked to sonny recently?_

**_Kelley_ ** _: Define recently..._

**_Lindsey_ ** _: in the last six hours_

**_Kelley_ ** _: No, it’s late there_

**_Kelley_ ** _: Why?_

**_Lindsey_ ** _: call her_

**_Lindsey_ ** _: like now_

Kelley did what she was told. What could Lindsey possibly know about Emily that she didn’t? Besides, it was nearly 2:00 AM in Orlando, she should be asleep. It took a couple rings before she picks up. When dialing, Kelley also noticed that the group chat she had with some of her national team teammates was going haywire, at least 50 messages. She would have to check on that later. 

“Kel?” Immediately, Kelley could tell something was wrong. The tone in her voice was shaky, nothing like how she would sound normally, even if she had just been pulled out of sleep. 

“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” 

“I- I- I can’t go to Utah.” 

“What?” Kelley hoped she had misheard. 

“The team... positive tests... I’m so sorry.” Emily was crying. 

“Em, calm down. Talk to me, tell me what happened.” 

“People tested positive, a lot of people. We aren’t going to the tournament.” 

Kelley mind went from racing wildly to a dead stop. “Are you... are you okay?” 

She can hear Emily take a deep breath. “Yes, I’m fine. But we all have to isolate for two weeks now.” 

“I’ll be there soon.” Kelley was already pulling her suitcase out of the closet. 

“No! Kelley, you can’t. I could test positive; I can’t expose you.” 

Now it was Kelley that was crying. She pressed her back against the wall in the hallway and slid down to the ground. It just wasn’t fair. What had Emily, her sweet, sweet Emily, done to deserve this? First the trade, and now she wouldn’t even get to play. Kelley knew that Emily needed the national team coaches to see her, see that she should be at the Olympics, and now there were no plans in the near future for her to play at all. 

And she was alone, that was the worst part. Emily could handle being alone a lot better than Kelley, but anyone is bound to go a little crazy after two weeks, especially with the way Emily internalized everything. Kelley wanted to scream and yell and kick things, but she knew that wouldn’t help right now. She needed to be the calming force that Emily always was for her. 

“Em?” 

She hums a response, breathing still shaky. 

“Promise me something. Once you get out of quarantine, go to your parents or Emma’s. Don’t stay in your apartment alone. Please?” 

“But -” Emily started to protest. 

“Emily. Promise me.” 

“Okay, I promise.” 

They spend a few more minutes on the phone, Kelley attempting to lull Emily to sleep. They made plans for a FaceTime call the next day and Kelley vowed to find some lighter topics to talk about. Anything to put a smile on her girlfriend’s face. She tried her best to not think about how they would likely be separated for nearly two months. 

Before going to bed, she skimmed the group chat and sent off separate texts to Ash, Ali, and Syd, checking to make sure they were okay and that she was there if they needed anything. 

Emily couldn’t fall asleep that night, no matter how hard she tried. What was the point anymore? She wanted to rail at God, wondering what she must have done in a previous life to deserve this. First, she’s shipped off, thousands of miles away from the people she cared about the most, and now, once she finally started settling in and getting excited about actually playing soccer, it had all gone to hell. She stared at the ceiling in her bedroom, at the spinning fan, until the sun started to come up. Coincidentally, it was the same time the calls for comment and social media notifications started rolling in. She turned her phone off and rolled over in her bed, hoping sleep might finally come. 

*** 

“O'Hara! You’ve got some mail.” 

Kelley’s ears perked up like a dog hearing the wrinkle of the treat bag. She never got mail anymore, and certainly not while she was stuck in this godforsaken hotel. Who would send her something here? How would they even know the address? She took the medium sized package and melted when she saw the return address was in Marietta, Georgia. 

Emily had kept her promise, travelling to her parents’ home as soon as she was given a clean bill of health. It was nice to have people around again, and her stress level had started to decline. Emily hated when Kelley was right, her gloating was insufferable. 

Kelley had stayed in Utah and the tournament was nearly over. Her team had done well, though they had been knocked out the previous night. She sat back down at the table and used her knife to open the box. The first thing she saw was a card on the very top. She opened it, smiling at the familiar handwriting. 

_Kelley,_ _Kel_ _, Kevin,_ _Keppy_ _, KO (how many nicknames do you need??)_

_Do you remember New Year’s two years ago? I took you to Waffle House and you ate the greasiest,_ _most delicious meal of your life. What you may not have known is how badly I wanted to kiss you that night. Can you imagine? Getting those extra six months with you would have been incredible_ _. But_ _I wouldn’t change our story for all the waffles in the world_ _._

_I’m writing this on July 7_ _th_ _, which, if you didn’t know, happens to be the_ _anniversary_ _of_ _the first t_ _ime_ _you kissed me. Blame on it on the champagne if you want, but_ _we all know that you were_ _sooooo_ _into me. So today, one_ _year later, I want to celebrate us. It sucks that we can’t be together, but I ho_ _pe this makes you feel a little closer to me today._

_1\. First_ _,_ _we have_ _a bag of peanut butter chips from Waffle House themselves! (It helps to be a local celebrity) To remind_ _you_ _of that night_ _, but also save them for the next time you make me_ _breakfast_ _._

_2\. I can’t actually ship you a bottle of champagne (I tried_ _) so you have a_ _mini_ _bottle of s_ _parkling cider_ _. D_ _on’t go too crazy_ _._

_3\. It's one of my favorites and difficult to part with, but here’s the tee shirt you love to sleep in. Go Hoos!_

_4\. I can’t imagine how you’re surviving with hotel coffee, so here’s some from home_ _._

_5\. Lastly, some chocolate because you’re just so sweet. They’re not vegan though, so I’ll eat them if you don’t._

_This last year with you has been_ _so incredible_ _and I can’t wait for the next one. I know you’re kicking ass out there but_ _come home soon (only if you have a trophy)._

_I love you. To the moon and back. T_ _ogether and apart._

_Emily,_ _Em_ _,_ _Sonnett_ _, Sonny, Son_

Kelley thumbed through the contents of her package. Running her fingers along the worn material of Emily’s shirt and lifts the bag of coffee from Emily’s favorite café. She gathered her things and skipped back to her room, already dialing the phone. 

One year together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to inject a touch of levity into this collective trauma we're all going through so I hope you enjoyed. Let me know in the comments what you thought and if you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave them!


	14. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So much for not being mushy.” 
> 
> \--  
> Title is Jack Johnson

Tobin and Christen got married over Christmas. They eloped and didn’t tell anyone until they were finally all together again for January camp. They showed everyone pictures of their cute little ceremony on the beach with their families, looking beautiful as ever. After the subsequent dissatisfaction of being left out passed, Ashlyn and Pinoe took it upon themselves to throw a reception party on the last night of camp. The team managed to convince Vatko and the staff to reserve a space at their hotel. Everyone was given a task to prepare. Lindsey, Rose, and Mal were in charge of décor, while Sam and Abby got food. Emily and Kelley, naturally, were in charge of the booze. 

“Are we going for classy or getting our money’s worth?” Emily giggled, holding up a 24-pack of Bud Light in one hand and an almost comically large bottle of champagne in the other. 

“More bang for our buck, definitely!” Kelley takes the case of beer while Emily returned the champagne. 

As they make their way around the store, Kelley linked their hands together, swinging them in step. 

“Can you believe they’re married?” 

“We thought this day would never come. Bet they’re just as nauseating as ever though.” Emily wrinkled her nose. 

“Maybe even worse.” Kelley chuckled. “We’re not like that, are we?” 

“God, I hope not. I love you, Kel, but don’t get all mushy on me.” Kelley untangled their fingers and wrapped her free hand around Emily’s waist, leaving a kiss on her shoulder before Emily laid her arm across Kelley’s back. 

“I’ll try my best, no promises though.” 

On the drive back to the hotel, Kelley can’t help but stare at her girlfriend behind the wheel. After a year and a half together (and even more spent pining for one another), she was continually surprised that Emily could take her breath away without actually trying. She was just there, in her stupid baseball hat and a loose sweater, and the sight of her warmed Kelley’s heart just as much as it did years ago. 

After the tournament in Utah ended, Kelley went back to Atlanta. She tried to convince Emily to sell her condo (or at least rent it out) and officially move in with her. They spent all their time together anyways and Emily didn’t need the extra expense of a home she wasn’t living in. 

_“Kelley, I would love nothing_ _more,_ _but I think my mom might have a conniption if I moved in_ _with someone_ _without being married first. My parent_ _s are pretty cool_ _, but they are still old school about some things.”_

_“You’re 27 years old, you can make your own choices! They let us share a bedroom when we_ _’ve_ _staye_ _d_ _there!”_

_“Yeah, because it shares a wall with theirs.”_

_“They can’t possibly think we’re abstaining from sex until we get married, can they?”_

_It was the first time Kelley had said phrased the_ _possibility_ _of marriage as a_ _when_ _instead of an i_ _f._ _Emily would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about being married to Kelley. Abo_ _ut_ _having kids, growing old together, the whole shebang. Because she_ _definitely_ _has_ _thought about it_ _, and it seemed like, m_ _aybe_ _,_ _Kelley has_ _too._

_“I don’t know, babe._ _I would like to remove the thought of my parents knowing about our sex life from my_ _brain for all eternity._ _For now, let me keep the condo. You know I’m staying wherever you are.”_

Kelley sat back in the passenger seat of the car, smiling to herself. She thought about how the only times Emily had gone back to her condo in the last few months was to switch out her sweatshirts and sneakers, claiming Kelley’s city apartment didn’t have enough closet space. 

Emily dropped her hand to rest against Kelley’s thigh. “What’s got you smiling?” 

“You.” 

Emily threw her head back against the headrest, exhaling an exaggerated sigh. 

“So much for not being mushy.” 

*** 

The party was in full swing by dinnertime. Christen and Tobin, unsurprisingly, had found themselves in the back corner of the hotel ballroom, oblivious to everyone else, just the way they liked it. Kelley sat down at a table next to Alex, who was coming off her first post-pregnancy camp. Emily had been accosted by Rose and Mal and dragged onto the dance floor. Since it was camp, no one had brought any nice “wedding reception” style clothes, but Kelley thought Emily looked just as good in her leggings and sneakers as she did in a dress and heels, but maybe she was biased. 

“When are you going to lock that down?” Alex’s words snap Kelley out of her Emily-induced trance. 

“What?” 

“When. Are you. Going lock that down?” She repeated, punctuating her words for emphasis. 

“And by that you mean...?” Kelley hoped playing dumb might help here. 

“Wormy. You know what I mean. She is way out of your league so you might want to put a ring on it before someone comes along to sweep her away.” 

“Alex!” 

“I’m joking! Not about the ring stuff, though. Don’t try to tell me you haven’t had that thought before now, I know you.” 

She was right, Kelley thought about it all the time. She agonized over the possibility that someone would come along, someone better, and take Emily away from her. She worried all the time about Emily finally realizing she could do better. Any time they went out or to an event, she was on high alert for any pretty girls that found their way into Emily’s orbit. Emily had snapped at her a few weeks ago when Kelley physically put herself between Emily and some girl at the bar. 

_“You were marking your territory! You might as well have peed on me!”_ _Emil_ _y didn’t get_ _mad_ _often, though there were times Kelley_ _definitely deserved_ _her anger._

_“She was flirting with you! And she was staring at your boobs the whole time!”_

_Emily scoffed and walked away to a_ _high-top_ _table_ _. Kelley followed her, tail between her legs._ _It took a little while before Emily spoke to her again._

_“_ _Kel_ _, t_ _h_ _at girl could_ _have been standing there_ _naked_ _and I still wouldn’t give her the time of day.”_

_“Why not? She was certainly pretty enough.”_

_Emily came around to_ _the other_ _side of the table_ _and put her_ _hands on_ _Kelley’s shoulders. “Do I have to shake you? Kelley, I love_ _you_ _, I want to be with_ _you._ _Get that through your stupidly_ _thick skull, okay? You’re it, you’re stuck with me._ _”_

_“But--” Emily cuts her off with a kiss._

_“No buts. Even though yours is very cute.” Kelley raised her eyeb_ _rows as Emily moved her arms around her waist and slid her hands into Kelley’s back pockets._

She’s pulled out of her spiraling thoughts when Alex gave her shoulder a squeeze. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you, Kel.” 

“I’m not upset. And being worried some might steal her isn’t exactly a reason to get married.” Kelley blinked back a few tears, hoping Alex wouldn’t notice. No such luck. 

“Okay. All I’m saying is that girl loves you more than life and I know you feel the same. Don’t wait too long.” 

Kelley nodded her head curtly and Alex knew that meant the conversation was over. Kelley leaned back in her chair and watched Emily dance with her friends, putting the smile back on her face. When the music (props to DJ Crystal) changed to a slow song, her eyes met Emily’s, who was beckoning her to the dance floor. She looped her arms around Emily, fingers twirling the baby hairs at the base of her neck. 

“Hi.” Emily smiles, giving Kelley a peck on the lips. 

“Anyone ever told you you’ve got moves? Maybe you could teach me sometime.” Kelley smirked as Emily pulled her in close, swaying to the beat. 

Suddenly, they’re interrupted by Rose, who managed to squeeze herself in between them as she yelled. “Leave room for Jesus! Hands above the waist ma’am!” If looks could kill, Rose would probably have disintegrated into nothing under Emily and Kelley’s eyes. She ran away before Emily could grab her. 

“What the fuck was that?” 

“I’m sure someone dared her to. My money’s on Allie, she’s been acting suspicious.” Emily’s eyebrows knitted together the way they did when she was concentrating, looking around the room. Kelley loved it, though she loved pretty much anything Emily did. 

Later that night, Kelley took Emily’s hand and they slipped away from the party. There was a pretty courtyard at the hotel with comfy lounge chairs. Kelley pulled Emily down on top of her, their faces so close their noses almost touch. 

“Hi.” Kelley echoed Emily’s words from earlier. “I missed you.” 

“We’ve been together all day.” 

“Yeah, but it’s camp. I got too used to having you all to myself. The one thing that virus was good for.” 

“You’re a dork.” 

“But I’m _your_ dork, right?” 

Emily’s head cocked to the side. “What’s wrong?” 

Kelley took a deep breath, which was made a little harder with her girlfriend lying on top of her. “Nothing. Alex just made some comment.” 

“About me?” 

“About me and you. Em, do you want to get married?” Emily’s entire body stiffened, and Kelley backtracked. “Shit, no. I just mean in general. Is it something you see in your future?” She pretended it didn’t sting just a little that Emily’s reaction had been so visceral. 

“Hell of a way to propose to someone, babe.” Emily chuckled, making Kelley feel a bit better. “But yeah, of course I want to get married. Not right now though. Maybe we can talk more about it after the Olympics.” 

“You mean it?” Kelley smiled wide. 

“Sure. Assuming I--” Kelley covered Emily’s mouth with her hand. 

“Don’t finish that sentence. You will be on that team, I know it.” 

Emily licked her hand, making Kelley squeal. 

*** 

Soon enough, the season was starting up again and they had to be split up. Kelley whined like a five-year-old when it was time to get on her plane, but Emily had come to expect it by now and sometimes even laughed, which usually did not go over well. It was only about a month until they saw each other again but after spending the last few months living together, any amount of separation was hard. 

When they get back into training, Kelley could feel how much the time off had weakened her. Not that she ever thought of herself as _weak,_ but her sore ankles and aching back tried to tell her otherwise. 

She hadn’t talked to anyone but Alex about it, but after a lot of thought and conversation, Kelley decided that after the Olympics, she was going to retire. Her body had been nagging her for years now and she wanted to leave the game on her terms instead of being forced out. At first, Alex had tried to talk her out of it, claiming she was still young and was important to the team. 

“Alex, can you keep a secret?” Kelley asked during their FaceTime call. 

“I can’t believe you had to ask me that! Do our ten years of friendship mean nothing to you?” Alex gasped in fake shock. 

“I’m going to ask her to marry me.” The words rushed out of Kelley’s mouth before she could stop them. “I’m not exactly sure when, but soon. And if she says yes--” 

Alex cuts her off. “When she says yes.” 

“ _If_ she says yes, I don’t want to continue living in different states.” She sees Alex raise her brows, about to cut in. “And I know you’re going to say ‘just ask for a trade’ but it’s just time, Al. I want what you have, I want to start a family.” 

“Worm, if this is what you want, then I support you. Also, once you retire you will start your job as Charlie’s babysitter. We’ll see if you really want kids after listening to her scream bloody murder. Who knew babies had such lung capacity?” Kelley giggles. “Have you picked out a ring yet?” 

“No. She never wears much jewelry except those little gold rings. I don’t want to pick the wrong one.” 

Alex perks up, Kelley can tell her brain is already working. 

“Leave it to me, it’s been a while since I’ve done some best friend recon work.” 

*** 

The Olympic roster is supposed to be announced sometime in the next few days. Vlatko is better than Jill about calls, saying everyone will know the same day and as soon as possible. When it comes, Emily was spending the weekend in Utah. For once, she’d woken up before Kelley and was in the middle of fixing them breakfast. 

“Em? EMILY!” 

She dropped the mixing bowl full of batter and frantically ran to the bedroom. “What? What happened? Are you hurt?” 

Kelley doesn’t say anything, the just points to Emily’s vibrating phone on the nightstand. Emily picks it up, her hands shaking just a little. 

“Hello?” Emily sank down on the edge if their bed. 

“Sonnett! How are you?” Vlatko sounded happy, that had to be a good sign, right? 

“Doing well, Coach. How ‘bout yourself?” 

“I’m great! And it is because I’m so excited to tell you that you are going to the Olympics! Congratulations, Emily!” 

Emily almost dropped her phone. She squeezed Kelley’s leg, needing something to hold onto. 

“Really?” Kelley scooted closer to her. 

“Yes! As a full team member, not alternate.” 

Emily can’t contain the way her smile gets bigger and bigger with every word he was saying. “Wow, thank you Coach. Thank you so much!” 

Before she was able to actually hang up the phone, Kelley bear-hugged her and flopped them backward onto the bed. 

“I told you so!” She squealed as she covered every inch of Emily’s face with kisses. 

They laid in bed like that for what felt like hours afterward, the bowl of waffle batter on the kitchen floor long forgotten. Kelley whispered strings of praise in Emily’s ears, who couldn’t stop smiling even if she tried. Soon enough, Kelley gets the call too. Even though Emily knew from the get-go that Kelley was a stone-cold lock, she celebrated as if she wasn’t. 

Later that afternoon, after a morning spent _celebrating_ their good news, Emily finally deals with the food congealing on the floor. Kelley would have thrown a fit if she wasn’t so happy. She laid a plate of new waffles in front of Emily at the breakfast bar. 

“Only the best for my Olympian.” She cooed, pecking Emily’s lips. 

As she’s cleaning up, Kelley makes a decision. Maybe it’s the wrong one, but she doesn’t want any secrets between the two of them. 

“Em?” 

“Hmm?” Emily grunts with her mouth full of food. 

“I want to retire after the Olympics.” 

Emily’s fork drops and makes a loud sound on the plate. She just stares at Kelley, her expression unreadable. 

“Did you hear me?” 

Emily finally swallows and gets up from her seat, moving to press Kelley against the countertop. 

“Well, I guess we better get you that gold medal.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this one, mostly fluff to fill a space but sometimes you need that. But I hope you liked it! I think there's going to be two more chapters to wrap it all up nicely but don't hold me to it. I love y'all's comments so let me know what you thought! Stay well!


	15. Pure Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well you were kind of rambling, so can you hurry up?” 
> 
> \--  
> Title is Earth, Wind, and Fire

Toyko was unlike any place Emily had ever seen. They had arrived in Japan a few days before the opening ceremonies and the team was taken on a tour of the city. The colors, the sheer volume of people, and the undercurrent of excitement made her smile so big, she knew her face would be sore tomorrow. 

The bus stopped in one of the fun fashion districts and let the team off to do some exploring. Emily grabbed Kelley’s hand and led her into a shop bursting with colors and patterns. Kelley found a bench near the dressing rooms and let Emily put on a show for her. She strutted up and down the aisle in different hats, dresses, and scarves. This was the happiest Emily had felt in a really long time. Sure, her life right now was pretty awesome. The chatter about Atlanta’s women’s team was finally coming true, and Emily had already started working with her agent to request a trade. And Kelley, well, Kelley was always amazing. She had been all for moving back home for good and was working on a plan to get out of Utah. They hadn’t really talked much more about her retirement, about whether it would be just national team or soccer altogether. Though that was mostly Kelley’s fault, because she still hadn’t decided. But in this moment, in this funky little shop, Emily felt free. She had met her goal of making it to the Olympics, and with the woman she loves right by her side. Maybe in a few days' time, the pressure of the tournament would hit her, but for now, she just smiled. 

*** 

The Olympic village in Toyko was much stricter than in Rio, thanks to the pandemic, but since Emily had bribed Mal into switching rooms back when they got their assignments a week ago, it wasn’t really an issue. Kelley was unpacking their toiletries in the bathroom (knowing that Emily wouldn’t think to unpack her shampoo until she was already in the shower) while Emily flopped onto the bed, exhausted and they hadn’t even been to a training yet. 

“How is it that after all these years, jet lag still knocks me out every time?” She yawns. 

Kelley calls back from the bathroom. “Because you never sleep on the plane. I’ve been telling you, take some melatonin and you’ll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by the time we land.” 

When she gets no response, Kelley poked her head out the door, smiling when she sees Emily had passed out, her soft snores just audible from across the room. She rested against the door frame, smiling to herself for just a moment before continuing to unpack their things. She laid out the awful Team USA outfits they were required to wear to the opening ceremony that night on the other bed so they wouldn’t wrinkle before lying down next to Emily. Even asleep, Kelley could tell Emily felt her presence, snuggling into her and purring sweetly. Kelley lets her stay that way for an hour or so before gently shaking her awake. 

“No, no, five more minutes. Please?” Emily’s voice was thick with sleep, making Kelley smile. 

“Sorry, baby. We have to get ready; we’re supposed to be downstairs in like twenty minutes.” 

Emily finally opened her eyes. “What the hell are you wearing?” 

Kelley giggled. “Same thing you’re about to be wearing. Come on, get up sleepyhead.” She took Emily’s hands in hers, pulling her to her feet. 

The opening ceremony was the biggest spectacle Emily had ever seen. Thousands of athletes gathered together, representing their country, and the hosts put on an amazing show. In Rio, she had been so nervous and uptight she opted to skip the opening in favor of trying to rest. Kelley remembered that, though she’d never bring it up, and took Emily's hand in her own, rubbing soothing circles with her thumb as they made their way around the track, waving to the crowds and the TV cameras. 

*** 

Emily gets the start in their first game over Kelley. When Vlatko tells the team, she shakes her head in disbelief. Something was wrong, this isn’t how it was supposed to be. She was about to say something when Kelley gripped her thigh, right near the crease in her knee. Once they were back in the room, Emily unloaded. 

“What is he thinking? I’m not ready, I’m not good enough. You’re so much better, you don’t deserve to be on the bench. I don’t want you on the bench. Not if...” Kelley takes her hands and pulls Emily into her lap on the bed. She knew exactly what Emily was about to say. _Not if this is your last tournament._

“Emily Sonnett, stop being so hard on yourself. You are good, so good, okay? You earned this; you are ready. Coach wouldn’t put you on the field if he didn’t think you were ready. The best player plays, end of story.” She wraps Emily tight in her arms, leaving a kiss on her neck. 

“I’m scared, Kel. What if I screw up?” Emily’s voice breaks, trying not to cry. 

“Then you fix it. But you’re not going to screw it up, I know it.” 

Pretty much every soccer player in the world would agree that a World Cup medal means more than an Olympic medal, but finally stepping out onto that field was something had dreamed about since 2016. They win their first game 2-0. Lindsey scored off a diving header and Sam scored a laser free kick. Emily played one of the best games of her life, delivering the cross right to Lindsey’s head and tearing up and down the right side for 75 minutes before Kelley subbed on. Emily smacked her butt for good luck as she finished out the game. 

After their third group game, Kelley straddled Emily’s back while she laid on the bed. She had collided with another player and had gotten stepped on. It certainly wasn’t as good a massage as she’d get from the trainers in the morning, but Kelley wanted to help. She was so proud of Emily, who had started all three games. 

“Right there, yeah. When did you get so good at this?” Her voice was a little muffled because of the pillows. 

“I am a woman of many talents.” Kelley says as she dug her thumbs in between Emily’s shoulder blades, eliciting a groan. 

“That you are.” 

Kelley leaned down and pressed a kiss to Emily’s bare back. “You did so good today, baby. You and Lindsey are like a two-woman wrecking crew. Nothing is getting past you.” 

Suddenly, it’s the night before the gold medal match. Abby had gotten injured in the semi-final game, so Emily had been pushed to center back and Kelley was, once again, the starting right back. Emily was so nervous she couldn’t sleep. She had barely been able to eat at dinner, mostly just pushing food around her plate and hoping no one (Kelley) would notice. No such luck as Kelley forced a protein bar into her hands and watched her eat it. Later, Kelley was passed out, curled into Emily’s side, while Emily stared up at the ceiling. 

She had to get out of the bed, a feeling of claustrophobia washing over her. She slowly slid out from Kelley’s grasp, pulled on a pair of sweats and grabbed her key. She didn’t actually have anywhere to go, so she walked. She walked up and down the hallway until it looked like she had worn a track in the ugly carpet. 

All she could do was think about 2016. How her nerves about leaving college early to play professionally nearly paralyzed her. How all of her screw-ups on the field had kept her from making the full squad in Rio. How her fears had spilled over into her personal life and screwed with her relationships with her friends and family. 

All she could do was think about 2017, arguably the worst year of her life. Sure, going to Australia was cool and if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have convinced Cait and Ellie to come play in America, but the circumstances that forced her there were less than ideal. A whole year without seeing the field, without playing for her country. Playing for the national team was a luxury that she no longer took for granted and was thankful every time she got called in. But she was also terrified that each time was her last. 

All she could do was think about that game in Utah, now far enough away that it feels like a nightmare. She’d like to think she had proved everyone who doubted her after (or during) that wrong, but it still weighed on her. 

When she finally slipped back into the room, the sun was starting to rise. She planned to hop in the shower and pretend she hadn’t spent the night wandering. But as soon as she opened the door, she knew that would never happen. Kelley was sitting up against the headboard, knees pulled to her chest. Emily didn’t even have time to appreciate just how beautiful she looked in the glow of the sunrise before she started to tear up. 

“Kel, I’m--” 

“Just come sit with me. Please?” She gestured for Emily, who climbed into the bed. She lets Kelley wrap her up, hoping the pressure of her arms would help her mind settle. 

“Em, do you how scared I was before the final in 2019? I spent the whole night before puking my guts out. You’re allowed to be nervous; I promise. But you don’t have to go through it alone, okay? I’m right here, I can handle whatever is going on in that pretty head of yours.” She stroked Emily’s hair gently. 

“I’m just... just so scared I’m going to screw up.” 

“Can I tell you something?” Kelley asks quietly. 

“As long as it’s not ‘you won’t screw up’.” 

“I love you. I love you with everything I have, okay? And I’m so excited to play next to you tonight. Whether you screw up or not, I love you. I’ll love you tomorrow, the next day, next year, in twenty years. Your teammates love you; your fans love you. None of that will change tomorrow. Let’s just play some soccer.” Kelley turns to face Emily and kisses her. 

“Morning breath.” Emily giggles, pulling back. 

“I don’t care.” Kelley pulls them back together. 

They walk out onto the field after the anthem. She and Lindsey do their handshake, which makes her smile just a little. Then, she turns to look at Kelley. They lock eyes and so much more than words is passed between them. When the whistle blows the start of the game, Kelley winks at her before tearing up the field. 

1-0. Kelley floated a perfect cross onto Lindsey’s head in the 59th minute. 

2-0. Tobin sends a low ball in from the corner flag and Emily charges in, managing to get her foot on it when no one else could. Her first international goal in the 81st minute. 

When the final whistle blows, Emily falls to her knees. They won; they won an Olympic gold medal. She doesn’t get much time to process it when she’s tackled to the ground by her teammates. There’s crying, there’s hugging, and there’s laughing. They all stand on the podium together, arm in arm, with gold medals hanging around their necks. Emily had never felt so light, so happy. 

Kelley finds her a few minutes later and pulls her aside, away from prying eyes and cameras. Emily was so elated; she just giggled like she was drunk the whole way to the tunnel they’d walked out of a few hours earlier. 

“If you wanted to make out, Kel, all you had to do was ask.” She throws her arms around Kelley’s neck, hugging her. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Kelley makes eye contact with Alex, who was standing just on the edge of the tunnel and gives her a thumbs up. Kelley lifts Emily's arms off of her, pulling them apart so she could look directly at Emily. 

“Hi.” She smiles. 

“You’re acting weird, Kel. Did you already get booze? You better share.” 

Kelley chuckles. “I’ll share with you, Em. But can I ask you something first?” 

Emily nods enthusiastically, her smile so wide that her eyes are nearly invisible. But when Kelley sinks down onto one knee, her eyes are as big as saucers. 

“Kelley...” 

“Just let me get this out, okay? If I stumble a little, remember we played 90 minutes.” Kelley jokes. “Two years ago, when I accosted you in that tiny bathroom in France, I never would have guessed in a million years that we would be here. You saw me when I was trying so desperately to hide. You loved me when I thought no one wanted me. You’re the strongest, most amazing person and I’m so happy the world gets to see how goofy and lovable you are. But I also love the parts you save just for me. Like, when you always leave me the last cookie in the box or when you pretend not to cry at sappy movies. You are the most important thing in my life, and I can’t imagine ever being without you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. Emily Ann Sonnett, will you--” 

“YES!” Emily interjects. 

“You didn’t even let me ask!” 

“Well you were kind of rambling, so can you hurry up?” 

“Will you marry me?” Kelley chokes out, her tears starting to overtake her. 

“Hell yes!” Emily squeals, falling on top of her. 

*** 

Kelley flopped down onto the bed while Emily finished up in the shower. Her phone had been lighting up like a Christmas tree with well wishes, but she sees one notification that piques her interest. 

_@emilysonnett has tagged you in a post_

She already knows what the picture is before she opened it, or pictures she should say. A photo series of the two of them in the tunnel, secretly shot by Alex. 

_@emilysonnett: D_ _idn’t think today could get any more golden_

_@kelleyohara: you’re stuck with me now_ _bby_

_@lindseyhoran10: barf._ _ps_ _i_ _call best ma_ _n_

_@alexmorgan13: wow no photo creds... cool_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go! The last chapter will be an epilogue of sorts. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did, please leave a comment to let me know! Stay well


	16. Even Fairytale Characters Would Be Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” 
> 
> __  
> Title is PlayRadioPlay!

Kelley plays her last game for the red, white, and blue in September of that year, the last game of the Olympic victory tour. In the 89th minute, she’s called off with no sub. Vlatko told her at half, “no one can truly replace Kelley O’Hara”, and her eyes welled up just a bit. She gets hugs from Alex and Emily as she walked to the fourth official, waving up at the fans. 

Emily was traded away to the new Atlanta United Women’s team before the 2022 season and they bought a little house together in the suburbs (Emily’s parents made an exception because they were engaged, to which Emma argued since this was not the rule when she got engaged). Kelley had officially retired and was now claiming the title of “trophy wife.” She didn’t know what she was going to do after soccer, but she had time to figure it out. 

Their wedding is set for April 2022. It was in Georgia, at a vineyard near Kelley’s childhood home. Family, friends, teammates all converged to celebrate their love. It was a beautiful, sunny day, perfect for an outdoor wedding. 

The two were separated into the two dressing rooms with the members of their bridal party. Alex and Erin were with Kelley, helping put the finishing touches on her hair and makeup. She wore a lace dress with an art-deco-y pattern that hugged her body. Alex was adding one more flower to the braid in Kelley’s hair while Erin reapplied her lipstick. 

“I can’t believe my baby sister is getting married!” Erin said excitedly. 

“I know, I thought this day would never come.” Alex groaned, feigning exasperation. 

“Hey! Not all of us found our soulmate in college, okay?” Kelley quips, her fingers twirling the tiny diamond pendant Emily had given her years ago. 

“I'm kidding, Wormy. I’m happy for you!” Alex says as she picks up little Charlie in her cute flower girl dress. “Cha-Cha doesn't Aunt Kelley look so pretty?” 

“Pretty Keppy!” The toddler squealed and clapped her hands. 

Kelley rolled her eyes. “I told you not to let Rose babysit.” 

Across the hall, Emily was with Lindsey and Emma. Her sister was buttoning the back of her dress while Lindsey helped herself to another mimosa. 

“Linds, please don’t get drunk _before_ the ceremony? That’s what the reception is for.” 

“Hey, I’m just pregaming. You and I both know a good base is necessary when trying to keep up with you and Kelley. Not all of us spent four years getting drunk at frat parties.” 

“You really missed out on that one.” Emily giggled. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door and Emily’s mom stepped in the room. “It’s showtime, ladies!” She comes over to wrap Emily in a tight hug, careful not to mess up her just-sprayed curls. “Oh, my sweet Emmy, you look gorgeous.” Emily’s dress was simple and just low cut enough to be tasteful but still made her feel a little sexy. The flowy bottom was perfect for twirling around the dance floor. 

Kelley went down the aisle first, arm in arm with her father. As soon as the music started again, she started crying. Emily looked absolutely stunning as she smiled, eyes shining with tears as she made her way toward Kelley. They join hands, Emily rubbing soft circles to keep Kelley from bawling. The priest gives them the floor, having asked to write their own vows. This time, Emily goes first. 

“Kelley, when I look at you, I see my best friend; your energy and your passion inspire me in ways I never thought possible. When I look at you, I know that there's a God, and that He loved me so much that He took the time to create you just for me. I vow to love you, fiercely and in all your forms. To always leave you the last piece of pizza. And to never, ever, forget this is a once in a lifetime love.” 

“Wow. Way to set the bar there, Em. You are just so full of grace, and I promise before God and these beautiful people that I will love you with my whole heart. I vow to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. To agree to disagree on vegan cheese. It's a miracle to find the kind of peace and happiness that you've given me, and I am forever grateful. You’ve given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you." 

They shot gunned beers together as they entered the reception. 

*** 

They learned the ups and downs of in vitro fertilization the hard way. It took three tries but the lines on the little stick couldn’t be clearer. That morning, Emily is woken up by a kiss on her neck, then one on her jaw. 

“Well, good morning to you too.” She opened her eyes to see her wife (her wife!) straddling her lap. “Kel, it’s like, the crack of dawn. Why are you up right now?” 

“Couldn’t sleep. Too excited.” 

“About what? Today’s a recovery day for me, remember? I don’t plan on leaving this bed for quite some time.” Emily tried to roll over but to no avail. 

“Not a what. It’s a who.” Kelley said, gleefully. 

“Did you invite someone over and not tell me?” 

“I don’t think so. This person won’t be here for like, seven months.” 

Emily looked at her quizzically, trying to follow that thinking. Suddenly, she gets it. “It... It worked?” 

Kelley nodded emphatically. “Congratulations, it’s an... it!” 

Emily sat up abruptly in the bed, knocking Kelley backwards and almost dropping her onto the ground. “Shit! Are you okay?” 

“I can’t wait to tell our child that when I first told you I was pregnant you shoved me to the floor.” Kelley cackled, climbing back into Emily’s lap. 

*** 

“Honey, I’m home!” Emily called, walking in through the front door, dropping her keys on the entry table. There’s no response, which Emily thought was weird. “Kelley? Babe, are you here?” She makes her way down the hall towards their bedroom when she hears it, quiet sobs coming from the spare bedroom Kelley had converted into a workout room/yoga studio. Opening the door, Emily found her very pregnant wife lying flat on her back, a thick yoga mat under her. She raced to Kelley's side, checking her all over for signs of a problem. 

“I can’t...” 

“Kel, what happened? What’s wrong?” 

“I can’t get up!” She wails. “I’ve been lying here for like two hours because I’m so fat that I can’t stand up. And I left my phone in the living room ‘to avoid distractions’ so I’ve been stuck here.” 

Emily has to bite her lip to keep from laughing. “But you feel okay, right? Like, you’re not in any pain.” 

“The only thing that hurts is my pride.” She lays back down onto the mat, placing her hands on her stomach. “God, get out! Get out, get out, get OUT!” 

Emily laid down on the floor next to her, resting her head against Kelley’s shoulder. “She’ll be here soon, babe.” 

“How did Alex do this? Like she only looked pregnant in profile, she was doing HIIT workouts, and looked flawless the whole time. While I look like a fucking whale. I hate being pregnant, you have to do this next time.” 

“If that’s what you want. For the record, I think you look beautiful.” Emily leaves a kiss on her shoulder. 

“You don’t have to lie to me, I’m not that fragile.” Kelley says, tears falling down her cheeks again. 

“I’m not lying to you. You’re having a baby, _our baby_ , how can I not find that insanely sexy?” 

Kelley huffed. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” 

“Is it working?” Emily cocked an eyebrow and earned a shove. “Kelley, you are the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world, and I love you so much. This will end soon, I promise. And at the end of it, we will have our little girl.” 

“Can you help me get up now? I’ve had to pee for like 45 minutes.” Emily cackles as she helps her to her feet. 

*** 

“Emily Sonnett O’Hara, I swear to God if you don’t get here soon, I will divorce you the second this baby comes out!” Kelley screeches into the phone. Any other time, Emily probably would have smiled at the use of her new full name. Taking Kelley's name had been a non-issue for her, though her wife had cried at the gesture. Kelley had gone into labor a week early, while Emily was at an away game. Thankfully, the game was just in Orlando, a quick plane ride up to Atlanta. She had raced to the airport as soon as Erin called her from the hospital. Kelley was already having contractions and Emily felt horrible that she wasn’t there. 

“My plane just landed, baby. I’m on my way to you right now.” There was more screaming but she couldn't make out any actual words.

As the Uber driver pulled up to the hospital, Emily ran inside. She had to badger the receptionist to get her attention and point her in the direction of Kelley’s room. She sprinted down the hall until she saw Erin standing outside the door. 

“She’s in rare form, Em. That epidural doesn’t seem to be doing too much.” 

Emily popped into the room, shaking off her jacket and tossing it onto the chair. She falls to Kelley’s side, taking her hand. Kelley was drenched in sweat, gritting her teeth. “I’m here, Kel. I’m here.” She reaches to stroke her forehead and Kelley snaps. 

“You! You did this to me!” She screamed, squeezing Emily’s hand so hard it had to be broken. Emily had seen enough movies and done enough reading to know that the hormones and the pain of childbirth often resulted in uncontrollable emotions. She’s saved from answering when the doctor comes in. 

“Emily! So glad you made it in time. Alright, Kelley, I think it's time to start pushing!” 

“I can’t... Em, I can’t do it. It hurts so much.” She’s sobbing now. 

“I know, I know it hurts, babe. You can do this, you’re so strong.” 

“Okay, mamas, I can see a little head!” Kelley’s cries broke Emily’s heart as she pushed. 

Soon, with one final push, their daughter comes sliding into the world. Kelley collapses against the bed, dropping Emily’s hand. Emily watches them cut the cord, dry her off, and wrap their little baby into a blanket. The doctor smiled as she handed over the squealing bundle. Emily walks back over to the bed and perches on the edge. 

“Here she is, mama! Ten fingers and ten toes, she’s perfect. You did amazing, Kel, I love you so much.” 

“I love you too.” Kelley was so exhausted she could barely speak. She looked down at their little girl and then back up at her wife. “We made that?” 

“We sure did. Welcome to the world, little one.” 

_And all was well._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (full disclosure: I did not come up with their vows on my own, for the most part they are a mash-up of different movie/tv vows)
> 
> I'm so blown away by how much you all enjoyed this and I hope I gave you a fitting end. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this story, it's been really fun to write! I do have some other plans up my sleeve but it may be a little while before they are ready. If anyone has any suggestions about what they'd like to see written, feel free to leave a comment. It doesn't to be So'hara either. Until then, stay well!


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